Tag: Hanukkah

Creating Comfortable Holiday Spaces

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Navigating social interactions can be particularly challenging for individuals with disabilities, especially during the holiday season when gatherings are frequent and often overwhelming. While some people enjoy socializing, they may prefer calm and predictable environments where they can engage in structured activities. Understanding their unique needs and preferences is crucial for creating a supportive and inclusive atmosphere that allows them to participate comfortably and meaningfully.  

A Brief Overview  

  • This is part of a series on the topic of creating joyful holidays for family members, which began in My Family’s Sensory and Adaptive Needs for the Holidays and continues in Sensory-Friendly Holiday Tips  and Giving the Gift of Sensory-Regulation; Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All.
  • Social interactions can be particularly challenging during the holiday season due to frequent and overwhelming gatherings.  
  • People with disabilities who enjoy socializing may prefer calm, predictable settings.  
  • Structured social activities provide a comfortable way for individuals to engage with others, as they offer clear rules and a shared experience.  
  • Family gatherings can be stressful due to interactions with relatives they don’t see often, leading to feelings of overwhelm.  
  • It’s crucial to respect the boundaries of individuals with disabilities or health care needs, allowing them to make their own choices about social interactions and providing opportunities for breaks to avoid overstimulation.  
  • Understanding and respecting social preferences and boundaries, especially during the holiday season, helps ensure people feel safe, respected, and included.  

Comfort In Calm Familiarity

People with disabilities or special health care needs who enjoy socializing may prefer calm, predictable gatherings. They might like sitting with a friend and playing video games, quietly working on a puzzle together, or playing board games. When faced with a loud, busy family gathering, individuals may withdraw or seek out one person they enjoy chatting with -someone who genuinely respects and understands their accommodation needs, and with whom they can happily spend time with. This person feels safe to them. However, it’s important to recognize that their safe person might need a break too, so having multiple people that they feel safe with can be beneficial.  

Incorporating Structured Activities

For many individuals, having structured social activities like board games or group video games can provide a comfortable way to engage with others. Social rules and nuances can often be confusing, making unstructured mingling feel overwhelming and unmanageable. Structured activities offer a more supportive environment for social interaction with the rules clearly identified and a shared experience to drive conversation. Baking together, wrapping presents, and completing holiday crafts are all shared experiences that have clear instructions and goals. These activities not only make socializing more manageable but also add a festive touch to holiday gatherings.  

Overstimulation With Unfamiliar Relatives

Even meeting with beloved family members can feel strange and stressful. Talking to relatives they don’t see often can be difficult for people as they may feel that they must work out how to talk and act around people that feel unfamiliar. This can be overwhelming since they have to understand and respond to different social cues and expectations that may not be easy or comfortable for them.  

To help ease this stress, consider preparing in advance by discussing who will be at the gathering and what to expect. Shared interests can be a great way to connect with others and make conversations more engaging. Tell or remind your loved one of interests they have in common with relatives they don’t see as often to help start conversations. Socializing can be challenging, so it’s important to be patient and provide support without pressure.  

Supporting Boundaries and Choice

Even with careful planning and maintaining traditions, the holiday season can still be overwhelming. Back-to-back events can be exhausting for anyone, but they can quickly become overstimulating for loved ones with disabilities, health care needs, and/or neurodivergence. Seeing new people or people they only see once a year, having to navigate complex social networks, and often trying to hide their neurodivergent traits to fit in can be very draining. While it is important to encourage your loved one to engage, it’s also critical to respect their boundaries and teach them how to have agency. Agency refers to their ability to make their own choices and decisions about social interactions, ensuring they feel empowered and in control. Allowing them to sit out some holiday parties for the sake of their own wellbeing can be a gift of emotional recharge, ensuring they don’t come out of the season completely exhausted.  

Conclusion

Recognizing and respecting the social preferences and boundaries of individuals with disabilities, health care needs, and/or neurodivergence is essential, especially during the busy holiday season. Providing structured activities and allowing breaks can help them manage the stress and overstimulation that often accompany large gatherings. This can include being aware of touch sensitivities, especially when consent to touch can’t be communicated or understood; preparation is critical. By fostering an environment of understanding and support, we can ensure that individuals feel safe, respected, and included, ultimately enhancing their social experiences and overall well-being. PAVE also has an article that gives more ideas when dealing with touch sensitivities, visit Sensory-Friendly Holiday Tips for more information.

Additional Information:

My Family’s Sensory and Adaptive Needs for the Holidays

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

The holidays are a fun and festive time that often includes lots of change in schedules, foods, bright lights, loud unexpected sounds, new people, and lots of heightened emotional situations (i.e. seeing Grandparents, presents, seeing Santa). All of this is often overwhelming and even disorienting, especially for those families or individuals who may have some challenges in navigating change or experience a disability or chronic health condition.

A Brief Overview 

  • This article shares ideas, tips, and resources around family-friendly tweaks that can be added to Holiday activities to reduce stress and overwhelm.
  • This is part of a series on the topic of creating joyful holidays for family members, which began in Sensory-Friendly Holiday Tips, and continues in Creating Comfortable Holiday Spaces and Giving the Gift of Sensory-Regulation; Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All.
  • How to plan for both the needs of your children with unique needs and siblings to encourage shared enjoyment.
  • How to use planning, clear communication, and providing a sense of control to create an inclusive holiday season. 
  • Understanding, supporting, and celebrating the unique needs of your family bring a sense of belonging and acceptance, allowing everyone to enjoy the festive spirit. 

Holidays and Families

People often see family get-togethers, new food, music, trips to see Santa, or new social situations as the joys of holidays, but for families who have children with a disability and those family members who experience life a little differently, these experiences can often be overwhelming and/or exhausting. This doesn’t mean they dislike the event or holidays; it just requires some preparation to make the season inclusive and enjoyable. 

It’s the age-old question… How to create an enjoyable experience for your child(ren) with a disability, their sibling(s), and still not exhaust yourself. Here are some tips that many families have found helpful:

  • Plan short outings and pack snacks (long activities are often overwhelming and tiring for everyone).
  • Bring headphones, fidgets, or handheld activities for kids with sensory needs and high overwhelm (it keeps them entertained while their siblings get to enjoy the holiday fun).
  • Have a person to be able to stay and to do active things with siblings, and someone to be able to take those who need to de-stress and wind down to their own space for quiet fun.
  • What are some home holiday things that mimic large activities (one of the Nutcrackers streamed on TV with popcorn and other treats, siblings dressed up as Santa and elves for pictures, building a pillow snow fort).
  • Sending family information ahead of time on sensory triggers and needs so that they understand if you need to leave early, don’t join in an activity, or ask to join in differently.

There is so much to do and enjoy during this time but navigating it takes thinking ahead and not trying to do everything.

What did you do as a family last year? What worked? What was most enjoyable? If you have older children, talking with your family before school gets out to plan and map out some special things will help with boredom. Give jobs to make the activities successful so that everyone helps make it inclusive, have the siblings talk about what they think will help, and make things comfortable and what will help. This makes it a family holiday that is not just the parents’ responsibility. Remembering to plan parent time off during the Holidays is an important self-care tool!

Travel

If travel is part of the Holiday plans, a more robust planning process is essential. Medications and an emergency medical information sheet, if your loved one has a chronic condition, can be downloaded and added to their luggage to tuck in with the medications. The linked sheet is from the F2F website care notebook page.  Having an extra 3-day emergency medication supply, if possible, is often recommended to give breathing room while doctors are contacted if there are travel delays. To support your loved one, consider planning travel itineraries that include ample downtime, familiar items for comfort, and clear, detailed schedules to reduce anxiety. Additionally, choosing quieter travel times and less crowded destinations can help create a more manageable experience. If there are food requirements, pack food that will make it through security and purchase beverages before getting on the plane. As mentioned above, having noise-canceling headphones, weighted blankets, games, and activities can also help reduce anxiety. 

Sensory Considerations

Sensory sensitivities can be a challenge for anyone whose body or brain is trying to process not only what is going on around them but also their own body’s challenges.  Age, length of time in an activity, anxiety, excitement, and how many systems in the body are impacted, all contribute to an individual’s capacity to handle the multiple layers of sensory input that come with Holiday activities. Knowing your child’s and family’s tolerance for those “layers” and what the stopping points are is essential to creating a holiday environment that minimizes sensory overload. This can include soft lighting, reduce loud noises, and provide sensory-friendly activities.

The holidays are just like any other time of change for your loved one. Take their unique sensory needs into account and what their routines are for medication, rest, and exercise. How the holiday adaptation will fit with your family’s rhythm and how your children usually interact. Taking the time to create buffer zones, adaptive spaces, creative personal activities, with spots of celebration and joy for all your family can take what could be stressful and overwhelming to manageable and memorable. To find other information and ideas on Holiday activities and adaptations, see the additional articles on the links below.

Additional Information

Sensory-Friendly Holiday Tips

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

 The holidays are full of sensory experiences. Flickering candles, holiday music, the aromas of food cooking, the fur on an unfamiliar dog, and the sounds of happy family members all provide sensory input. What is a source of joy for one person may be a cause for overwhelm to another. When being around a loved one with a disability, anyone can help manage these varying sensory experiences by planning ahead.

A Brief Overview 

  • This is part of a series on the topic of creating joyful holidays for family members, which began in My Family’s Sensory and Adaptive Needs for the Holidays, and continues in Creating Comfortable Holiday Spaces and Giving the Gift of Sensory-Regulation; Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All.
  • The holidays bring various sensory inputs that can be joyful for some but overwhelming for others. 
  • Plan for managing these sensory experiences with loved ones and their primary caregivers. 
  • Identify or create a calm space where the person can decompress and avoid or reduce overwhelm. 
  • Preferences for specific sensory supports should be discussed beforehand and regularly with the loved one. 
  • Recognize and normalize self-stimulatory behaviors, or “stims”, that do not cause physical harm to themselves or others as coping mechanisms for managing sensory input and stress. 
  • Plan for touch-sensitive individuals by setting boundaries, providing scripts for addressing unwanted touch, and having an escape plan. 
  • Foster an inclusive environment by understanding and respecting sensory needs, ensuring clear communication, and seeking feedback from loved ones. 

A Calm Space

Identifying or creating a space where someone is overwhelmed can take a break and still have fun eases the intensity and allows your loved one to decompress. The “veg-out room” usually creates itself, when people go there to relax and watch TV marathons while their stomachs settle after a big meal. By dimming the lights and keeping things quiet in this space, you can quickly and easily build a calming environment for overwhelmed or overstimulated family members to retreat, relax, and rejoin social activities when it is right for them. 

Sensory Systems and Preferences

To reduce the potential for being overwhelmed, your loved one may need to wear earbuds or headphones during social periods or other activities. Similarly, weighted clothing or objects (like blankets or stuffed toys) may provide a sense of comfort and security. Sensory supports are not one-size-fits-all, so talk with your loved one about their preferences. If you notice their preferences related to a specific sensory system, they may be interested in exploring other ways to meet their sensory needs at a later time. PAVE provides a downloadable introducing to The Sensory Systems and How to Meet Their Needs in the article, Giving the Gift of Sensory Regulation, Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All. Resist the urge to introduce new sensory supports without input from your loved one with a disability and/or health care need, especially during the holidays when there are already many unfamiliar experiences to navigate. 

Normalizing Self-Stimulation 

Many people with disabilities do specific repetitive behaviors to manage sensory input, reduce anxiety, or express themselves. These self-stimulatory behaviors, or “stims”, are ways they’ve learned intuitively to comfort themselves, cope in times of stress, and even express joy.  These “stims” can include rocking, humming, or fiddling with clothes.  Allowing your loved one to discuss and normalize non-harmful stimming helps to create a more inclusive environment. Thought-out responses can turn an angry retort into a teaching moment, such as, “Everyone has their own way of being and this is her way of pushing through her discomfort to spend this time with us. She is doing her best and we’re glad she’s here!” 

Touch Sensitivities

Unexpected touch can be very upsetting, especially those who are touch sensitive. The joy and excitement of the holidays can often make us forget that not everyone is comfortable with physical touch, including hugs. When consent to touch can’t be communicated or understood, preparation is critical. If your loved one is touch sensitive, there are some things you can do ahead of time to accommodate and support their needs: 

  • Ask before you touch someone, even if they were OK with something like a hug in the past.
  • Remind family and friends of what a touch-sensitive loved one tends to find acceptable touch before you gather.
  • Provide scripts for addressing unwanted touch from children, pets, and adults. For instance, telling a child, “I really don’t want you climbing on my lap, but you can sit next to me on the couch and show me your game.” Communicating to a pet owner, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by Cooper trying to put her head in my space. Can you keep her behind the dog gate?”, can help mitigate the overwhelming touch before it happens. 
  • Make sure that there are a few supporters around at times to gently redirect unwelcome touch and serve as a shield. These family members and friends can step in as needed to respectfully uphold boundaries, such as sitting between your loved one and a reaching child or holding an animal to keep it from jumping on them. 
  • Prepare an escape plan for an individual, locating a space they feel safe if they are feeling their boundaries are being crossed, where they can decompress and ask for help.

Conclusion

Creating a supportive holiday environment involves understanding and respecting the sensory needs of loved ones. By providing sensory supports and clear communication about boundaries, you can help them navigate the holiday season with greater comfort and ease. Seeking feedback from their primary caregivers and your loved one and giving them a sense of agency in determining their sensory supports ensures their needs are met effectively. With careful planning and empathy, we can ensure that everyone, regardless of their sensory preferences, can enjoy the holidays and create cherished memories together. 

Additional Information: