Tag: travel

Creating Comfortable Holiday Spaces

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Navigating social interactions can be particularly challenging for individuals with disabilities, especially during the holiday season when gatherings are frequent and often overwhelming. While some people enjoy socializing, they may prefer calm and predictable environments where they can engage in structured activities. Understanding their unique needs and preferences is crucial for creating a supportive and inclusive atmosphere that allows them to participate comfortably and meaningfully.  

A Brief Overview  

  • This is part of a series on the topic of creating joyful holidays for family members, which began in My Family’s Sensory and Adaptive Needs for the Holidays and continues in Sensory-Friendly Holiday Tips  and Giving the Gift of Sensory-Regulation; Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All.
  • Social interactions can be particularly challenging during the holiday season due to frequent and overwhelming gatherings.  
  • People with disabilities who enjoy socializing may prefer calm, predictable settings.  
  • Structured social activities provide a comfortable way for individuals to engage with others, as they offer clear rules and a shared experience.  
  • Family gatherings can be stressful due to interactions with relatives they don’t see often, leading to feelings of overwhelm.  
  • It’s crucial to respect the boundaries of individuals with disabilities or health care needs, allowing them to make their own choices about social interactions and providing opportunities for breaks to avoid overstimulation.  
  • Understanding and respecting social preferences and boundaries, especially during the holiday season, helps ensure people feel safe, respected, and included.  

Comfort In Calm Familiarity

People with disabilities or special health care needs who enjoy socializing may prefer calm, predictable gatherings. They might like sitting with a friend and playing video games, quietly working on a puzzle together, or playing board games. When faced with a loud, busy family gathering, individuals may withdraw or seek out one person they enjoy chatting with -someone who genuinely respects and understands their accommodation needs, and with whom they can happily spend time with. This person feels safe to them. However, it’s important to recognize that their safe person might need a break too, so having multiple people that they feel safe with can be beneficial.  

Incorporating Structured Activities

For many individuals, having structured social activities like board games or group video games can provide a comfortable way to engage with others. Social rules and nuances can often be confusing, making unstructured mingling feel overwhelming and unmanageable. Structured activities offer a more supportive environment for social interaction with the rules clearly identified and a shared experience to drive conversation. Baking together, wrapping presents, and completing holiday crafts are all shared experiences that have clear instructions and goals. These activities not only make socializing more manageable but also add a festive touch to holiday gatherings.  

Overstimulation With Unfamiliar Relatives

Even meeting with beloved family members can feel strange and stressful. Talking to relatives they don’t see often can be difficult for people as they may feel that they must work out how to talk and act around people that feel unfamiliar. This can be overwhelming since they have to understand and respond to different social cues and expectations that may not be easy or comfortable for them.  

To help ease this stress, consider preparing in advance by discussing who will be at the gathering and what to expect. Shared interests can be a great way to connect with others and make conversations more engaging. Tell or remind your loved one of interests they have in common with relatives they don’t see as often to help start conversations. Socializing can be challenging, so it’s important to be patient and provide support without pressure.  

Supporting Boundaries and Choice

Even with careful planning and maintaining traditions, the holiday season can still be overwhelming. Back-to-back events can be exhausting for anyone, but they can quickly become overstimulating for loved ones with disabilities, health care needs, and/or neurodivergence. Seeing new people or people they only see once a year, having to navigate complex social networks, and often trying to hide their neurodivergent traits to fit in can be very draining. While it is important to encourage your loved one to engage, it’s also critical to respect their boundaries and teach them how to have agency. Agency refers to their ability to make their own choices and decisions about social interactions, ensuring they feel empowered and in control. Allowing them to sit out some holiday parties for the sake of their own wellbeing can be a gift of emotional recharge, ensuring they don’t come out of the season completely exhausted.  

Conclusion

Recognizing and respecting the social preferences and boundaries of individuals with disabilities, health care needs, and/or neurodivergence is essential, especially during the busy holiday season. Providing structured activities and allowing breaks can help them manage the stress and overstimulation that often accompany large gatherings. This can include being aware of touch sensitivities, especially when consent to touch can’t be communicated or understood; preparation is critical. By fostering an environment of understanding and support, we can ensure that individuals feel safe, respected, and included, ultimately enhancing their social experiences and overall well-being. PAVE also has an article that gives more ideas when dealing with touch sensitivities, visit Sensory-Friendly Holiday Tips for more information.

Additional Information:

My Family’s Sensory and Adaptive Needs for the Holidays

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

The holidays are a fun and festive time that often includes lots of change in schedules, foods, bright lights, loud unexpected sounds, new people, and lots of heightened emotional situations (i.e. seeing Grandparents, presents, seeing Santa). All of this is often overwhelming and even disorienting, especially for those families or individuals who may have some challenges in navigating change or experience a disability or chronic health condition.

A Brief Overview 

  • This article shares ideas, tips, and resources around family-friendly tweaks that can be added to Holiday activities to reduce stress and overwhelm.
  • This is part of a series on the topic of creating joyful holidays for family members, which began in Sensory-Friendly Holiday Tips, and continues in Creating Comfortable Holiday Spaces and Giving the Gift of Sensory-Regulation; Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All.
  • How to plan for both the needs of your children with unique needs and siblings to encourage shared enjoyment.
  • How to use planning, clear communication, and providing a sense of control to create an inclusive holiday season. 
  • Understanding, supporting, and celebrating the unique needs of your family bring a sense of belonging and acceptance, allowing everyone to enjoy the festive spirit. 

Holidays and Families

People often see family get-togethers, new food, music, trips to see Santa, or new social situations as the joys of holidays, but for families who have children with a disability and those family members who experience life a little differently, these experiences can often be overwhelming and/or exhausting. This doesn’t mean they dislike the event or holidays; it just requires some preparation to make the season inclusive and enjoyable. 

It’s the age-old question… How to create an enjoyable experience for your child(ren) with a disability, their sibling(s), and still not exhaust yourself. Here are some tips that many families have found helpful:

  • Plan short outings and pack snacks (long activities are often overwhelming and tiring for everyone).
  • Bring headphones, fidgets, or handheld activities for kids with sensory needs and high overwhelm (it keeps them entertained while their siblings get to enjoy the holiday fun).
  • Have a person to be able to stay and to do active things with siblings, and someone to be able to take those who need to de-stress and wind down to their own space for quiet fun.
  • What are some home holiday things that mimic large activities (one of the Nutcrackers streamed on TV with popcorn and other treats, siblings dressed up as Santa and elves for pictures, building a pillow snow fort).
  • Sending family information ahead of time on sensory triggers and needs so that they understand if you need to leave early, don’t join in an activity, or ask to join in differently.

There is so much to do and enjoy during this time but navigating it takes thinking ahead and not trying to do everything.

What did you do as a family last year? What worked? What was most enjoyable? If you have older children, talking with your family before school gets out to plan and map out some special things will help with boredom. Give jobs to make the activities successful so that everyone helps make it inclusive, have the siblings talk about what they think will help, and make things comfortable and what will help. This makes it a family holiday that is not just the parents’ responsibility. Remembering to plan parent time off during the Holidays is an important self-care tool!

Travel

If travel is part of the Holiday plans, a more robust planning process is essential. Medications and an emergency medical information sheet, if your loved one has a chronic condition, can be downloaded and added to their luggage to tuck in with the medications. The linked sheet is from the F2F website care notebook page.  Having an extra 3-day emergency medication supply, if possible, is often recommended to give breathing room while doctors are contacted if there are travel delays. To support your loved one, consider planning travel itineraries that include ample downtime, familiar items for comfort, and clear, detailed schedules to reduce anxiety. Additionally, choosing quieter travel times and less crowded destinations can help create a more manageable experience. If there are food requirements, pack food that will make it through security and purchase beverages before getting on the plane. As mentioned above, having noise-canceling headphones, weighted blankets, games, and activities can also help reduce anxiety. 

Sensory Considerations

Sensory sensitivities can be a challenge for anyone whose body or brain is trying to process not only what is going on around them but also their own body’s challenges.  Age, length of time in an activity, anxiety, excitement, and how many systems in the body are impacted, all contribute to an individual’s capacity to handle the multiple layers of sensory input that come with Holiday activities. Knowing your child’s and family’s tolerance for those “layers” and what the stopping points are is essential to creating a holiday environment that minimizes sensory overload. This can include soft lighting, reduce loud noises, and provide sensory-friendly activities.

The holidays are just like any other time of change for your loved one. Take their unique sensory needs into account and what their routines are for medication, rest, and exercise. How the holiday adaptation will fit with your family’s rhythm and how your children usually interact. Taking the time to create buffer zones, adaptive spaces, creative personal activities, with spots of celebration and joy for all your family can take what could be stressful and overwhelming to manageable and memorable. To find other information and ideas on Holiday activities and adaptations, see the additional articles on the links below.

Additional Information

Sensory-Friendly Holiday Tips

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

 The holidays are full of sensory experiences. Flickering candles, holiday music, the aromas of food cooking, the fur on an unfamiliar dog, and the sounds of happy family members all provide sensory input. What is a source of joy for one person may be a cause for overwhelm to another. When being around a loved one with a disability, anyone can help manage these varying sensory experiences by planning ahead.

A Brief Overview 

  • This is part of a series on the topic of creating joyful holidays for family members, which began in My Family’s Sensory and Adaptive Needs for the Holidays, and continues in Creating Comfortable Holiday Spaces and Giving the Gift of Sensory-Regulation; Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All.
  • The holidays bring various sensory inputs that can be joyful for some but overwhelming for others. 
  • Plan for managing these sensory experiences with loved ones and their primary caregivers. 
  • Identify or create a calm space where the person can decompress and avoid or reduce overwhelm. 
  • Preferences for specific sensory supports should be discussed beforehand and regularly with the loved one. 
  • Recognize and normalize self-stimulatory behaviors, or “stims”, that do not cause physical harm to themselves or others as coping mechanisms for managing sensory input and stress. 
  • Plan for touch-sensitive individuals by setting boundaries, providing scripts for addressing unwanted touch, and having an escape plan. 
  • Foster an inclusive environment by understanding and respecting sensory needs, ensuring clear communication, and seeking feedback from loved ones. 

A Calm Space

Identifying or creating a space where someone is overwhelmed can take a break and still have fun eases the intensity and allows your loved one to decompress. The “veg-out room” usually creates itself, when people go there to relax and watch TV marathons while their stomachs settle after a big meal. By dimming the lights and keeping things quiet in this space, you can quickly and easily build a calming environment for overwhelmed or overstimulated family members to retreat, relax, and rejoin social activities when it is right for them. 

Sensory Systems and Preferences

To reduce the potential for being overwhelmed, your loved one may need to wear earbuds or headphones during social periods or other activities. Similarly, weighted clothing or objects (like blankets or stuffed toys) may provide a sense of comfort and security. Sensory supports are not one-size-fits-all, so talk with your loved one about their preferences. If you notice their preferences related to a specific sensory system, they may be interested in exploring other ways to meet their sensory needs at a later time. PAVE provides a downloadable introducing to The Sensory Systems and How to Meet Their Needs in the article, Giving the Gift of Sensory Regulation, Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All. Resist the urge to introduce new sensory supports without input from your loved one with a disability and/or health care need, especially during the holidays when there are already many unfamiliar experiences to navigate. 

Normalizing Self-Stimulation 

Many people with disabilities do specific repetitive behaviors to manage sensory input, reduce anxiety, or express themselves. These self-stimulatory behaviors, or “stims”, are ways they’ve learned intuitively to comfort themselves, cope in times of stress, and even express joy.  These “stims” can include rocking, humming, or fiddling with clothes.  Allowing your loved one to discuss and normalize non-harmful stimming helps to create a more inclusive environment. Thought-out responses can turn an angry retort into a teaching moment, such as, “Everyone has their own way of being and this is her way of pushing through her discomfort to spend this time with us. She is doing her best and we’re glad she’s here!” 

Touch Sensitivities

Unexpected touch can be very upsetting, especially those who are touch sensitive. The joy and excitement of the holidays can often make us forget that not everyone is comfortable with physical touch, including hugs. When consent to touch can’t be communicated or understood, preparation is critical. If your loved one is touch sensitive, there are some things you can do ahead of time to accommodate and support their needs: 

  • Ask before you touch someone, even if they were OK with something like a hug in the past.
  • Remind family and friends of what a touch-sensitive loved one tends to find acceptable touch before you gather.
  • Provide scripts for addressing unwanted touch from children, pets, and adults. For instance, telling a child, “I really don’t want you climbing on my lap, but you can sit next to me on the couch and show me your game.” Communicating to a pet owner, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by Cooper trying to put her head in my space. Can you keep her behind the dog gate?”, can help mitigate the overwhelming touch before it happens. 
  • Make sure that there are a few supporters around at times to gently redirect unwelcome touch and serve as a shield. These family members and friends can step in as needed to respectfully uphold boundaries, such as sitting between your loved one and a reaching child or holding an animal to keep it from jumping on them. 
  • Prepare an escape plan for an individual, locating a space they feel safe if they are feeling their boundaries are being crossed, where they can decompress and ask for help.

Conclusion

Creating a supportive holiday environment involves understanding and respecting the sensory needs of loved ones. By providing sensory supports and clear communication about boundaries, you can help them navigate the holiday season with greater comfort and ease. Seeking feedback from their primary caregivers and your loved one and giving them a sense of agency in determining their sensory supports ensures their needs are met effectively. With careful planning and empathy, we can ensure that everyone, regardless of their sensory preferences, can enjoy the holidays and create cherished memories together. 

Additional Information:

Holiday Survival Tips For Families with Special Healthcare Needs

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Every family experiences holidays and end-of-year transitions differently. This article provides a sampling of ideas for families with children (of any age) experiencing special healthcare needs or disability. If a child also experiences behavioral difficulties, you may wish to read Home for the Holidays: The Gift of Positive Behavior Support 

A Brief Overview 

Here are some quick takeaways: 

  • Keep to your everyday schedule and routine as much as possible to minimize medical and behavioral impacts. 
  • Add fun with home-based holiday activities and traditions tailored to your family’s needs or select family or group activities which work with your child’s medical needs. 
  • Plan and save surprises too: Mix up the activities so children can help with some planning and enjoy a few surprises. 
  • Plan for health and safety if travel is on the schedule. 
  • The article includes suggestions for parents and other family caregivers to help support you as a family caregiver during the busy holiday season. Includes ideas for parents in the “sandwich generation”.
  • Gratitude is a gift: Moments of thankfulness calm the mind. For additional stress-reducers, PAVE has a practical gift: Self-Care Videos for Families Series. We also offer short videos to help everyone find calm (Try Hot Chocolate Breath!): Mindfulness Video Series. 

Get Holiday Help

Parents and family members who care for an individual with special health care needs or a disability are already busier than most people. It’s very common for a primary caregiver, the person usually caring for a person with health needs or disability, to believe that all the extra planning for holiday time is their responsibility, too.

This season, use these reminders and tips to help yourself as a parent or other family caregiver to some holiday spirit:

Share your holiday wish list with extended family and friends. Here are some ideas:

  • Ask for time off from caregiving duties as a gift for the holidays (respite).  Can another family member, extended family member, or friend take over some caregiving tasks? Perhaps they could pay, or help you pay for a home care worker or a stay at a respite facility.
  • Can a family member or friend help with chores, household maintenance, holiday cleaning, shopping, decorating? Look at your household’s to-do list and just ask.
  • Childcare when school’s out: “You know, for Channukah this year, I’d love it if you could come over and play with the younger kids while I do XYZ”.
  • Gift certificates for relaxing /pampering activities are great too: spa time, for example!

Order in holiday-time meals or ask for the pre-holiday gift of donations of baked goods, meals you can freeze/reheat, or gift cards to food delivery services from restaurants or supermarkets.

Money: Make a holiday spending budget with your spouse or partner to reduce financial stress. Ask extended family members to agree on a dollar limit for gifts and/or set up a gift exchange where names are drawn.

Are you a “sandwich generation” caregiver, caring for both children and older family members with health or other conditions?  Carol Bradley Bursack, writing on Aging Care, shares this insight:

“The squeeze of generations and the countless needs of each leave little time for caregivers to think of their own needs. Members of the sandwich generation know this dilemma well. Prioritizing our own health and enjoyment winds up feeling like just another task, so we knock it to the bottom of the to-do list and keep on doing for everyone else…

Communicate with your loved ones. Even small children can understand—if they are told in a loving way—that your time is short or you have to cut corners because Grandma and other family members rely on you, too. Communicate the same thing to the elder(s) in your care. Helping the entire family understand that each person’s desires are important to you but that you have a lot on your plate can help keep their expectations more realistic. You’d be surprised how much a senior, even one who has dementia, can understand.”

Learn more about the difficult choices facing “sandwich generation” family caregivers in another article by Carol Bradley Bursack, A Story from the Sandwich Generation: Caring for Kids and Parents1

Decide Which Routines and Schedules Might Be “Holiday Flexible” 

“Many children with disabilities rely on schedules, either as a coping strategy or for medical reasons. It is critical to keep your child on schedule during the holidays as much as possible. This may mean leaving an event early or arriving later to accommodate tube feedings or respiratory treatments. It may mean putting your child to bed on time, even at Aunt Sally’s midnight party.” -Susan Agrawal, complexchild.org .  A “reason” for leaving an event might make it easier for a child to leave an event when others are staying. “It’s time for us to get the food ready for Santa’s reindeer” or “let’s head home for a special holiday treat” may help get everyone out the door!

If your family can accommodate a bit more flexibility, a “Holiday” sleep schedule with an extra hour of special family time before bed might add a fun holiday flavor. For others, sleeping in or staying in jammies longer than usual might create a relaxing holiday feel. Be sure to call out these relaxed rules as holiday specials so everyone understands they are temporary changes and part of the “break.” 

Keeping to a schedule and getting regular physical exercise and good sleep is important for everyone else in the family, too!

Set Expectations with Extended Family

No holiday is ever perfect, and unrealistic expectations can cause a celebration to sour. Communicating with relatives and friends can help: 

  • Make a “Gift Wish List” for your child with special healthcare needs to let relatives and friends know what gifts will be good for your child based on what they might need to avoid and what they can use and enjoy. Many large retailers (Target and Kohls, for example) carry lines of adaptive clothing and sensory products and toys. 
  • Ask for understanding and support from family and friends to reinforce positive messages and realistic expectations. Saying no might be important, so choose what works and toss the guilt if the family needs to pass on a tradition or an invitation. Or use the “No, but” strategy and offer an alternative such as a different time or activity, or a virtual get-together.

Travel 

For families choosing to travel, bags with medication and equipment still need to include masks, hand sanitizer, and sanitizing wipes. Even with mask mandates mostly a thing of the past, it’s sensible to have these on hand for crowded airports and planes and visiting more vulnerable, elderly relatives.  

If plans include planes and trains, be sure to let agents and attendants know about a family member’s special accommodation needs.  

  • Washington travelers can make preflight preparations from Sea-Tac Airport by sending an email to the Sea-Tac Airport customer service.  
  • The phone number for the Spokane Airport Administrative Offices: (509) 455-6455. Amtrak provides a range of Accessible Travel Services. 
  • TSA Cares is designed to aid travelers with disabilities with TSA screening procedures. Call them at 855-787-2227 (8 AM to 11 PM Eastern Time M-F, and 9 AM-8 PM Eastern weekends and holidays). 

Sugary treats might impact planning for children with diabetes: An insulin pump might help during the temporary splurges so a child can enjoy the holiday without feeling too different or overwhelmed. 

  • Visions of sugar plums might need a different flavor for children with specific allergies or food sensitivities. Being prepared with substitutions may prevent a child from feeling left out. If someone else is doing the cooking, be sure to share about any severe allergies to make sure utensils and mixing containers do not get cross-contaminated. 

Add Fun 

ASK your family-what do they like best about a holiday? (Christmas, Channukah, Kwanzaa, Diwali, Eid al-Fitr, etc.) Keep these wishes in mind when you select and plan for holiday activities. This may help you to keep your to-do list focused on what your family looks forward to, or would like to change, rather than an overwhelming set of holiday “to-dos”.

Give the gift of Giving. Every person deserves the chance to be of help to others and make them feel loved. Small children, children with special health conditions, children of any age with intellectual disabilities, children with developmental disabilities can participate in the act of giving holiday gifts. It’s a great way to boost a person’s capabilities and sense of belonging.

Making home-made holiday cards, simple handcrafted items, baked goods, or purchased inexpensive items from a dollar store can be great holiday family activities or a chance to spend one-to-one time with an individual child.

Families can set aside time for, or add on to ordinary routines, time for reading special holiday stories, playing games, or watching silly holiday movies. Laughter is therapeutic!

Understanding your child’s healthcare needs and vulnerabilities can help with deciding which activities are right for your family. It’s also important to think about which activities will help you, the caregiving parent or family member, recharge—and which ones to prioritize in terms of time and energy.

  • Drive-through light shows, streaming concerts, theater, and holiday events are options in some areas that won’t expose a medically vulnerable child to other people’s germs. 
  • If weather and your family’s needs permit, outdoor holiday activities with groups of people are less likely to spread illness, as we all learned during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Think of tree lightings, caroling, snow-sculpture or snowman-making events, and of course winter sports, if appropriate, for your child and family. 
  • One tradition that has always been virtual is the NORAD Santa tracker, which keeps tabs on Santa’s travel on Christmas Eve and has kid-centered games and songs. 

Finding the “just-right” amount of holiday celebrating can be tricky, so keep the Three Bears/Goldilocks principle in mind. For children who understand this theme, families can use the classic story to talk about how everyone makes choices about what is the “just right” amount of celebrating, eating, screen time, sleeping. 

Plan and Save Surprises Too 

A theme for the year can add a new flavor to family traditions. Here are some suggested themes: 

  • How I celebrated when I was a kid. 
  • Christmas 1821, 1721, etc. 
  • Holiday food, decorations, stories, music, etc. from another culture. 

The family can research the theme together to come up with ideas and activities. A theme night might include a chance for each family member to share something or lead an activity. On story night, each person might share a favorite holiday memory or a made-up story. If extended family want to take part, a video conference might be an added element to the evening. 

Adults can set aside a few ideas to save for in-the-moment surprises to sprinkle in. A prize, special treat, well-told joke, customized family game, or a surprise “guest” on the phone are a few ideas to plan out in advance.

Gratitude is a Gift 

  Gratitude helps the mind escape from stress-thinking and move toward feelings of peacefulness and grace. Taking a few moments to mindfully reflect on something that brings joy, beauty, love, sweetness—anything that feels positive—can create a sense of ease.

For additional stress-reducers, PAVE provides a practical gift: Self-Care Videos for Families Series. We also offer short videos to help everyone find calm (Try Hot Chocolate Breath!): Mindfulness Video Series. 

Susan Agrawal, writing on complexchild.org, reminds us “No holiday is ever going to turn out like you want it to, even if you have the most perfect storybook family in existence. Don’t expect perfection or anything even close to perfection. For some families, getting through the holidays may be as much as you can expect. For other families, changing holiday traditions may make the season not feel the same. That’s OK. Instead, try to find the blessings in the season, whether that means seeing family members or celebrating your child’s inch stones.”  

Additional Holiday Resources 

PAVE: This is part of a series on the topic of creating joyful holidays for everyone:

Aging Care:

Complex Child: