A Sibling Perspective

When I was younger I never noticed anything wrong with my brother.

Sure, he was very hyper at times and I do remember taking him to speech therapy with my mom but nothing crossed my mind. I never realized my brother was different. One day at school, I was about 9 and my brother was 12, we were waiting in line outside of the lunchroom to go inside and eat breakfast. Nothing seemed wrong or out of the ordinary, until a group of kids in my brother’s grade walked over to us. They all surrounded us. Suddenly, they looked at my brother and the leader of the pack suddenly called him a “creep”. The group around us laughed. The same boy then started to call my brother other crude names. My brother looked puzzled and just kept saying “stop” but no one listened.

I then had enough of this name calling game. I stepped in front of my brother and said, “Stop calling him those names. He is not what any of you say at all. Leave my brother alone.” After I said that I wished I hadn’t, but somehow, I knew what I was saying was right. Who am I? I was just a 9-year-old little girl. I had no knowledge of people with disabilities at all. I didn’t even know what “creep” or any of those other words meant, I just had that gut feeling in my heart that something wasn’t right and I knew I had to stick up for my brother at that very moment.

My brother picks on me like a normal brother is supposed to do, and sometimes he takes it way too far. Occasionally I do reply, not very nicely, but after I say something back I feel bad. I promise myself I will try harder next time to remember that yes, he does seem ok at times but he still has autism. I love my brother. I wouldn’t ask for any other sibling in my life. He has helped me and supported me at times too. He always knows when something is wrong and he always asks if I am ok.

So, what’s my perspective on having a sibling with a disability? Well, it’s not very simple you see, sometimes I do wish he was normal and understood everything correctly, but then again, I don’t. Having a brother with autism has taught me many things. No one is perfect, normal is fiction, don’t ever underestimate someone’s abilities, be a leader not a follower, learn from mistakes, and the most gifted are the least expected. My brother is actually a very talented person. I like to think of him as a sculptor. I remember when he was little he would make little men with weapons and tanks out of silly putty, gum wrappers, and Nerds boxes. Every once in a while, I still give him my extra Nerds boxes or gum wrappers because I know he really likes making new little men. He’s also very good at voice impressions; he makes me laugh every time he does one.

My brother makes me laugh in general.  Yes, it is hard to explain to everyone how my life with a sibling with a disability is but let me tell you something, he is one of those people that you could not forget. My brother is not normal but neither am I. I am not afraid anymore of being me, and yes, I am a very weird person but hey, at least I am me and so is my brother. I look up to my brother because he’s not afraid of being himself.