The holidays are full of sensory experiences. Flickering candles, holiday music, the aromas of food cooking, the fur on an unfamiliar dog, and the sounds of happy family members all provide sensory input. What is a source of joy for one person may be a cause for overwhelm to another. When being around a loved one with a disability, anyone can help manage these varying sensory experiences by planning ahead.
A Brief Overview
- This is part of a series on the topic of creating joyful holidays for family members, which began in My Family’s Sensory and Adaptive Needs for the Holidays, and continues in Creating Comfortable Holiday Spaces and Giving the Gift of Sensory-Regulation; Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All.
- The holidays bring various sensory inputs that can be joyful for some but overwhelming for others.
- Plan for managing these sensory experiences with loved ones and their primary caregivers.
- Identify or create a calm space where the person can decompress and avoid or reduce overwhelm.
- Preferences for specific sensory supports should be discussed beforehand and regularly with the loved one.
- Recognize and normalize self-stimulatory behaviors, or “stims”, that do not cause physical harm to themselves or others as coping mechanisms for managing sensory input and stress.
- Plan for touch-sensitive individuals by setting boundaries, providing scripts for addressing unwanted touch, and having an escape plan.
- Foster an inclusive environment by understanding and respecting sensory needs, ensuring clear communication, and seeking feedback from loved ones.
A Calm Space
Identifying or creating a space where someone is overwhelmed can take a break and still have fun eases the intensity and allows your loved one to decompress. The “veg-out room” usually creates itself, when people go there to relax and watch TV marathons while their stomachs settle after a big meal. By dimming the lights and keeping things quiet in this space, you can quickly and easily build a calming environment for overwhelmed or overstimulated family members to retreat, relax, and rejoin social activities when it is right for them.
Sensory Systems and Preferences
To reduce the potential for being overwhelmed, your loved one may need to wear earbuds or headphones during social periods or other activities. Similarly, weighted clothing or objects (like blankets or stuffed toys) may provide a sense of comfort and security. Sensory supports are not one-size-fits-all, so talk with your loved one about their preferences. If you notice their preferences related to a specific sensory system, they may be interested in exploring other ways to meet their sensory needs at a later time. PAVE provides a downloadable introducing to The Sensory Systems and How to Meet Their Needs in the article, Giving the Gift of Sensory Regulation, Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All. Resist the urge to introduce new sensory supports without input from your loved one with a disability and/or health care need, especially during the holidays when there are already many unfamiliar experiences to navigate.
Normalizing Self-Stimulation
Many people with disabilities do specific repetitive behaviors to manage sensory input, reduce anxiety, or express themselves. These self-stimulatory behaviors, or “stims”, are ways they’ve learned intuitively to comfort themselves, cope in times of stress, and even express joy. These “stims” can include rocking, humming, or fiddling with clothes. Allowing your loved one to discuss and normalize non-harmful stimming helps to create a more inclusive environment. Thought-out responses can turn an angry retort into a teaching moment, such as, “Everyone has their own way of being and this is her way of pushing through her discomfort to spend this time with us. She is doing her best and we’re glad she’s here!”
Touch Sensitivities
Unexpected touch can be very upsetting, especially those who are touch sensitive. The joy and excitement of the holidays can often make us forget that not everyone is comfortable with physical touch, including hugs. When consent to touch can’t be communicated or understood, preparation is critical. If your loved one is touch sensitive, there are some things you can do ahead of time to accommodate and support their needs:
- Ask before you touch someone, even if they were OK with something like a hug in the past.
- Remind family and friends of what a touch-sensitive loved one tends to find acceptable touch before you gather.
- Provide scripts for addressing unwanted touch from children, pets, and adults. For instance, telling a child, “I really don’t want you climbing on my lap, but you can sit next to me on the couch and show me your game.” Communicating to a pet owner, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by Cooper trying to put her head in my space. Can you keep her behind the dog gate?”, can help mitigate the overwhelming touch before it happens.
- Make sure that there are a few supporters around at times to gently redirect unwelcome touch and serve as a shield. These family members and friends can step in as needed to respectfully uphold boundaries, such as sitting between your loved one and a reaching child or holding an animal to keep it from jumping on them.
- Prepare an escape plan for an individual, locating a space they feel safe if they are feeling their boundaries are being crossed, where they can decompress and ask for help.
Conclusion
Creating a supportive holiday environment involves understanding and respecting the sensory needs of loved ones. By providing sensory supports and clear communication about boundaries, you can help them navigate the holiday season with greater comfort and ease. Seeking feedback from their primary caregivers and your loved one and giving them a sense of agency in determining their sensory supports ensures their needs are met effectively. With careful planning and empathy, we can ensure that everyone, regardless of their sensory preferences, can enjoy the holidays and create cherished memories together.