Tag: neurodivergent

Defining your Social Media Game Plan: #Goals

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Thinking about how you use social media and screens can help you make better choices for your mind, body, and relationships. When you take time to notice how you feel, what you see, and how much time you spend online, you can stay in control instead of letting screens take over. Talking with trusted adults and setting goals for your screen time can help you stay safe, feel better, and enjoy the good parts of being online. 

Think about Yourself

Your social media accounts are all about you! Think about why you are using social media or other screens. Is your goal to talk to friends, find cool videos, or learn something new? Thinking about your goals and what you like helps you control how you use social media, instead of letting it control you. To better understand your goals, ask yourself:

  • What is your goal when you open an app or go online?
  • Did you reach your goal, so you can set it down now?
  • Are you in control of how you use it, or does it feel like it controls you?

Think about What You See

Consider what you see and read online. What purpose does this have for you? Is it something helpful and interesting, or is it making you feel bad? Sometimes you might see things that are mean or make you feel sad, anxious, or even angry. If you notice that what you’re seeing online is often upsetting or distracting you from important things, maybe it’s time to look for content that helps you feel better. You can control some of what you see online by only following pages that make you feel good, and by unfollowing or muting accounts that post things that upset you or make you feel bad about yourself.

Think about what you see online and ask yourself:

  • What kinds of things do you usually look at online?
  • What purpose does this content have for you?
  • If some content makes you feel bad, are there other things you could look at online that might help you feel better or learn something new?

Think about How You Feel

Think about how you feel and how you use screens when you’re feeling strong emotions. Sometimes we use phones or games to escape negative feelings, but there are other ways to calm down, like talking to people you trust, taking a walk, or making art.

When thinking about how social media makes you feel, ask yourself:

  • How does using social media make you feel?
  • Does what you see online make you feel good?
  • When you’re feeling sad, bored, or stressed, do you often use screens or social media to feel better?
  • Are there other ways you can help yourself feel calm that don’t involve a screen?

Think about What Screens Get In The Way Of

Screens shouldn’t stop you from doing homework, seeing friends in person, getting enough sleep, or doing other things. Think about how long you are going to use an app or website and set a clear time limit for yourself. That way, you can reach that time and be able to put your phone down because you planned to stop. To help you set a time limit that works for you, ask yourself:

  • How long are you planning to use social media or a screen right now?
  • Did you set a clear time to stop using it?
  • Does using screens stop you from doing other important things, like homework, spending time with family or friends in person, or getting enough sleep?

Think about Relationships

You can talk with a friend or trusted adult about your online life and how you are feeling about it. By sharing about how you feel about friends online and in real life, you can better understand what purpose connecting online has for you. Talking helps you learn how to use screens safely.

When you think about your friends and family, ask yourself:

  • Do you feel comfortable talking to a parent or trusted adult about your online life?
  • If something online made you feel uncomfortable or upset, would you feel okay talking to someone about it?
  • How do you feel about your friendships online compared to your friendships in real life?
  • What purpose does connecting online have for you in your friendships?

Remember, social media should be something that adds to your life—not something that takes away from it.


Identify Your Five

One way to stay safe online is by using the “Rule of 5,” which means having five trusted people you can talk to when something online feels wrong or confusing. These questions can help you identify five people you can trust:

  • Who do I feel safe talking to when something is bothering me?
  • Who listens to me without judging or getting angry?
  • Who has helped me solve a problem before?
  • Who would I go to if I saw something online that made me feel scared or confused?
  • Who do I trust to keep me safe and give good advice?
  • Who do I feel comfortable being honest with, even if I made a mistake?
  • Who do I know that cares about me and wants the best for me?
  • Who could I call or message quickly if I needed help right away?

Once you’ve identified five people, write them down or save their contact info in a safe place.

Final Thoughts

Taking control of your social media use starts with understanding your goals, feelings, and habits. By reflecting on how, why, and when you use screens, you can make choices that support your well-being and help you stay safe online. Whether you’re setting time limits, curating your feed, or reaching out to trusted people, every small step counts. Keep checking in with yourself, stay curious, and remember—you have the power to shape your digital world in a way that works for you.

Learn More

This self-reflection guide was developed as a practical tool to help implement the strategies outlined in Level Up Your Social Media Game: Digital Safety Tips for Youth and Young Adults with Disabilities.  It is designed to encourage thoughtful engagement with the digital safety concepts presented in that article, supporting users in applying them to their own online experiences.

Family caregivers and professionals can learn how to support kids’ health and emotional well-being by helping them use social media safely. A great place to start is the American Academy of Pediatrics’ “5 Cs of Media Use” guides.

Level Up Your Social Media Game: Digital Safety Tips for Youth and Young Adults with Disabilities

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Social media has both benefits and disadvantages. To use social media safely and effectively, it’s important to practice digital safety and self-awareness. This guide teaches tips and tools to help you make smart choices and stay in control online.

Brief Overview

  • Social media helps people with disabilities connect, express themselves, and find support—but it also comes with risks that users need to understand.
  • A trusted adult is someone you know in real life who cares about your safety and can help you make good choices.
  • Not everyone online is who they say they are.
  • People may act mean online or post things just to get attention.
  • Be careful what you share and talk to someone you trust if something feels wrong.
  • Anything you post online can be copied and shared. Think before you post, especially if someone is pressuring you to share something quickly.
  • Not everything online is true. Learn how to check facts and find trusted websites so you can tell what’s real and what’s not.
  • Asking for help is smart and keeps you safe.

Introduction

Social media is everywhere and isn’t going away. For people with disabilities, it opens up new ways to connect, communicate, and participate in conversations that might otherwise be difficult.  It can help you feel included and connected. It can be a powerful tool for inclusion and accessibility.

However, while social media offers many good things, it also comes with risks that everyone, especially youth and young adults, need to know about.

Knowing Who to Trust

One of the most important ways to stay safe is by knowing who you can trust, especially when talking to people online. Not everyone you meet online is the same as the people you know in real life. A trusted adult is someone you know in real life who truly cares about your safety and wants to help you make good choices. This could be a parent, teacher, school counselor, coach, or another grown-up you feel safe talking to. They listen to you, respect your feelings, and are there to help you when something is wrong. They are someone you can count on in real life. This is very different from a social media “friend” or “follower” who might be someone you’ve never met in person. Just because someone is nice to you online doesn’t mean they are safe or honest. People online might pretend to be someone they are not, like acting like they are your age to try and gain your trust. This can be part of a trick to try and get your personal information or pictures. Remember, a trusted adult is someone you can rely on for help and safety in the real world, not just someone who sends you messages online.

The Evolving Purpose of Social Media

Social media began as a way for people to connect, talk, and share things with each other. It can be a fun place where kids connect with friends, explore their interests, and learn new things. It can also help kids feel supported and included, especially those with disabilities.

Social media apps and websites are free to use, which makes them easy for lots of people to join. Even though you don’t pay money to use them, social media companies still make money—by showing you ads. The longer you stay on the app, the more ads you see, and that helps the company earn more. In other words, the social media companies are making money from your time and attention. That’s why it’s important to remember that you’re in control of how much time you spend online. When you use social media in a smart way, it can be fun and helpful—just make sure it’s working for you, not the other way around.

Social Media Risks and How to Stay Safe Online

But social media isn’t always safe. Some people feel like they can say mean things online because they think no one will find out who they are. Since they can’t see your face or how you feel, they might not realize how much they’re hurting you—and that makes them less likely to stop. Also, when kids see others being mean online, they might think it’s okay to join in. And sometimes, trying to get likes, shares, or views can lead kids to post things that hurt someone else, even if they didn’t mean to. That’s why it’s important to learn about these risks and talk with friends and family about how to stay safe and kind online.

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is when people are mean to you online by sending hurtful messages or making unkind posts. Sharing or forwarding mean content that someone else wrote can is also a form of cyberbullying. Studies show that youth with disabilities are more likely than other kids their age to be cyberbullied.

If someone is being mean to you online, you don’t have to handle it by yourself. Talk to an adult you trust, like a parent, teacher, or school counselor. They can help you figure out what to do next. STOP.THINK.CONNECT, a website that specializes in online safety and cybersecurity awareness, says it’s usually best not to talk back to the bully. Instead, save a screenshot or copy of what they said and show it to your trusted adult. That way, they can better understand how to help you. You should also learn how to block or report the person on the app or website you’re using. Most sites have tools to help you stay safe.

Social Engineering and Trickery

Sometimes, people use social media to trick others into giving away personal information—this is called social engineering. It can happen when someone pretends to be your friend, asks you to click a link, or says something that makes you feel scared or rushed. They might try to get your passwords, address, or other private details. This can be especially confusing if you have trouble telling when someone is being dishonest. That’s why it’s important to be careful about what you share online and to talk to a trusted adult if something doesn’t feel right or makes you uncomfortable.

You have the right to say “No” if someone—even someone you know—makes you feel uncomfortable online. It’s okay to stop talking to them or to question what they’re saying. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts and talk to a friend or trusted adult. Some people online may pretend to be kids or teens when they are actually adults with harmful intentions. That’s why it’s important to be careful about who you talk to and what you share in conversations. You don’t have to handle anything alone—there are people who care about you and want to help.

Anything you share online or through your phone—pictures, posts, texts, comments, everything!—can be copied and shared. Once you post or send something, it might be used in ways you didn’t expect or want. Before you share anything, ask yourself if it includes private information or something you wouldn’t want everyone to see. If someone is pressuring you to send something quickly, that’s a red flag. Take a moment to think, and don’t let anyone rush you. Talk to a trusted adult if you’re unsure. Being smart about what you post helps protect your privacy and keeps you safe.

Harmful Content

Social media can sometimes show things that make people feel bad, unsafe, or want to do things that aren’t healthy. This is called harmful content. You might see pictures or videos that make you feel bad about your body or tell you to do unhealthy things, like not eating enough. This kind of content can hurt your self-esteem and mental health. Many of the photos and videos online are edited or only show the best parts of someone’s life, not the full picture. These unrealistic expectations can make people feel like they have to be perfect all the time, which isn’t fair or healthy. Everyone has good days and bad days, but social media often hides the hard parts.

To protect yourself, remember that it’s okay to be yourself and that nobody is perfect. Try to follow people who are honest and positive, and take breaks from social media when you need to. If something online makes you feel bad, talk to a friend or trusted adult.

Privacy

When you share personal information online—like your full name, address, phone number, or passwords—it can be used in ways you don’t expect. That’s why it’s important to protect your privacy by being careful about what you share and who can see it. Some companies collect your data to show you ads or sell your information, and strangers online might try to trick you into giving away private details. To protect yourself, don’t share private details online, especially with people you don’t know.

When playing games or talking with people you don’t know online, you can use game names and avatars to protect your privacy. Often, online game websites and apps will help you to create a random name that doesn’t require any personal information.

Use strong passwords and keep them secret. You can also check your privacy settings on apps to control who sees your posts.  The National Cybersecurity Alliance (StaySafeOnline.org) provides a list of links to the official privacy settings pages for popular websites and mobile apps, including major social media sites, and a guide to creating and using strong passwords.

Misinformation and Digital Literacy

Not everything you see online is true. Sometimes, people post things that are made up or not based on real facts. This is called misinformation. It can spread quickly on social media because the internet often cares more about what gets attention than what is true. It’s important to check if something is true before you believe it or share it. You can do this by looking it up on trusted websites or asking an adult to help you. 

Learning how to tell the difference between real and fake information online is called digital literacy, and it helps you stay smart and safe online. A big part of being digitally literate is knowing where to find information you can trust. Websites from certain places are often trusted sources. These kinds of websites are generally considered places that share reliable facts and safety tips backed by research:

  • Websites that end with .gov usually belong to the U.S. government, like places that share safety tips or resources.
  • Websites ending with .ed or .edu are often connected to educational organizations or government education departments.
  • Websites ending with .mil are for the U.S. military.

Looking for these endings can be a helpful way to find information you can trust. It’s a good idea to stay current and check trusted websites for the latest information.

Scams

 Scams are tricks people use to try to steal your money or personal information. Scammers might pretend to be someone you know, like a friend or family member, or even act like they’re from your bank or a company you trust. They might send you messages asking for your password, bank info, or to send them money.

If something feels weird or too good to be true, it probably is. One way to stay safe is to check with a trusted adult that you know in person—before you respond.

Rule of Five

One way to stay safe online is by using the “Rule of 5,” which means having five trusted people you can talk to when something online feels wrong or confusing. These people could be parents, teachers, counselors, or other adults who care about you and want to help. If you get a message or see something that makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s always okay to stop and check with one of your five trusted people before you respond. Even if you feel embarrassed or worried, asking for help is the smart thing to do. Your safety matters more than keeping a secret or being afraid of losing your phone. Trusted adults are there to support you, not to get you in trouble.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you identify five people you can trust:

  • Who do I feel safe talking to when something is bothering me?
  • Who listens to me without judging or getting angry?
  • Who has helped me solve a problem before?
  • Who would I go to if I saw something online that made me feel scared or confused?
  • Who do I trust to keep me safe and give good advice?
  • Who do I feel comfortable being honest with, even if I made a mistake?
  • Who do I know that cares about me and wants the best for me?
  • Who could I call or message quickly if I needed help right away?

Once you’ve identified five people, write them down or save their contact info in a safe place.

Final Thoughts

Social media is a tool, and like all tools there are right ways and wrong ways of using it. Social media should help you—not control you. When you know how to stay safe, set limits, and ask for help when something feels wrong, you can enjoy the fun parts of being online. Always try to be kind and respectful, just like you would be in person. With the right tools and support, you can find ways to make social media work for you, not the other way around.

Learn More

Check out the related article, Defining your Social Media Game Plan: #Goals, for self-reflection questions to help children, youth, and young adults identify their goals for social media.

Creating Joyful and Inclusive Holidays: Comfortable Social Spaces for Neurodivergent Individuals During the Holidays 

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

A Brief Overview 

  • Social interactions can be particularly challenging during the holiday season due to frequent and overwhelming gatherings. 
  • Neurodivergent individuals who enjoy socializing may prefer calm, predictable settings. 
  • Structured social activities provide a comfortable way for neurodivergent individuals to engage with others, as they offer clear rules and a shared experience. 
  • Family gatherings can be stressful due to interactions with relatives they don’t see often, leading to feelings of overwhelm. 
  • It’s crucial to respect the boundaries of neurodivergent individuals, allowing them to make their own choices about social interactions and providing opportunities for breaks to avoid overstimulation. 
  • Understanding and respecting their social preferences and boundaries, especially during the holiday season, helps ensure neurodivergent individuals feel safe, respected, and included. 

Full Article 

Navigating social interactions can be particularly challenging for neurodivergent individuals, especially during the holiday season when gatherings are frequent and often overwhelming. While some neurodivergent people enjoy socializing, they may prefer calm and predictable environments where they can engage in structured activities. Understanding their unique needs and preferences is crucial for creating a supportive and inclusive atmosphere that allows them to participate comfortably and meaningfully. 

Comfort in calm familiarity 

Neurodivergent people who enjoy socializing may prefer calm, predictable gatherings. They might like sitting with a friend to play video games, quietly working on a puzzle together, or playing board games. When faced with a loud, busy family gathering, neurodivergent individuals may withdraw or seek out one person they enjoy chatting with—someone who genuinely respects and understands their accommodation needs, and with whom they can happily spend time discussing a single subject. This person feels safe to them. However, it’s important to recognize that their safe person might need a break too, so having multiple people that they feel safe with can be beneficial. 

Incorporating structured activities 

For neurodivergent individuals, having structured social activities like board games or group video games can provide a comfortable way to engage with others. Social rules and nuances can often be confusing, making unstructured mingling feel overwhelming and unmanageable. Structured activities offer a more supportive environment for social interaction with the rules clearly identified and a shared experience to drive conversation. Baking together, wrapping presents, and completing holiday crafts are all shared experiences that have clear instructions and goals. These activities not only make socializing more manageable but also add a festive and inclusive touch to holiday gatherings. 

Overstimulation with unfamiliar relatives 

Even family gatherings can feel strange and stressful. Talking to relatives they don’t see often can be tough for your loved one as they work out how to talk and act around people that feel unfamiliar, even if they are family. This can be overwhelming since they have to understand and respond to different social cues and expectations that might not be easy or comfortable for them. 

To help ease this stress, consider preparing your loved one in advance by discussing who will be at the gathering and what to expect. Shared interests can be a great way to connect with others and make conversations more engaging. Tell or remind the neurodivergent individual of interests they have in common with relatives they don’t see as often to help start conversations. Socializing can be challenging, so it’s important to be patient and provide support without pressure. 

Supporting boundaries and choice 

Even with careful planning and maintaining traditions, the holiday season can still be overwhelming. Back-to-back events can be exhausting for anyone, but they can quickly become overstimulating for neurodivergent individuals. Seeing new people or people they only see once a year, having to navigate complex social hierarchies, and often trying to hide their neurodivergent traits to fit in can be very draining. While it is important to encourage your neurodivergent loved one to engage, it’s also critical to respect their boundaries and teach them how to have agency. Agency refers to their ability to make their own choices and decisions about social interactions, ensuring they feel empowered and in control. Allowing them to sit out some holiday parties for the sake of their own wellbeing can be a gift of emotional recharge, ensuring they don’t come out of the season completely exhausted. 

Conclusion 

Recognizing and respecting the social preferences and boundaries of neurodivergent individuals is essential, especially during the busy holiday season. Providing structured activities and allowing for breaks can help them manage the stress and overstimulation that often accompany large gatherings. By fostering an environment of understanding and support, we can ensure that neurodivergent individuals feel safe, respected, and included, ultimately enhancing their social experiences and overall well-being. 

Learn More about Creating Joyful and Inclusive Holidays 

This is part of a four-part series on the topic of creating joyful and inclusive holidays for neurodivergent family members, which began with Supporting a Neurodivergent Family Member During the Holidays. Meeting Neurodivergent Needs While Traveling provides tips and strategies to support neurodivergent individuals during travel to minimize stress. Learn Sensory-Friendly Tips for Neurodivergent Loved Ones to ensure they can enjoy the festivities and participate in making memories. Finally, Comfortable Social Spaces for Neurodivergent Individuals During the Holidays provides strategies for managing stress and overstimulation in social situations. 

Additional information: 

Creating Joyful and Inclusive Holidays: Sensory-Friendly Tips for Neurodivergent Loved Ones

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

A Brief Overview

  • This is part of a four-part series on the topic of creating joyful and inclusive holidays for neurodivergent family members, which began in Supporting a Neurodivergent Family Member During the Holidays and continues in Meeting Neurodivergent Needs While Traveling and Comfortable Social Spaces for Neurodivergent Individuals During the Holidays.
  • The holidays bring various sensory inputs that can be joyful for some but overwhelming for others.
  • It’s important to plan for managing these sensory experiences to help neurodivergent loved ones.
  • Identify or create a calm space where the neurodivergent person can decompress and avoid or reduce overwhelm.
  • Preferences for specific sensory supports should be discussed with the neurodivergent individual.
  • Recognize and normalize self-stimulatory behaviors, or “stims”, that do not cause physical harm to themselves or others as coping mechanisms for managing sensory input and stress.
  • Plan for touch-sensitive individuals by setting boundaries, providing scripts for addressing unwanted touch, and having an escape plan.
  • Foster an inclusive environment by understanding and respecting sensory needs, ensuring clear communication, and seeking feedback from neurodivergent loved ones.

Full Article

The holidays are full of sensory experiences. Flickering candles, holiday music, the aromas of food cooking, the fur on an unfamiliar dog, and the sounds of rambunctiously happy family members all provide sensory input. What is a source of joy for one person may be a cause for overwhelm to another. To help manage these varying sensory experiences, it’s important to plan ahead.

A calm space

Identifying or creating a space where to take a break and still have fun eases the intensity and allows your loved one to decompress. The “veg-out room” usually creates itself, when people go there to relax and watch TV marathons while their stomachs settle after a big meal. By dimming the lights and keeping things quiet in this space, you can quickly and easily build a calming environment for neurodivergent family members to retreat, relax, and rejoin social activities when it is right for them.

Sensory systems and preferences

To reduce the potential for being overwhelmed, your loved one may need to wear earbuds or headphones during social periods or other activities. Similarly, weighted clothing or objects (like blankets or stuffed toys) may provide a sense of comfort and security. Sensory supports are not one-size-fits-all, so talk with your loved one about their preferences. If you notice their preferences related to a specific sensory system, they may be interested in exploring other ways to meet their sensory needs at a later time. PAVE provides a downloadable introducing to The Sensory Systems and How to Meet Their Needs in the article, Giving the Gift of Sensory Regulation, Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All. Resist the urge to introduce new sensory supports without input from your neurodivergent loved one and especially during the holidays, when there are already many unfamiliar experiences to navigate.

Normalizing self-stimulation

Many neurodivergent people do specific repetitive behaviors to manage sensory input, reduce anxiety, or express themselves. These self-stimulatory behaviors, or “stims”, are ways they’ve learned intuitively to comfort themselves, cope in times of stress, and even express joy. Being able to respectfully discuss and normalize stimming that does not cause harm to themselves or others helps to create a more inclusive environment. Thought-out responses can turn an angry retort into a teaching moment, such as, “Everyone has their own way of being and this is her way of pushing through her discomfort to spend this time with us. She is doing her best and we’re glad she’s here!”

Touch sensitivities

Unexpected touch can be very upsetting, especially those who are touch sensitive. Even those who would usually understand touch sensitivity may cross boundaries during the holidays. When consent to touch can’t be communicated or understood, preparation is critical. If your loved one is touch sensitive, there are some things you can do ahead of time to accommodate and support their needs:

  • Plan an escape route to a place where they can find sanctuary.
  • Remind family and friends of acceptable touch before you gather. For example, “I hope your saving your hugs for me and your fist-bumps for Theo!”
  • Provide scripts for addressing unwanted touch from children, pets, and adults. For instance, telling a child, “I really don’t want you climbing on my lap, but you can sit next to me on the couch and show me your Pokémon game.” Communicating to a pet owner, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by Cooper trying to put her head in my space. Can you keep her behind the dog gate?”, can help mitigate the overwhelming touch before it happens.
  • Assemble a team of supporters to gently redirect unwelcome touch and serve as a shield. These family members and friends can step in as needed to respectfully uphold boundaries, such as sitting between your loved one and a reaching child or holding a persistent animal to keep it from jumping on them.
  • Prepare an escape plan by arranging for an individual they feel safe with to pick them up, if their touch boundaries are not respected.

Conclusion

Creating a supportive and inclusive holiday environment involves understanding and respecting the sensory needs of neurodivergent loved ones. By providing sensory supports and clear communication about touch boundaries, we can help them navigate the holiday season with greater comfort and ease. Seeking feedback from your neurodivergent loved one and giving them a sense of agency in determining their sensory supports ensures their needs are met effectively. With careful planning and empathy, we can ensure that everyone, regardless of their sensory preferences, can enjoy the holidays and create cherished memories together.

Learn More about Creating Joyful and Inclusive Holidays

This is part of a four-part series on the topic of creating joyful and inclusive holidays for neurodivergent family members, which began with Supporting a Neurodivergent Family Member During the Holidays. Meeting Neurodivergent Needs While Traveling provides tips and strategies to support neurodivergent individuals during travel to minimize stress. Comfortable Social Spaces for Neurodivergent Individuals During the Holidays provides strategies for managing stress and overstimulation in social situations.

Additional information:

Supporting a Neurodivergent Family Member During the Holidays

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

The holidays are a fun and festive time that can also be overwhelming, especially for those whose brains operate differently from what is typical or expected. This difference is called neurodivergence and it encompasses a variety of brain-based disabilities.

A Brief Overview

Introduction

People often see travel, new food, music, and new social situations as some of the joys of holidays, but those who are neurodivergent can find these experiences overwhelming. This doesn’t mean they dislike the holidays; it just requires some preparation to make the season inclusive and enjoyable for your neurodivergent loved one.

To achieve an inclusive experience, your loved one should feel comfortable explaining their accessibility needs and asking for support when necessary, confident that those around them will respond with understanding and accommodate their needs. Overall, special attention should be focused on providing a sense of agency, which means giving individuals control over their own choices and actions. This includes planning for neurodivergent needs ahead of time rather than improvising and hoping for the best.

Travel

Traveling during the holidays can be particularly challenging for neurodivergent individuals due to changes in routine, unfamiliar environments, and sensory overload. To support your loved one, consider planning travel itineraries that include ample downtime, familiar items for comfort, and clear, detailed schedules to reduce anxiety. Additionally, choosing quieter travel times and less crowded destinations can help create a more manageable experience. Learn more about Meeting Neurodivergent Needs While Traveling in this article.

Sensory Considerations

Sensory sensitivities are common among neurodivergent individuals, making it essential to create a holiday environment that minimizes sensory overload. This can include using soft lighting, reducing loud noises, and providing sensory-friendly activities. Offering options like noise-canceling headphones, weighted blankets, or fidget toys can also help your loved one feel more at ease during holiday gatherings. Some neurodivergent individuals may find certain textures or physical contact uncomfortable or overwhelming. Preparing scripts, promoting awareness, and supporting touch boundaries can help your loved on engage to the best of their ability and personal comfort. For tips to support sensory needs, read Creating Joyful and Inclusive Holidays: Sensory-Friendly Tips for Neurodivergent Loved Ones and download hands-on tools in Giving the Gift of Sensory Regulation, Supporting a Happy Holiday Season for All.

Social Overwhelm

Social interactions can be overwhelming for neurodivergent individuals, especially during large holiday gatherings. Creating comfortable social spaces involves setting up quiet areas where your loved one can retreat if they need a break from the festivities. It’s also helpful to establish clear social expectations and provide opportunities for smaller, more intimate interactions. Encouraging open communication needs and boundaries can ensure everyone enjoys the holiday season. To explore more strategies for supporting your neurodivergent loved one’s social challenges, check out the article: Creating Joyful and Inclusive Holidays: Comfortable Social Spaces for Neurodivergent Individuals During the Holidays.

Routine adaptations

Navigating the holidays can be particularly challenging for neurodivergent individuals when an expected routine does not happen, often referred to as a “routine violation.” Some neurodivergent individuals enjoy doing the same things daily so they feel less distressed by the unexpected aspects of life and better able to cope. For example, eating the same food for breakfast, following the same morning routine, or going on the same walk may help them maintain a sense of stability and predictability. The holidays are full of routine violations, including both fun aspects (like getting presents, which can however cause difficulties around knowing an appropriate response) and more challenging ones (such as unexpected food and not being able to do the things that help you cope).

Planning for routine violations can help, as you can make adaptations that support the individual’s needs. It’s critical to have conversations about what aspects of the routine are the most essential and identify methods to support these aspects with the individual’s feedback. For example, allowing someone to bring fruit bars for their breakfast might be a very easy way to support their daily breakfast routine. Knowing ahead of time that a loved one has a personal routine at a set time every day allows for adaptations in planning, such as driving in separate vehicles or arranging for someone they trust to transport them. Adaptations can support routines, often with little to no impact on others’ holiday experience.

Maintaining holiday traditions that offer familiarity and comfort is also important. Certain traditions, such as White elephant gift exchanges or board games, may be beloved components of every holiday. Much anticipated activities and annual traditions can also positively support routine needs, despite them happening less frequently than daily routines.

Crisis Planning

Sometimes, even with everything going as planned, things can still go wrong. In such cases, a neurodivergent crisis can appear as an individual shutting down or melting down. While a shutdown may be a less disruptive internal experience requiring a quiet space to withdraw to and recover, it is still a crisis. In contrast, a meltdown presents a more challenging situation that may be more obvious and impact others. Having a clear crisis plan ensures everyone knows what to do to support your loved one, where the person can go, and how to keep them safe while avoiding embarrassment or guilt during the holidays. Being prepared can make all the difference in managing these difficult moments effectively and fostering acceptance.

Final Thoughts

While the holidays can be a joyous time filled with celebrations and new experiences, they can also be overwhelming for neurodivergent individuals. By understanding and accommodating their unique needs through proactive planning, clear communication, and providing a sense of agency, we can create an inclusive and enjoyable holiday season for everyone. This involves thoughtful travel arrangements, sensory-friendly environments, manageable social interactions, routine adaptations, and crisis planning, ensuring that the holidays are a time of comfort and joy for all. Empowering neurodivergent loved ones to manage their needs effectively fosters a sense of belonging and acceptance within the family. By fostering an environment of understanding and support, we can help our neurodivergent loved ones fully participate in the festive spirit of the season, creating a better and more inclusive experience for everyone.

Below is an infographic of the information above.

Download this infographic in PDF form

Creating Inclusive Holidays for Neurodivergent Loved Ones

Learn More about Creating Joyful and Inclusive Holidays

This is part of a four-part series on the topic of creating joyful and inclusive holidays for neurodivergent family members. Meeting Neurodivergent Needs While Traveling provides tips and strategies to support neurodivergent individuals during travel to minimize stress. Learn Sensory-Friendly Tips for Neurodivergent Loved Ones to ensure they can enjoy the festivities and participate in making memories. Comfortable Social Spaces for Neurodivergent Individuals During the Holidays provides strategies for managing stress and overstimulation in social situations.

Additional information:

Creating Joyful and Inclusive Holidays: Meeting Neurodivergent Needs While Traveling 

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

A Brief Overview

  • This is part of a four-part series on the topic of creating joyful and inclusive holidays for neurodivergent family members, which began in Supporting a Neurodivergent Family Member During the Holidays and continues in Sensory-Friendly Tips for Neurodivergent Loved Ones and Comfortable Social Spaces for Neurodivergent Individuals During the Holidays.
  • Social interactions can be particularly challenging during the holiday season due to frequent and overwhelming gatherings.
  • Neurodivergent individuals who enjoy socializing may prefer calm, predictable settings.
  • Structured social activities provide a comfortable way for neurodivergent individuals to engage with others, as they offer clear rules and a shared experience.
  • Family gatherings can be stressful due to interactions with relatives they don’t see often, leading to feelings of overwhelm.
  • It’s crucial to respect the boundaries of neurodivergent individuals, allowing them to make their own choices about social interactions and providing opportunities for breaks to avoid overstimulation.
  • Understanding and respecting their social preferences and boundaries, especially during the holiday season, helps ensure neurodivergent individuals feel safe, respected, and included.

Full Article

Navigating social interactions can be particularly challenging for neurodivergent individuals, especially during the holiday season when gatherings are frequent and often overwhelming. While some neurodivergent people enjoy socializing, they may prefer calm and predictable environments where they can engage in structured activities. Understanding their unique needs and preferences is crucial for creating a supportive and inclusive atmosphere that allows them to participate comfortably and meaningfully.

Comfort in calm familiarity

Neurodivergent people who enjoy socializing may prefer calm, predictable gatherings. They might like sitting with a friend to play video games, quietly working on a puzzle together, or playing board games. When faced with a loud, busy family gathering, neurodivergent individuals may withdraw or seek out one person they enjoy chatting with—someone who genuinely respects and understands their accommodation needs, and with whom they can happily spend time discussing a single subject. This person feels safe to them. However, it’s important to recognize that their safe person might need a break too, so having multiple people that they feel safe with can be beneficial.

Incorporating structured activities

For neurodivergent individuals, having structured social activities like board games or group video games can provide a comfortable way to engage with others. Social rules and nuances can often be confusing, making unstructured mingling feel overwhelming and unmanageable. Structured activities offer a more supportive environment for social interaction with the rules clearly identified and a shared experience to drive conversation. Baking together, wrapping presents, and completing holiday crafts are all shared experiences that have clear instructions and goals. These activities not only make socializing more manageable but also add a festive and inclusive touch to holiday gatherings.

Overstimulation with unfamiliar relatives

Even family gatherings can feel strange and stressful. Talking to relatives they don’t see often can be tough for your loved one as they work out how to talk and act around people that feel unfamiliar, even if they are family. This can be overwhelming since they have to understand and respond to different social cues and expectations that might not be easy or comfortable for them.

To help ease this stress, consider preparing your loved one in advance by discussing who will be at the gathering and what to expect. Shared interests can be a great way to connect with others and make conversations more engaging. Tell or remind the neurodivergent individual of interests they have in common with relatives they don’t see as often to help start conversations. Socializing can be challenging, so it’s important to be patient and provide support without pressure.

Supporting boundaries and choice

Even with careful planning and maintaining traditions, the holiday season can still be overwhelming. Back-to-back events can be exhausting for anyone, but they can quickly become overstimulating for neurodivergent individuals. Seeing new people or people they only see once a year, having to navigate complex social hierarchies, and often trying to hide their neurodivergent traits to fit in can be very draining. While it is important to encourage your neurodivergent loved one to engage, it’s also critical to respect their boundaries and teach them how to have agency. Agency refers to their ability to make their own choices and decisions about social interactions, ensuring they feel empowered and in control. Allowing them to sit out some holiday parties for the sake of their own wellbeing can be a gift of emotional recharge, ensuring they don’t come out of the season completely exhausted.

Conclusion

Recognizing and respecting the social preferences and boundaries of neurodivergent individuals is essential, especially during the busy holiday season. Providing structured activities and allowing for breaks can help them manage the stress and overstimulation that often accompany large gatherings. By fostering an environment of understanding and support, we can ensure that neurodivergent individuals feel safe, respected, and included, ultimately enhancing their social experiences and overall well-being.

Learn More about Creating Joyful and Inclusive Holidays

This is part of a four-part series on the topic of creating joyful and inclusive holidays for neurodivergent family members, which began with Supporting a Neurodivergent Family Member During the Holidays. Meeting Neurodivergent Needs While Traveling provides tips and strategies to support neurodivergent individuals during travel to minimize stress. Learn Sensory-Friendly Tips for Neurodivergent Loved Ones to ensure they can enjoy the festivities and participate in making memories. Finally, creating Comfortable Social Spaces for Neurodivergent Individuals During the Holidays provides strategies for managing stress and overstimulation in social situations.

Additional information: