Tag: self-care

Respite Offers a Break for Caregivers and Those They Support

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Respite offers a short-term break for caregivers and those they support. This article provides information and resources to get started seeking respite services. Resources and links include sources of respite in WA State.

A Brief Overview

  • What family caregiving is
  • What respite care is, and why it’s important for family caregivers
  • Types of respite
  • How to decide on the best type of respite services for your family
  • Free and low-cost respite in WA State, including links to Veterans Administration and options for active duty military families.
  • Paying out-of-pocket for respite in WA State

What is family caregiving?

Modern families come in many styles. The primary caregivers of a person with a disability or special health care need might be parents or spouses or adult children, and they might be other relatives (kinship caregivers), friends, or neighbors.

They can also be described as “family caregivers”. This term is used widely by social service professionals, medical providers, and organizations and agencies that offer respite services and decide on respite care eligibility.

Some professionals use the term “care recipient” to describe the person who needs care from the family caregiver. However, in this article we will use the term “loved one” or “loved ones”, because family caregivers are usually not paid workers providing a service. They give care because families love and care for one another, and because “That’s what family is for”.

What is respite care? Why is it important for family caregivers?

Respite care is a short break from caregiving tasks for the family caregiver. It might last a few hours or include 24-hour a day care that lets the family caregiver (s) have a vacation.
Family caregiving can create deep bonds, be emotionally fulfilling and full of loving acts of kindness. It’s also physically, emotionally, and mentally tiring. Family caregivers don’t just run errands or do housecleaning for loved ones; they organize medical care, take loved ones to appointments, provide personal hygiene, handle finances, arrange after-school and childcare, wrestle with health insurance companies, Apple Health, or Medicare, and may have legal responsibilities such as being a court-appointed guardian or an agent under a Durable Power of Attorney.  

These responsibilities often add up to a full-time job in addition to paid employment and caring for other family members.  Respite breaks from caregiving are one of the top requests family caregivers make when they apply for caregiver supports and benefits, along with financial help. 

Family caregivers often wait until they are burnt out before looking for respite care. They may not realize it’s available for their situation, or their loved one may not like the idea of getting help from anyone but family. Putting everyone else’s needs before your own can take care of an immediate problem; in the long term, it can lead to increased anxiety, frustration, resentment, depression and even illness. Whether you think of yourself as a family caregiver or not, these are all signs of caregiver burnout and stress.

Time apart can boost well-being for both the family caregiver and their loved one. While caregivers temporarily shift their focus to necessary self-care, loved ones can meet new people and explore new interests.


What respite services would be most helpful?

Respite includes a wide variety of programs and services, such as:

  • In-Home Services (errands, light chores, personal care, companionship, medication reminders, etc.) *
  • Recreation (sports, exercise, crafts, and other leisure activities)
  • Day or Overnight Camps which serve individuals with disabilities
  • Day Services (dementia or memory centers, after-school and weekend programming for adults, children, and youth, daycares, etc.)
  • Education/Classes (may include preschools, nature schools, art, music, recreational skills, academics, etc.)
  • Organizations offering therapeutic benefits for a loved one (social skills groups, music therapy, equine/animal therapy, etc.)
  • 24-hour care

* In-home respite care does not include services that need to be performed by a nurse, occupational therapist or physical therapist. Some home-care agencies can provide services from those professionals, but most of the time, such services are arranged for and covered by health insurance.

Tools can help you decide which type or types of respite will work for you and your family:

Washington’s Pathways to Respite booklet includes “fill-in-the-blanks” tools to help define needs, like these examples:

“I would like to take a break, but I am concerned that___________” and “If I had some time to myself, I would _____________.”

This respite planning guide is from the Veterans Administration, but can work for any caregiver, civilian or military: https://www.caregiver.va.gov/CAREGIVER/support/docs/docs2024/Caregiver-Respite-Tool-2022.pdf#.

Ways to pay for respite and find respite providers:

If a family will pay out of pocket for respite services, they can find respite providers online. Here are some ideas to start a search:

  • “Adult Day Services Washington State”
  • “After-school programs children with special health care needs Washington State”
  • “In-home care agencies near me”
  • Check the listings at Lifespan Respite WA; listed agencies meet state standards for background checks and liability insurance.

Care.com is a paid private, online service connecting respite or personal care workers with potential care recipients and their families. Families are on their own to follow up on an individual worker’s qualifications, references, and background, although some listings will show someone has passed a background check. This service requires payment and a subscription, but it is easy to cancel once a caregiver has been hired. They also offer a program to manage tax withholding and payments for the independent workers hired.

If a care recipient is eligible for respite through private medical insurance, the insurance company will list approved providers or caregivers may call their insurance company representative.

When researching a respite agency, caregivers can check whether the agency meets standards and follows appropriate safety measures.

Here are a few examples of questions you might ask:

  • How are the workers chosen and trained?
  • Can the respite worker give medicine or help with medical tasks?
  • How are emergencies and problems handled?

A thorough guide is available at the ARCH National Respite Network and Resource Center: How to Choose a Respite Provider.

Free and low-cost respite services:

In Washington State, eligibility for free or low-cost respite services may depend on the caregiver or loved one’s circumstances or category of disability.

Seniors and Adults with Disabilities

Seniors 65 and older who meet functional and financial eligibility can get a variety of services through Department of Social and Health Services Home and Community Services Administration (HCSA).

Unpaid (family) caregivers of adults who are 55 and older who meet functional and financial eligibility can get respite care and other needed support services like caregiver education, support groups, housework and errands and other services.

The easiest way to learn about services and eligibility is to contact the county or regional Area Agency on Aging, which administers many of HCSA’s services. They are also listed at Washington’s Community Living Connections/waclc.org.

Some programs are:

Medicaid Alternative Care (MAC) and Tailored Supports for Older Adults (TSOA), Medicaid Demonstration Projects funded through Department of Health. Information and applications are handled through the Aging and Disability Resource Centers/Are Agencies on Aging (DSHS). These are WA’s most direct programs for unpaid family caregivers of people age 55 and older. They fund caregiver’s needs including respite care, caregiver training, and supplies. MAC serves people who are Medicaid-eligible but choose not to enroll in CFC. TSOA serves people who are not financially eligible for Medicaid, with higher income and asset limits, and does not require an unpaid caregiver.

As of September 2026, these programs have an automatic waitlist. Check back with the agency where you applied for updates.

Family Caregiver Support Program (FCSP)  An eligible caregiver is a spouse, relative, or friend who has responsibility for the care of an adult with a functional disability and does not receive financial compensation for the care provided. This program is administered by Aging and Disability Resource Centers/Area Agencies on Aging across the state. Respite funds vary by source, and availability of respite funding varies by location.

Catholic Community Services in WA are non-denominational in the services they offer. In addition to in-home supports, many other community/social service programs are available such as housing support, mental health support and treatment, food and financial assistance, teen and youth support, and more.

Catholic Community Services of Western WA

Catholic Charities of Central WA

Catholic Charities Eastern WA

Don’t forget to look in your community and nearby for memory cafes, volunteer-based dementia or disability day programs, and senior center offerings!

Respite for All Ages:

American Indian and Alaska Native Caregivers:

Lifespan Respite WA Voucher Programis open to all eligible American Indian and Alaskan Native caregivers.

Contacts for Tribal programs in WA State can be found on the HCLA Tribal Affairs website at Washington’s Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS). Individual Tribes direct their own caregiving and/or respite programs.

Community First Choice (CFC): your loved one is eligible if:

  • Financial Eligibility: must be financially eligible for Medicaid (Apple Health)
  • Functional Eligibility: require an “institutional level of care” (such as nursing home placement or an intermediate care facility) but choose to receive care at home or in an alternative living facility.
  • Medicaid Enrollment: Must be enrolled in Washington Apple Health (Medicaid) under a categorically needy (CN) or alternative benefit plan (ABP) scope of care.
  • If your loved one is age 65 or older, blind, disabled, or on Medicare, apply at WashingtonConnection.org.
  • If your loved one is under age 65 or not eligible for Medicare, apply using the WA HealthPlan Finder.
  • You can also apply in-person at a local Home and Community Services office.

COPES: a wraparound service for individuals on the Community First Choice plan. Individuals must have needs that exceed what is available in Community First Choice. Eligible individuals are in the Community First Choice Program. 

Home and Community-Based Services for individuals with developmental disabilities, which may include respite for their caregivers (through the Developmental Disabilities Administration/DDA)

Eligibility is based on the presence of one of four developmental disabilities (Intellectual disability, Cerebral palsy, Epilepsy, Autism) or associated disabilities, an age of onset prior to diagnostic criteria or age 18, and evidence of substantial limitations.

Important:

  • An individual must first apply to see if they are eligible (family member may apply for the individual).
  • Once eligible, the individual or family must apply for specific services.

Detailed information on the application process and on specific programs (“waivers”) can be found on the Informing Families website.

Lifespan Respite WA: offers a voucher (small grant) for unpaid family caregivers who support a family member, friend, or neighbor who needs assistance with daily living activities. The voucher is used to pay for services or programs that allow the caregiver to have respite, or short breaks from caregiving tasks. Lifespan Respite vouchers are for temporary short-term respite. 

Eligibility: the caregiver

  • Is not paid to care for their family member, friend, or neighbor;  
  • Provide 40 or more hours per week of care or support for someone with a special need or condition (the person can be any age), and the 40 or more hours must include supervision of the person receiving care;
  • Live in Washington State; 
  • Not be able to afford respite care on their own;
  • The caregiver or the person they care for are not enrolled in any program that provides respite services, unless they are on a wait list and not scheduled to receive services within 30 days of the voucher application.

Read more about Lifespan Respite WA and apply online.

Department of Children Youth and Families (DCYF):

Foster parents provide temporary homes for children whose parents are unable to care for them. DCYF and the family court system authorize placement of a child or youth in foster care when it is necessary for a child’s safety and well-being. More than half of children and youth using foster care in WA State are cared for by a kinship caregiver—a grandparent, other relative, unrelated close friend or “chosen family”. Federally recognized Tribes in WA decide who is a relative of a child who needs foster care.

Three types of respite are available through DCYF for Licensed Foster Parents, Unlicensed Relative Caregivers and “Other Suitable Persons”  (definitions at DCYF): Retention Respite (monthly breaks, emergent situations); Exchange Respite (arranged between licensed caregivers, approved by case workers and is not financially reimbursed); and Child-Specific Respite for relief from caregiving responsibilities linked to medical, behavioral or special needs of an individual child or youth.

Informal kin caregivers who do not have any contact with the foster care system may receive access to some benefits through the Kinship Program at WA’s Department of Social and Health Services. They may also be eligible if they or their kin child qualifies under any of the other programs listed under “All Ages”.

The WA Cares Fund is a public long-term care insurance program. All working Washingtonians contribute a small percentage of their income into the fund. Benefits can fund respite care and many in-home services. If a family caregiver retired prior to the program start in 2023, or if they left to care for their loved one, they may not be eligible for this program. If they did work from the start of the program but need respite services sooner than later, they may not have accumulated much in the fund. The maximum amount for benefits is $36,500, which will be adjusted for inflation.

Veterans and Military Family Caregivers

Active duty family members’ loved ones may be eligible for respite under Tricare Echo, a benefit under the military healthcare plans.

Exceptional Family Member Program: Provides all four military branches with care and respite support for families with a member who has a special need or disability. When military respite is not available, military families should know they are also eligible to apply for civilian respite services while living in Washington State.

Coast Guard Special Needs Program: provides Coast Guard family members who have special needs or a disability with care and support. Coast Guard families may also apply to civilian sources of respite care in Washington State.

Financial help paying for respite care may be available through Coast Guard Mutual Assistance. https://mycgma.org/

Veterans Affairs offers the Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers (PCAFC) which offers respite services.

Do you have questions about respite?

Please contact Get Support and select “respite (Lifespan)” as a reason for contacting PAVE, or call Lifespan Respite WA at 253-442-3214.

Self-Care is Critical for Caregivers with Unique Challenges

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Caring for individuals with disabilities or complex medical needs can be emotionally and physically draining, making intentional self-care essential for long-term well-being.  Simple practices like mindfulness, getting enough sleep, going for a walk, or taking a few deep breaths can help reduce stress and build resilience. Talking to others who understand and finding time to rest can also help caregivers stay strong and healthy.

A Brief Overview

  • Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is any activity or strategy that helps you survive and thrive in your life. Without regular self-care, it can become impossible to keep up with work, support and care for others, and manage daily activities.
  • PAVE knows that self-care can be particularly challenging for family members caring for someone with a disability or complex medical condition. This article includes tips and guidance especially for you.
  • PAVE provides a library with more strategies to cultivate resilience, create calm through organization, improve sleep, and more: Self-Care Videos for Families Series.

Introduction

Raising children requires patience, creativity, problem-solving skills and infinite energy. Think about that last word—energy. A car doesn’t keep going if it runs out of gas, right? The same is true for parents and other caregivers. If we don’t refill our tanks regularly we cannot keep going. We humans refuel with self-care, which is a broad term to describe any activity or strategy that gives us a boost.

Self-care is not selfish! Without ways to refresh, we cannot maintain our jobs, manage our homes, or take care of people who need us to keep showing up. Because the demands of caring for someone with a disability or complex medical condition can require even more energy, refueling through self-care is especially critical for caregivers.

Two Feet, One Breath

Before you read anymore, try this simple self-care tool called Two Feet, One Breath. Doctors use this one in between seeing patients.

Two Feet, One Breath infographic. Calming practice that can help your mental health.

Download this infographic, Two Feet 1 Breath:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

Two Feet, One Breath can become part of every transition in your day: when you get out of bed or the car, before you start a task, after you finish something, or any time you go into a different space or prepare to talk with someone. This simple practice highlights how self-care can become integrated into your day.

Although a day at the spa might be an excellent idea, self-care doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive to have a big impact!

Almost everyone knows or cares for someone with special needs. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), at least 28% of the American population experiences a disability. The result is widespread compassion fatigue, which is a way to talk about burnout from giving more than you get.

Below are some ways to use self-care to avoid burnout!

Connect with others

Building a support network with others who share similar life experiences can be incredibly valuable. When you’re going through a challenging or unique situation—like parenting a child with special needs or managing a family health issue—it can feel isolating. These connections offer emotional validation and a sense of understanding that can be hard to find elsewhere—you don’t have to explain everything because others simply get it. Research shows that social support can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, enhancing overall well-being and resilience. Beyond emotional comfort, support networks empower individuals by helping them build confidence, understand their rights, and even engage in advocacy efforts that benefit their families and communities.

Here are some communities and resources to help you get connected:

Parent-to-Parent Connections

The Parent-to-Parent network can help by matching parents with similar interests or by providing regular events and group meetings.

Support for Families of Youth Who Are Blind or Low Vision

Washington State Department of Services for the Blind (DSB) offers resources and support for families. You can also hear directly from youth about their experiences in the PAVE story: My story: The Benefits of Working with Agencies like the Washington State Department of Services for the Blind.

Support for Families of Youth Who Are Deaf or Hard of Hearing

Washington Hands and Voices offers opportunities for caregivers of youth who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing (DHH) to connect, share experiences, and find community.

Resources for Families Navigating Behavioral Health Challenges

Several family-serving organizations provide support, education, and advocacy for caregivers of children and youth with behavioral health conditions: 

  • Family, Youth, and System Partner Round Table (FYSPRT). Regional groups are a hub for family networking and emotional support. Some have groups for young people.
  • Washington State Community Connectors (WSCC). WSCC sponsors an annual family training weekend, manages a Substance Use Disorder (SUD) Family Navigator training, and offers ways for families to share their experiences and support one another.
  • COPE (Center of Parent Excellence) offers support group meetings and direct help from lead parent support specialists as part of a statewide program called A Common Voice.
  • Dads Move ​works to strengthen the father’s role in raising children with behavioral health needs through education, peer support and advocacy.
  • Healthy Minds Healthy Futures is an informal network on Facebook.

PAVE provides a comprehensive toolkit for families navigating behavioral health systems, including guidance on crisis response, medical care, education, and family support networks.

Get Enough Sleep

The body uses sleep to recover, heal, and process stress. If anxiety or intrusive thinking consistently interrupts sleep, self-care starts with some sleeping preparations:

Move Your Body

Moving releases feel-good chemicals into the body, improves mood, and reduces the body’s stress response. Walk or hike, practice yoga, swim, wrestle with the kids, chop wood, work in the yard, or start a spontaneous living-room dance party.

The Mayo Clinic has this to say about exercise:

  • It pumps up endorphins. Physical activity may help bump up the production of your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. Although this function is often referred to as a runner’s high, any aerobic activity, such as a rousing game of tennis or a nature hike, can contribute to this same feeling.
  • It reduces the negative effects of stress. Exercise can provide stress relief for your body while imitating effects of stress, such as the flight or fight response, and helping your body and its systems practice working together through those effects. This can also lead to positive effects in your body—including your cardiovascular, digestive and immune systems—by helping protect your body from harmful effects of stress.
  • It’s meditation in motion. After a fast-paced game of racquetball, a long walk or run, or several laps in the pool, you may often find that you’ve forgotten the day’s irritations and concentrated only on your body’s movements. Exercise can also improve your sleep, which is often disrupted by stress, depression and anxiety.

Be Mindful

Mindfulness can be as simple as the Two Feet, One Breath practice described at the top of this article. Mindfulness means paying attention or putting your full attention into something. Focusing the mind can be fun and simple and doesn’t have to be quiet, but it should be something that you find at least somewhat enjoyable that requires some concentration.  Some possibilities are working on artwork, cleaning the house or car, crafting, working on a puzzle, cooking or baking, taking a nature walk, or building something.

For more mindfulness ideas, check out PAVE’s Mindfulness Video Series. From this playlist, Get Calm by Getting Organized, explores how getting organized provides satisfaction that releases happiness chemicals and hormones.

Schedule Time

A day can disappear into unscheduled chaos without some intentional planning. A carefully organized calendar, with realistic boundaries, can help make sure there’s breathing room.

Set personal appointments on the calendar for fun activities, dates with kids, healthcare routines, and personal “me time.” If the calendar is full, be courageous about saying no and setting boundaries. If someone needs your help, find a day and time where you might be able to say yes without compromising your self-care. Remember that self-care is how you refuel; schedule it so you won’t run out of gas!

Time management is a key part of stress management! This article, “Stress Management: Managing Your Time” from Kaiser Permanente, gives tips for managing your time well, so you can reduce the pressure of last-minute tasks and make space for the things that matter most to you.

Seek Temporary Relief

Respite care provides temporary relief for a primary caregiver. In Washington State, a resource to find respite providers is Lifespan Respite. PAVE provides an article with more information: Respite Offers a Break for Caregivers and Those They Support.

Parents and caregivers of children with developmental disabilities can seek in-home personal care services and request a waiver for respite care from the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA). PAVE provides two training videos about eligibility and assessments for DDA. For more information about the application process, Informing Families provides a detailed article and video.

Download the Emotional Wellness Tips for Caregivers

Emotional Wellness Tips for Family Caregivers

Download this checklist of Emotional Wellness Tips for Caregivers in:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Somali Soomaali | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

Holiday Survival Tips For Families with Special Healthcare Needs

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Every family experiences holidays and end-of-year transitions differently. This article provides a sampling of ideas for families with children (of any age) experiencing special healthcare needs or disability. If a child also experiences behavioral difficulties, you may wish to read Home for the Holidays: The Gift of Positive Behavior Support 

A Brief Overview 

Here are some quick takeaways: 

  • Keep to your everyday schedule and routine as much as possible to minimize medical and behavioral impacts. 
  • Add fun with home-based holiday activities and traditions tailored to your family’s needs or select family or group activities which work with your child’s medical needs. 
  • Plan and save surprises too: Mix up the activities so children can help with some planning and enjoy a few surprises. 
  • Plan for health and safety if travel is on the schedule. 
  • The article includes suggestions for parents and other family caregivers to help support you as a family caregiver during the busy holiday season. Includes ideas for parents in the “sandwich generation”.
  • Gratitude is a gift: Moments of thankfulness calm the mind. For additional stress-reducers, PAVE has a practical gift: Self-Care Videos for Families Series. We also offer short videos to help everyone find calm (Try Hot Chocolate Breath!): Mindfulness Video Series. 

Get Holiday Help

Parents and family members who care for an individual with special health care needs or a disability are already busier than most people. It’s very common for a primary caregiver, the person usually caring for a person with health needs or disability, to believe that all the extra planning for holiday time is their responsibility, too.

This season, use these reminders and tips to help yourself as a parent or other family caregiver to some holiday spirit:

Share your holiday wish list with extended family and friends. Here are some ideas:

  • Ask for time off from caregiving duties as a gift for the holidays (respite).  Can another family member, extended family member, or friend take over some caregiving tasks? Perhaps they could pay, or help you pay for a home care worker or a stay at a respite facility.
  • Can a family member or friend help with chores, household maintenance, holiday cleaning, shopping, decorating? Look at your household’s to-do list and just ask.
  • Childcare when school’s out: “You know, for Channukah this year, I’d love it if you could come over and play with the younger kids while I do XYZ”.
  • Gift certificates for relaxing /pampering activities are great too: spa time, for example!

Order in holiday-time meals or ask for the pre-holiday gift of donations of baked goods, meals you can freeze/reheat, or gift cards to food delivery services from restaurants or supermarkets.

Money: Make a holiday spending budget with your spouse or partner to reduce financial stress. Ask extended family members to agree on a dollar limit for gifts and/or set up a gift exchange where names are drawn.

Are you a “sandwich generation” caregiver, caring for both children and older family members with health or other conditions?  Carol Bradley Bursack, writing on Aging Care, shares this insight:

“The squeeze of generations and the countless needs of each leave little time for caregivers to think of their own needs. Members of the sandwich generation know this dilemma well. Prioritizing our own health and enjoyment winds up feeling like just another task, so we knock it to the bottom of the to-do list and keep on doing for everyone else…

Communicate with your loved ones. Even small children can understand—if they are told in a loving way—that your time is short or you have to cut corners because Grandma and other family members rely on you, too. Communicate the same thing to the elder(s) in your care. Helping the entire family understand that each person’s desires are important to you but that you have a lot on your plate can help keep their expectations more realistic. You’d be surprised how much a senior, even one who has dementia, can understand.”

Learn more about the difficult choices facing “sandwich generation” family caregivers in another article by Carol Bradley Bursack, A Story from the Sandwich Generation: Caring for Kids and Parents1

Decide Which Routines and Schedules Might Be “Holiday Flexible” 

“Many children with disabilities rely on schedules, either as a coping strategy or for medical reasons. It is critical to keep your child on schedule during the holidays as much as possible. This may mean leaving an event early or arriving later to accommodate tube feedings or respiratory treatments. It may mean putting your child to bed on time, even at Aunt Sally’s midnight party.” -Susan Agrawal, complexchild.org .  A “reason” for leaving an event might make it easier for a child to leave an event when others are staying. “It’s time for us to get the food ready for Santa’s reindeer” or “let’s head home for a special holiday treat” may help get everyone out the door!

If your family can accommodate a bit more flexibility, a “Holiday” sleep schedule with an extra hour of special family time before bed might add a fun holiday flavor. For others, sleeping in or staying in jammies longer than usual might create a relaxing holiday feel. Be sure to call out these relaxed rules as holiday specials so everyone understands they are temporary changes and part of the “break.” 

Keeping to a schedule and getting regular physical exercise and good sleep is important for everyone else in the family, too!

Set Expectations with Extended Family

No holiday is ever perfect, and unrealistic expectations can cause a celebration to sour. Communicating with relatives and friends can help: 

  • Make a “Gift Wish List” for your child with special healthcare needs to let relatives and friends know what gifts will be good for your child based on what they might need to avoid and what they can use and enjoy. Many large retailers (Target and Kohls, for example) carry lines of adaptive clothing and sensory products and toys. 
  • Ask for understanding and support from family and friends to reinforce positive messages and realistic expectations. Saying no might be important, so choose what works and toss the guilt if the family needs to pass on a tradition or an invitation. Or use the “No, but” strategy and offer an alternative such as a different time or activity, or a virtual get-together.

Travel 

For families choosing to travel, bags with medication and equipment still need to include masks, hand sanitizer, and sanitizing wipes. Even with mask mandates mostly a thing of the past, it’s sensible to have these on hand for crowded airports and planes and visiting more vulnerable, elderly relatives.  

If plans include planes and trains, be sure to let agents and attendants know about a family member’s special accommodation needs.  

  • Washington travelers can make preflight preparations from Sea-Tac Airport by sending an email to the Sea-Tac Airport customer service.  
  • The phone number for the Spokane Airport Administrative Offices: (509) 455-6455. Amtrak provides a range of Accessible Travel Services. 
  • TSA Cares is designed to aid travelers with disabilities with TSA screening procedures. Call them at 855-787-2227 (8 AM to 11 PM Eastern Time M-F, and 9 AM-8 PM Eastern weekends and holidays). 

Sugary treats might impact planning for children with diabetes: An insulin pump might help during the temporary splurges so a child can enjoy the holiday without feeling too different or overwhelmed. 

  • Visions of sugar plums might need a different flavor for children with specific allergies or food sensitivities. Being prepared with substitutions may prevent a child from feeling left out. If someone else is doing the cooking, be sure to share about any severe allergies to make sure utensils and mixing containers do not get cross-contaminated. 

Add Fun 

ASK your family-what do they like best about a holiday? (Christmas, Channukah, Kwanzaa, Diwali, Eid al-Fitr, etc.) Keep these wishes in mind when you select and plan for holiday activities. This may help you to keep your to-do list focused on what your family looks forward to, or would like to change, rather than an overwhelming set of holiday “to-dos”.

Give the gift of Giving. Every person deserves the chance to be of help to others and make them feel loved. Small children, children with special health conditions, children of any age with intellectual disabilities, children with developmental disabilities can participate in the act of giving holiday gifts. It’s a great way to boost a person’s capabilities and sense of belonging.

Making home-made holiday cards, simple handcrafted items, baked goods, or purchased inexpensive items from a dollar store can be great holiday family activities or a chance to spend one-to-one time with an individual child.

Families can set aside time for, or add on to ordinary routines, time for reading special holiday stories, playing games, or watching silly holiday movies. Laughter is therapeutic!

Understanding your child’s healthcare needs and vulnerabilities can help with deciding which activities are right for your family. It’s also important to think about which activities will help you, the caregiving parent or family member, recharge—and which ones to prioritize in terms of time and energy.

  • Drive-through light shows, streaming concerts, theater, and holiday events are options in some areas that won’t expose a medically vulnerable child to other people’s germs. 
  • If weather and your family’s needs permit, outdoor holiday activities with groups of people are less likely to spread illness, as we all learned during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Think of tree lightings, caroling, snow-sculpture or snowman-making events, and of course winter sports, if appropriate, for your child and family. 
  • One tradition that has always been virtual is the NORAD Santa tracker, which keeps tabs on Santa’s travel on Christmas Eve and has kid-centered games and songs. 

Finding the “just-right” amount of holiday celebrating can be tricky, so keep the Three Bears/Goldilocks principle in mind. For children who understand this theme, families can use the classic story to talk about how everyone makes choices about what is the “just right” amount of celebrating, eating, screen time, sleeping. 

Plan and Save Surprises Too 

A theme for the year can add a new flavor to family traditions. Here are some suggested themes: 

  • How I celebrated when I was a kid. 
  • Christmas 1821, 1721, etc. 
  • Holiday food, decorations, stories, music, etc. from another culture. 

The family can research the theme together to come up with ideas and activities. A theme night might include a chance for each family member to share something or lead an activity. On story night, each person might share a favorite holiday memory or a made-up story. If extended family want to take part, a video conference might be an added element to the evening. 

Adults can set aside a few ideas to save for in-the-moment surprises to sprinkle in. A prize, special treat, well-told joke, customized family game, or a surprise “guest” on the phone are a few ideas to plan out in advance.

Gratitude is a Gift 

  Gratitude helps the mind escape from stress-thinking and move toward feelings of peacefulness and grace. Taking a few moments to mindfully reflect on something that brings joy, beauty, love, sweetness—anything that feels positive—can create a sense of ease.

For additional stress-reducers, PAVE provides a practical gift: Self-Care Videos for Families Series. We also offer short videos to help everyone find calm (Try Hot Chocolate Breath!): Mindfulness Video Series. 

Susan Agrawal, writing on complexchild.org, reminds us “No holiday is ever going to turn out like you want it to, even if you have the most perfect storybook family in existence. Don’t expect perfection or anything even close to perfection. For some families, getting through the holidays may be as much as you can expect. For other families, changing holiday traditions may make the season not feel the same. That’s OK. Instead, try to find the blessings in the season, whether that means seeing family members or celebrating your child’s inch stones.”  

Additional Holiday Resources 

PAVE: This is part of a series on the topic of creating joyful holidays for everyone:

Aging Care:

Complex Child:

Summer Daily Activity List – Taking care of YOU!

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Daily Activity List

PAVE has created a suggested list of activities to follow every day this summer. Give yourself grace if you cannot do everything on the list. Nobody is keeping track. Your reward will be a healthy mindset! Type Mindfulness into the search bar on our website to find other articles and videos to support self-care for everyone in the family.

List of Daily Activities for the Summer Print list on wapave.org

Click to view this list in PDF form

Contents of the graphic:

Start the day with a self-care routine – Do all!

  • Eat breakfast
  • Get dressed and take a shower if needed
  • Brush teeth and hair
  • Pick up your room and make your bed
  • Put away four things that are out of place

Take care of your home – Pick one!

  • Help to wash dishes
  • Load /unload the dishwasher
  • Vacuum one room
  • Empty the garbage
  • Do a new chore!

Build your body – Pick one or more!

  • Challenge yourself to do something outside for at least one hour
  • Go for a walk, walk a pet, or draw with sidewalk chalk
  • Help make a yummy healthy meal
  • Play with friends or swing at a nearby park
  • Tired or crabby? Take a nap!

Build your brain – Pick one or more!

  • Do a puzzle, play with Lego bricks, make music
  • Write a story, read a book (at least 1 chapter or 20 minutes)
  • Choose something else creative that you enjoy

Build up others – Pick one or more!

  • Write a letter to a friend or family member
  • Give a compliment
  • Find a small or large way to help someone: a little kindness goes a long way!

Self-Care Videos for Mindfulness – Families Series

Posted on by Nicol Walsh
How to Cultivate Resilience Like a Starfish
Take a Mindful Walk in Nature
Get Calm by Getting Organized
Feel What You Feel
Support a Child’s Resilience by Pointing to the Positive
Body Sensing Meditation for Help with Sleep
Make Good Feelings Stick Like Velcro

Take a Mindful Walk in Nature

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Mindfulness can mean anything that helps you slow down and show up for what’s happening in a moment. This video demonstrates how to notice all of the body’s senses on a nature walk. Once it’s familiar, the concept could be useful in any environment, including indoors. Get creative and if it’s developmentally appropriate, you can encourage children to make up their own journey through their senses.

Get Calm by Getting Organized

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

When overwhelm is happening, it’s hard to imagine that getting organized will help. But here’s why it’s worth it: When you feel satisfied that you’ve done something, your brain releases happiness chemicals and hormones. This video provides information about how that works and how families can tap into happy by getting organized and taking time each day to celebrate everyone’s accomplishments.

How to Cultivate Resilience like a Starfish

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Starfish are masters at letting turmoil wash around them. They are also excellent models of resilience. This short video uses imagery from the sea and provides a strategy to get grounded, steady the breath, and cultivate four key aspects of resilience: purpose, connection, adaptability, and hope.

Become present and let thinking float away as you treat yourself to this opportunity to take a few minutes to care for yourself.

Breathe Mindfully and Give Your Favorite Stuffy a Ride

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Even young children can become grounded and calm if breathing with intention is fun and accessible to them. This short video features two young models showing how they give their stuffed animals a ride while they breathe into and out of their tummies.

Have your child choose a comfortable place to lie down and place their stuffed animal on their tummy. Help them to notice what it’s like to breathe and watch the stuffy go up and down. Ask them what it feels like to notice their breathing and their stuffy taking a ride.

Our five-year-old model says, “I loved it and felt like I could fall asleep.”

Body Sensing Meditation for Help with Sleep

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Anxiety around bedtime is a struggle for many people of all ages. Whether the challenge is to fall asleep or stay asleep, worry doesn’t make getting enough zees any easier. Here is a strategy for calming that uses a body scanning strategy combined with breath awareness.

Parents might share this practice out loud to help a child go to sleep. The child also might learn to use all or parts of the technique on their own. Once you understand the basic strategy you can adapt the wording to meet your own needs or the needs of the person you are sharing this with. Some might even fall asleep before you get through the whole practice!

If you or another person experiencing this practice do not have all of their body parts you can ask whether it feels good to imagine those body parts while doing the body scan or whether it feels better to include only body parts that are present. For a person who is deaf or hard of hearing or for people who respond well to sensory touch, there is the option to gently touch parts of the body while moving through the practice. Once learned, the practice can be silent, internal, and personalized. Be creative about how to make it workable and useful for any person who might benefit.

To help with sleep, body sensing starts with the feet…

Please make yourself comfortable in bed or another space where you can relax and listen to the 10-minute meditation provided in this video.

When you are finished listening, if you are not yet ready for sleep, you may wish to begin again with the body sensing, always starting with your feet and traveling awareness up through the body, noticing the breath throughout your own journey into rest.

The Meditation Script

If you prefer to read this script aloud to someone else or to yourself, here are the words from the video:

Notice that you have two feet. On your feet there are toes, big toes, second toes, middle toes, fourth toes, and baby toes. Notice your feet and toes. Notice what your feet and toes are touching. Is it soft or hard? Cool or warm? Are your toes and feet relaxed? Notice that you have ankles. Your legs have a lower part. You have two knees. Your legs have an upper part. You have hips. Notice what your hips, legs and feet are resting on. Is there anything you could change to be even just a little bit more comfortable?

Notice your tummy. Notice that as you breathe in your tummy goes up. As you breathe out your tummy goes down. Notice what it feels like to breathe in and out of your tummy. As you breathe in, you are noticing that your tummy is filling up. As you breathe out, you are noticing that your tummy is getting empty. What does breathing feel like? Just notice.

Notice that behind your tummy is your back. You have a lower back, a middle back, and an upper back. Inside your back there are ribs, and your ribs have a back part, two sides, and a front part. Your front ribs meet at your chest.

Notice that when you breathe in, your tummy fills up and so does your chest. Your ribs get a little wider. When you breathe out your chest goes down and so does your tummy. Your ribs settle in. See if you can notice what it feels like when your tummy and chest fill up with breath and when they empty of breath. Notice how long it takes for a breath to come all the way in and to go all the way back out again. Your body knows how to breathe all by itself and does this all day long. Notice how it feels to pay attention to your body breathing.

Notice that your chest is in between your shoulders. Your shoulders are connected to your arms.  Your arms have an upper part. You have elbows. Your arms have a lower part, and you have two wrists. Notice your hands. You have fingers. Each hand has a thumb, first finger, second finger, third finger and a baby finger. Your hands have a back part and a palm. Notice what your shoulders, arms and hands are resting on. Is it soft or hard? Cool or warm? Are your arms, hands, and fingers relaxed? Is there anything you could change to be even just a tiny bit more comfortable?

Notice that your heart is beating inside your chest. You are breathing, and your heart is beating. Your body is taking care of its basic needs to be healthy and alive. Notice that right now you are safe. Notice the room you are in and whether there is lightness or darkness or some of both. Notice any sounds that are near or far. Notice that your body is breathing. Your chest and belly fill up each time you breathe in and empty each time you breathe out. Make any little changes that you need to be slightly more comfortable.

Notice that you have a neck and a head. Notice what the back of your head is resting on. Your head has a top part and two sides. You have eyebrows and two eyes. Your eyes can close so that your top eyelashes and your bottom eyelashes touch each other. Imagine that there is a color behind your closed eyes that is a soft dark blue. Notice how you feel when you peer into this deep blue space behind your eyes. Notice if there are any edges to the dark blue or if it seems to stretch forever, like the night sky.

Notice that you have a mouth. Inside your mouth there is a tongue, and you have teeth. Your mouth has a right side and a left side. Your mouth is resting.

Notice that you have a nose with two nostrils. Air comes into your nostrils and goes out through your nostrils. Notice that air traveling into your nostrils moves down into your chest and tummy. After the air empties from your tummy and chest it leaves through your nostrils. Notice the long journey that your breath takes through the body, from the nostrils to the chest and belly. Out from the belly, the chest, and the nostrils. What does it feel like to watch your body breathing?

Notice the shape of your whole body and what your body is resting on. You have feet and legs. You have a tummy and a back. Your arms and hands are resting. Your whole body is comfortable and resting. You are breathing with your nose, your chest and your belly. Your eyes are closed, and there’s a dark blue color behind your eyelids. We’re breathing in and breathing out through our noses. We are safe and resting. We are noticing what it feels like to rest.

Download the meditation script