Temporary Caregivers of Military Children: Guide to Essential Information

If you are a grandparent, other relative, or family friend taking care of children while their parent or parents are deployed or on other duty, this guide to essential information is intended to offer you help and resources.  It contains useful information about military benefits that provide help with schools, medical care and supports and services for disabilities (sometimes called “special needs”). Medical care, supports and services include benefits for what some people call “invisible disabilities” such as ADHD, developmental disabilities including autism, learning difficulties, and mental health disorders. It also includes information on legal and financial assistance through the military and through civilian programs.

 Top Two Essential Documents:

 These two documents are necessary for you to act on behalf of the child in situations where a parent would usually act, such as giving permission for medical care or picking up a prescription, enrolling a child in school or daycare, and making decisions when the child’s parent cannot be in contact.

 Whether you live near or far away from the family’s current installation, you will need:

  1. Military ID cards: each child age 10 or older needs to be registered in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System and have a current ID card. Caregivers do not get their own ID cards and will need the child’s ID for installation access, medical benefits, and military-subsidized childcare.
  2. Power of Attorney: a document giving an individual legal authority to act in certain situations on behalf of another individual. In these cases, the service member is giving a temporary authority to the designated relative or other caregiver (you) to care for their child.
    1. How a service member can get and send a Power of Attorney if they have already left for deployment (note-this is a blog post written by a military spouse, not an “official” document—but it has clear directions.)

Documents to get onto the installation:

If you live nearby, you may need to get onto the installation for a child’s school, medical care, child care, military-subsidized shopping, recreational programs, religious services, visits with friends, etc.

  • The child’s military ID (needed for age 10 and above)
  • Acceptable picture ID for you (contact Visitor Information at the installation for what is accepted)
  • Power of Attorney giving you authorization to make decisions on behalf of the child in the absence of his or her parents (school, medical, child care, other situations requiring parental authority)
  • Agent letter of authorization signed by the installation’s commanding officer. The military parent or parents can request this letter through the ID card office at their installation.

What other documents might I need?

Documents for a Deployed Service Member’s Designated Family Caregiver

Resources specifically for grandparents and other kinship caregivers and guardians:

Military and Civilian Resources for Temporary Caregivers:

Education

  • Parent Centers in each state work with families of infants, toddlers, children, and youth with disabilities age birth to 26 and help parents and other caregivers participate effectively in their child’s education and development.

Childcare

  • Child Care Aware of America (to locate military-subsidized and civilian child care)
  • Call 2-1-1 to find out about local affordable child care options
  • YMCA (some YMCAs have special arrangements for military children)
  • Before-and-after school programs through the local school district
  • Administration for Children and Families (US Dept. of Health and Human Services) child care programs that use federal money to offer lower-cost child care (Head Start is one such program)
  • State programs

Medical (including Autism Services and Respite Care)

Financial Help with Living Expenses

School Support Plans for Deployment-Tips for Parents

Why do schools need to know when a parent deploys? 

Your children spend a large portion of their day in school, so teachers often notice changes or new behaviors. The value of parents and schools partnering to support military-connected children with the stressors of deployment is significant. As you know, having a parent away for a lengthy time places extra stress on children and the at-home parent, siblings and/or other care givers. No matter how often a military parent is deployed, and no matter how well-prepared a child might be for a parent’s absence, children with disabilities may be particularly vulnerable to the effects of stress on their physical and emotional well-being.

How can you support your child at school during deployment? 

Set up a meeting

 Communication about an upcoming deployment is key and setting up a meeting will help prepare the school. For example, you can request a meeting with your child’s teacher shortly after you find out about the upcoming deployment. If the separation is scheduled to start during summer vacation, you may want to book that conference as soon as possible after school begins. If your child is in middle or high school, meeting with every teacher might be a consideration as information may not reach each teacher who interacts with your child.

 When meeting with your child’s teachers, you can let them know that there are some areas of information you won’t be able to share with them, due to operational security concerns regarding mission-related details. Your Parent Center staff will be aware that you have these limits on what information can be shared and can support you in planning your meetings with school personnel.

Areas that can steer clear of mission-related operational security include:

  • Timeframe- a general idea of beginning and ending dates
  • Past experiences- if your child has excessive stress during a previous deployment or their behavior communicates their concern for the absence of the parent and/or changes in routine with deployment
  • Coping mechanisms- sharing strategies that have helped your child cope with stress; teachers may be able to continue those practices at school. For example, if your child finds it comforting to look at a photo of their deployed parent, a teacher may be willing to allow them to keep a copy in their backpack or desk.

 Develop a plan

Working with your child’s teachers, plan ahead to craft a process to deal with situations if they arise. All of us respond differently to stress in different environments, including our children.  This means your child might appear to be perfectly fine at home and may be struggling and/or acting out at school.  Working with your child’s teachers to develop a plan of action if he or she appears to be stressed out or starts behaving differently in school will help.

These plans will be individually designed for your child, but some options could be:

  • Access to a counselor or therapist – such as Military Family Life Counselors ADD military URL
  • Tutoring – Tutoring.com provides free 24/7 homework assistance for military families.
  • Staying active – such as participation in recess, physical education, and after-school sports
  • Breaks at school-such as leaving a classroom for a while to go to a supervised safe space, like a library or resource room. Identifying these options – who, where and when – will give your child and teacher options for their health and well-being.
  • Sharing their feelings and experiences at school under the guidance of qualified professionals

Connecting with the staff at your local Parent Center.

There are nearly 100 Parent Training and Information (PTIs) and Community Parent Resource Centers (CPRCs) in the US and its Territories.  All exist to:

  • Work with families of infants, toddlers, children, and youth with disabilities, birth to 26
  • Help parents participate effectively in their children’s education and development
  • Partner with professionals and policy makers to improve outcomes for all children with disabilities

While the services at or how each Parent Center works with families varies, this network of trained staff helps at no charge.  Staff are also family members, often parents, siblings or caregivers of a child with disabilities and/or special health care needs.  You can connect with your local parent center for training, support and individual assistance. This might include adding all, or parts of the “deployment plan” to your child’s IEP or other education plan.

If the school, or individual teachers, don’t have much experience with children and deployment, you can share this resource with them:

Educators’ Guide to the Military Child During Deployment (from the US Department of Education)

You can also get help in working with your child’s school and teachers from the School Liaison office at your installation, or from the Family Assistance Coordinator in your state if your service member is in the National Guard.

You can find the School Liaison office through your installation’s Family Services or Community Services Center; Family Assistance professionals can be located through this article on Military Onesource. Scroll down to “Family Assistance Centers” at the bottom of the article.

MIC3-School Issues Covered by the Interstate Compact

This resource gives you details about situations covered by the Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children (“MIC3”).  Use it to help you decide if you can apply the Compact to resolve a school issue for your child. Then you can follow the Step-by-Step Checklist to use the Compact for your child’s situation.

Transferring records, enrollment, immunizations

The Compact allows military parents to hand-carry “unofficial” (temporary) school records from the sending school to give to the receiving school:

  • Unofficial records need to include attendance records, academic information, and grade placement
  • The sending school can charge you a reasonable fee for making the copies.
  • The receiving school must use the unofficial records for your child’s enrollment.
  • It’s the receiving school’s responsibility to immediately ask for an official set of records (transcript) from the sending school. The sending school must send out the official records within 10 days.
  • Immunizations (shots to protect against certain diseases): If your child hasn’t already had the shots the receiving school requires, you have 30 days to get the shots after the date of enrollment.
  • If your child needs a series of shots to be immunized, he or she must get the first shot in the series within the 30 days.

 Kindergarten or First Grade Starting Ages

If your child was enrolled and already attending Kindergarten in her old school, the new school must let her go to Kindergarten even if the age requirement is different.

  • If your child should be starting first grade, the Compact says that if your child completed the previous grade in the sending school (including Kindergarten) they can enroll in the next grade at the receiving school, even if the age requirements are different.
  • If you are enrolling your child during the school year, they can enter the school in the grade they were in at the sending school.

Additional information to give to the school:

  • Make sure the letter or transcript from the sending school shows your child’s attendance in Kindergarten, if the issue is about Kindergarten eligibility.

Special Education, Accommodations and Modifications

Parent Centers can help when you have an issue with your child’s IEP, Section 504 Plan, etc.  Parent Centers are federally-funded organizations in each State, District of Columbia, and US Territories. They work with families of infants, toddlers, children, and youth with disabilities, birth to 26. They will work with you, so you can resolve issues relating to your child’s disabilities. Parent Centers can help you whether your child attends a public school or a Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA) school.

The Compact says that the receiving school shall follow the laws that apply to students getting special education services or students that have accommodations and modifications. These are federal laws that apply to every State and in Washington, DC.

This means that the receiving school follows your child’s current IEP, Section 504 or ADA Title II Plan. For an IEP, comparable (similar) services and supports are provided; for Section 504 or ADA Title II plans, reasonable accommodations or modifications are made to provide your child with equal access to education. In either case, the receiving school can evaluate your child later to see if their IEP, 504 or Title II Plan is still an appropriate placement for your child.

Additional information to give the school:

  • If your child has an Individualized Education Program (IEP), or a Section 504 or ADA Title II plan, keep paper copies of the plan or program, service agreements, evaluations and progress reports. Keep records from non-school sources as well. Give them to the receiving school with the other school records.

Repeating courses

Under the Compact, receiving schools have flexibility to waive (not apply to your child) requirements for specific classes or courses needed for placement in the receiving school’s courses or programs.

Additional information to give the school:

  • Show that the class or classes your child took at the sending school cover the same, or very similar material as the one the receiving school wants them to take.

Example: The receiving school requires a Civics class in 7th grade. Your child took a class called “Federal, State and Local Government” in 6th grade at the sending school. Your child’s academic records should show that he or she took the 6th grade class. If more information is needed, the sending school could send information about the class to the receiving school about what material was covered in the 6th grade course.

You could contact the sending school directly or ask your School Liaison for help.

 Getting the right program or course placement 

Both Parent Centers and School Liaisons may be helpful with this concern.

  • Under the Compact, after enrollment, the receiving school must place your child in the appropriate courses or programs based on the courses and programs they were in at the sending school.
  • If the receiving school doesn’t have such a course or program, but another school in the same District does, the receiving school can let your child attend classes or programs where they are available.
  • The receiving school can evaluate your child later to see if they are eligible for the receiving school’s classes or programs, under the receiving school’s rules about eligibility.

Graduation Requirements (also see “Repeating Courses”)

  • The Compact says the receiving school shall waive (not apply to your child) specific courses needed for graduation if your child has satisfactorily completed similar coursework in another school district. If the receiving school doesn’t waive the requirement, they must give a “reasonable justification for denial”.

Additional information to give the school:

  • Show that the class or classes your child took at the sending school cover the same, or very similar material as the one the receiving school wants them to take.

Example: The receiving school requires three mathematics classes for graduation. At the sending school your child passed courses in Algebra, Geometry, and Everyday Math. The receiving school doesn’t offer Everyday Math but does offer a course called Applied Mathematics. Provide a comparison of the course descriptions from both the sending and receiving schools to show that your child has taken equivalent coursework. If more information is needed, the sending school could send information about the class to the receiving school about what material was covered.

You could contact the sending school directly or ask your School Liaison for help.

  • If your child already qualified to graduate from the sending school (all required coursework completed satisfactorily), and the receiving school does NOT waive their own required coursework, the receiving school must give him or her an “alternative means” of getting the required coursework so your child can graduate on time.
  • If your child transfers to the receiving school at the beginning of or during his or her Senior year, and even after all alternatives have been looked at, your child is still not eligible to graduate from the receiving school; then, if he or she is eligible to graduate from the sending school, the receiving school and sending school shall make sure your child gets a diploma from the sending school.
  • “Exit” exams: the receiving state shall accept exams from the sending state that are required for graduation. These include end-of-course exams, national norm-referenced achievement tests, and alternative testing, in place of testing requirements for graduation in the sending state.

If your child is transferring to the receiving school in his or her senior year, and the receiving school can’t accept the exams from the sending school, then the receiving school must arrange for your child to get their diploma from the sending school.

Extra-curricular Activities

  • States and local schools can be flexible so military children can be in sports and extracurricular activities, even if the child can’t meet an application deadline.
  • Your child will still have to meet the eligibility standards for the activity, such as tryouts for sports or a music program.

Deployment

  • Under the Compact, schools can allow excused absences for a child whose military parent is called to duty for, is on leave from, or just returned from deployment to a combat zone or combat support posting.
  • It’s entirely up to the school administration whether to allow this or not
  • The school can limit the number or length of the excused absences to make sure your child doesn’t miss too much school.

Your child is or will be living with another family member, non-custodial parent, or guardian (Family Care Plan)

Under the Compact, a military child can keep going to the school in the school or district they have been attending, even if the person they are living with is in a different school district.

  • The school district can’t charge local tuition under these circumstances
  • The person taking care of your child is responsible for transportation (not the school or district).

Additional information to give the school:

  • Copy of your Family Care Plan, and if necessary, any special Powers of Attorney or custody orders, if not given to the school earlier.

Additional help and information:

Information about Compact officials in your state and their roles (click on a state in the interactive Map)

PDF with active links showing steps to resolve issues above the individual school level

Contact form to request help with a school issue 

Find Compact legislation in your state

MIC3 Step-by-Step Checklist-Resolve School Issues with the Interstate Compact

This resource shows you specific steps to take to resolve school issues for your child, using the Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children.  It gives you contact information for people who can help you for different situations covered by the Compact.  To help you decide if your child’s situation is covered by the Compact, use MIC3-School Issues Covered by the Interstate Compact.

The Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children (“the Compact”) is an agreement among all 50 States and the District of Columbia to address certain school transition issues for military children consistently, from State to State. It’s often known by the acronym MIC3 (“mick-three”) after the commission responsible for designing it and getting it passed as legislation.

Your child is covered under the Compact if he or she is a school-aged child enrolled in kindergarten through 12th grade, when their parent is a:

  • Active duty member of the uniformed services, including members of the National Guard and Reserve on active duty orders (Title 10)
  • Member or veteran who are medically discharged or retired for one year
  • Member who died on active duty, for a period of one year after death
  • Uniformed member of the Commissioned Corps of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), and United States Public Health Services (USPHS)

General Information: What the Compact helps with:

  1. Transferring school records and getting your child enrolled; Immunizations
  2. Kindergarten and First Grade starting ages
  3. Special Education, Accommodations and Modifications
  4. Having to repeat courses; Getting the right program or course placement
  5. Graduation requirements
  6. Extra-curricular activities such as being in a club or playing sports
  7. Deployment
  8. Your child is or will be living with another family member or guardian (Family Care Plan)

Your responsibilities:

Basic documents package:

  • Official military orders
  • Family care plan or proof of guardianship if the child lives with a legal guardian
  • Shot record (immunizations)
  • Letter or transcript from the sending school showing attendance, academic information and grade placement
  • Birth certificate

Keep paper copies of all educational records from each school. If your child has an Individualized Education Program (IEP), or a Section 504 or ADA Title II plan, keep paper copies of the plan or program, service agreements, evaluations and progress reports. Keep records from non-school sources too.

Step-by-Step Suggestions for Using the Compact:

Step 1: Try to resolve the issue at the school level.  You might wish to do this on your own, or you can ask for help from your Parent Center ( for issues about special education, supports and services, Section 504 or ADA Title II Plan) or your School Liaison.

  • Contact your child’s school principal or other top-level school administrator
  • Keep a written record of what happens. To have a record, either contact by email, or if you speak to them in person or by phone, send a follow-up email or letter (keep a copy of the letter).
  • When you get a response, keep the response email or letter.
  • Keep all emails or letters about this issue in the folder or binder where you keep all your child’s school records and information.

You can usually find email information on your child’s school or district website, or you can call the school’s front office.

What you might put in the letter or email:

  • Describe the issue
  • State that your child is covered by the Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children
  • Describe what you have already done (provided documents, called the school, etc.)
  • Ask the school to resolve the issue
  • Ask for a response by email or by letter
  • You may wish to include, or attach:
  • A copy of or link to the Compact rules document
  • Copies of your child’s basic document package and any additional information needed

Step 2: If the issue is not fixed by the school’s principal or top administrator, contact either your School Liaison or Parent Center (depending on the issue) for help. They are familiar with the process and can connect with the most useful staff to resolve your child’s situation.

 For most issues, contact your School Liaison:

School Liaisons connect students and families with information, resources and people. They are the point of contact between an installation’s military families and local schools and school districts. They are experts in the complications that can come up when a family PCS-s to a new duty station.

 For Special Education, Accommodations and Modifications, contact your Parent Center (can also be helpful for Program and Course Placement).

Parent Centers are federally-funded organizations in each State, District of Columbia, and US Territories. They work with families of infants, toddlers, children, and youth with disabilities, birth to 26. They will work with you, so you can resolve issues relating to your child’s disabilities. Parent Centers can help you whether your child attends a public school or a Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA) school.

More assistance and information:

Contact form to request help with a school issue 

Find Compact legislation in your state

Information about Compact officials in your state and their roles (click on a state in the interactive Map)

PDF with active links showing steps to resolve issues above the individual school level