Tag: discipline

How to Navigate School for Youth with Mental Health Concerns

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Staff from PAVE’s Parent Training and Information (PTI) program provided a workshop as part of the statewide virtual conference hosted by NAMI Washington October 16, 2021.

This recorded training provides a general overview of student rights in education. Some information is specific to students impacted by mental health conditions.

The formal content begins about four minutes into the video and ends at about 46 minutes.

Here are a few examples of topics addressed:

  • Does my student have the right to be evaluated for special education if they refuse to go to school because of anxiety?
  • What accommodations are reasonable to ask for?
  • What services might be possible for my student who struggles with emotional regulation?
  • Can counseling be a related service?
  • Are there protections for a student because of suicidal thoughts or attempts?
  • What support is available for a student with a disability condition who isn’t prepared for adulthood because high school got interrupted by the pandemic?

Additional information about mental health education and services at school, the overall layout of youth behavioral health in Washington State, and where to find family support is included in a PAVE article: Mental Health Education and Support at School can be Critical.

To seek education, training, and support from the National Alliance on Mental illness, look for a virtual training or information about a local affiliate near you, listed on the NAMI WA website.

One place to access behavioral health services for children and youth anywhere in Washington is through the Seattle Children’s Hospital Mental Health Referral Service: 833-303-5437, Monday-Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Families and young people can reach out for individualized assistance from PAVE’s Parent Training and Information (PTI) staff at PAVE. Click Get Help or call 800-572-7368.

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Social Emotional Learning, Part 3: Tools for Regulation and Resiliency

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

A Brief Overview

  • Children who are taught self-regulation are more resilient and learn better in academics and more. This article describes a few practical tools and techniques that are aspects of Social Emotional Learning (SEL).
  • “Kids do well if they can,” says Ross W. Greene, a child psychologist and author. In a short YouTube video, Greene says, “The biggest favor you can do a challenging kid is to finally, at long last, be the person who figures out what’s getting in his way.”
  • PAVE provides additional articles about Social Emotional Learning.
  • Washington’s Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) provides SEL learning activities for families and educators. OSPI also provides free online SEL training, links to information about SEL state learning standards, and more on the Social and Emotional Learning page of its website: k12.wa.us.

Full Article

When children act out at school, what does the teacher do? The answer depends on the discipline policies of the school, but research indicates that suspending and expelling students is ineffective for improving behavior and can cause harm (NIH.gov).

Social Emotional Learning (SEL) in schools marks a shift toward education that promotes self-regulation, resiliency, problem-solving skills, and more. “Kids do well if they can,” says Ross W. Greene, who explains his statement in a short YouTube video. Greene is a clinical child psychologist and author of the books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings.

By accepting the logic that kids do well if they can, adults shift away from believing that kids behave only if they “want to” and allows for problem-solving, Greene says: “The biggest favor you can do a challenging kid is to finally, at long last, be the person who figures out what’s getting in the way [of doing well].”

Behavior is communication: “Get curious, not furious”

Adults can consider behavior as a form of communication and seek to understand the function of the behavior. One educator refers to this approach as “Getting Curious (Not Furious) With Students.” In the article, posted to Edutopia.org June 29, 2016, Rebecca Alber says, “When teachers get curious instead of furious, they don’t take the student’s behavior personally, and they don’t act on anger. They respond to student behaviors rather than react to them.”

Alber lists the primary benefits to schools when they promote SEL and trauma-informed approaches to discipline:

  • Improved student academic achievement
  • Less student absences, detentions, and suspensions
  • Reduction of stress for staff and students and less bullying and harassment
  • Improved teacher sense of job satisfaction and safety

Tip: Request a Functional Behavior Assessment

A Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) may be necessary in circumstances where behavior consistently impedes learning. Schools can use FBA data to build an individualized Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP). A BIP may support an Individualized Education Program (IEP) or could be a stand-alone plan for any student.

When using positive behavior support strategies, adults can avoid judging behavior with labels such as bad, non-compliant, defiant, uncooperative, etc. Researchers have found that those labels often refer to adult perception and frustration about what is happening more than they explain what a child may be trying to express.

Family caregivers might read through a student’s Individualized Education Program (IEP), a behavior plan, disciplinary referrals, or other notes from the school to notice what type of language is being used to describe what’s happening. Requesting a meeting to discuss an FBA and/or strategy for SEL skill-building is an option.

Raw moments are opportunities to teach from the heart

Heather T. Forbes, author of Help for Billy, is among professionals designing new ways to help children cope and learn. Emotional instruction is crucial, argues Forbes, whose website, Beyond Consequences, shares Trauma-Informed Solutions for parents, schools, and other professionals.

“It is in the moments when your child or student is most ‘raw’ and the most dysregulated [out of control],” Forbes writes, “that you are being presented with an opportunity to create change and healing. It takes interacting from not just a new perspective but from an entirely new paradigm centered in the heart.”

In an article, Teaching Trauma in the Classroom, Forbes concludes: “These children’s issues are not behavioral. They are regulatory. Working at the level of regulation, relationship, and emotional safety addresses more deeply critical forces within these children that go far beyond the exchanges of language, choices, stars and sticker charts.”

Regulation starts in the brain

SEL supports are informed by brain science. OSPI provides a free downloadable handbook, The Heart of Learning and Teaching: Compassion, Resiliency, and Academic Success. Included in Chapter One is a list of the brain regions affected by trauma. Understanding the amygdala as a center for fear, for example, can be critical for designing strategies to manage meltdowns. “Overstimulation of the amygdala…activates fear centers in the brain and results in behaviors consistent with anxiety, hyperarousal and hypervigilance,” the page informs.

Writing for Edutopia, Rebecca Alber recommends that teachers learn to understand and recognize impacts of trauma and to understand that apparent refusal to comply might actually be a trauma-based response.

“When we ask students to do high-level tasks, such as problem solving or design thinking,” Alber says, “it’s nearly impossible if they are in a triggered state of fight, flight, or freeze. This trauma state may look like defiance or anger, and we may perceive this refusal as choice, but it is not necessarily so.”

Use Your Words

Some teachers are turning directly to scientists for advice. Dan Siegel, a well-known neurobiologist and author, offers tips through his agency, Mindsight. Mindsight teaches how to “name and tame” emotions to keep from getting overwhelmed. For example, Siegel suggests learning the difference between these two sentences:

  1. I am sad.
  2. I feel sad.

The first statement “is a kind of limited self-definition,” Siegel argues, while the second statement “suggests the ability to recognize and acknowledge a feeling, without being consumed by it.”

Encourage rather than simply praise

Word choice can be critical in trauma-informed instruction. Jody McVittie, a pediatrician who started Sound Discipline, based in Seattle, gives workshops for parents and teachers. She talks about the difference between praise and encouragement in a training called Building Resiliency. Instead of saying “Great Job,” which can trigger an emotional response but may not reinforce learning, a teacher or parent might say instead:

  • “I noticed that you wrote all of the letters of your name on the line and it was really easy to read.”
  • “I appreciate that you asked some insightful questions during our discussion about the Constitution today.”
  • “I know you can write a creative description of the book you read.”

The more specific the encouragement, McVittie says, the more the student will be encouraged to keep working on that expected behavior. Another of McVittie’s key concepts is “connection before correction” to help teachers create helpful relationships with students. An example she uses in her trainings:

A teenaged student tossed a soda can from across the room during class. A trauma-trained teacher pointed to the hallway, and the boy joined her there. Instead of directing him to the office, the teacher explained that she really enjoyed having him in class. She said that he contributed valuable questions. Then she asked why he thought he was in the hallway. He said it was because he threw the soda can. She asked, “What’s your plan?” His answer included apologies and decision-making about how to avoid the mistake again.

This story certainly could have ended differently, and McVittie encourages educators and parents to avoid a “Dignity Double-Bind,” where children experience shame instead of problem-solving:

“Make the child think,” she says, “by showing respect instead of giving orders to obey.”

A Self-Regulation Strategy for Right Now

Sometimes grace starts with self-care. Following is a breathing practice you can use right now to help your nervous system regulate. If you prefer, you can watch a short video from PAVE that demonstrates this technique: Stop and Settle with Five-Fingers Breath.

You will be breathing evenly as you trace the outline of your hand, giving your eyes and your mind something to focus on while you control your breath.

  • Hold up one hand, with your palm facing you.
  • Place the first finger of your other hand onto the bottom of your thumb.
  • As you breathe in, slide your finger up to the top of your thumb.
  • Breathing out, slide your finger into the valley between your thumb and first finger.
  • Breathing in, slide up your first finger. Breathing out, slide down the other side.
  • Continue following your breath up and down all your fingers.
  • When you breathe out down the outside edge of your pinkie, continue to exhale until you reach your elbow.
  • Notice how you feel. Allow your breath to find a natural pattern.

Now that you’ve learned this technique, you can share it with other family members!

State Standards Guide Social Emotional Learning for all Ages and Abilities

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

A Brief Overview

  • Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is a lifelong process through which children and adults effectively manage emotions, reach toward goals, experience empathy, maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.
  • In school, all students participate in SEL as part of Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS). Specific SEL instruction can also be part of a student’s Individualized Education Program (IEP).
  • Washington State adopted formal Social Emotional Learning Standards January 1, 2020. The Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) provides an SEL website page with resources for educators, families, and community members.
  • A 12-page SEL equity brief focuses specifically on issues of equity as they relate to race, culture, and economic status.
  • A state law that took effect June 11, 2020, further compels work related to SEL. HB 2816, which was inspired and supported by activist parents, requires the Washington State School Directors’ Association (WSSDA) to develop a model policy “for nurturing a positive social and emotional school and classroom climate.”

Full Article

A child’s ability to understand, communicate, and manage emotions is critical to learning. So are skills that enable a child to socialize, self-motivate, empathize, and work collaboratively. Schools call this area of education Social Emotional Learning (SEL).

SEL is not just for children. According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), “SEL is the process through which children and adults understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.”

Students with disabilities may qualify for Specially Designed Instruction (SDI) in social and/or emotional areas of learning as part of an Individualized Education Program (IEP). Eligibility for SDI is determined through evaluation, and schools use various instruments to assess whether a student has a disability affecting social or emotional skills to an extent that education is significantly impacted. If so, the student’s IEP will support learning in those social/emotional areas, and goal-monitoring will track skill growth.

Students with IEPs are not the only ones who receive SEL instruction, however. Schools may use curricula to promote emotional understanding, social stories, mindfulness programs, communication circles or other strategies as part of Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS). MTSS is a framework for improving school-wide social, emotional, and cultural climate. Schools that adopt an MTSS framework deliver SEL to all students (Tier 1) and generally offer Tier 2 and Tier 3 programming to targeted groups or individual students.

Parenting Tip: Ask whether your school uses an MTSS framework

Family caregivers can ask school staff and administrators whether the district operates within an MTSS framework.

  • If the answer is no, ask how school climate is addressed and how SEL is integrated into school-wide programming.
  • If the answer is yes, ask what SEL instruction looks like in the general education classroom (Tier 1) and how specialized lessons are provided to students with higher levels of need (Tiers 2-3). Note that a student who does not qualify for an IEP could demonstrate the need for social/emotional instruction beyond what is provided to most students. Family caregivers can ask for detail about how the school’s MTSS system supports any specific student.

State adopts six SEL standards

Washington State adopted formal Social Emotional Learning Standards January 1, 2020. The Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI), which provides guidance to all public and non-public educational agencies in the state, provides an SEL website page with resources for educators, families, and community members. Included is a link to the official letter in which State Superintendent Chris Reykdal adopted the standards, and a collection of resources to support SEL implementation and to further understanding about how families and communities can participate.

A primary document is the 24-page Social Emotional Learning Standards, Benchmarks, and Indicators, which defines the six SEL learning standards and various benchmarks under each. An extensive chart offers practical guidance for assessing each standard for students in Early Elementary, Late Elementary, Middle School, and High School/Adult. The SEL learning standards include:

  1. SELF-AWARENESS – Individuals have the ability to identify their emotions, personal assets, areas for growth, and potential external resources and supports.
  2. SELF-MANAGEMENT – Individuals have the ability to regulate emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.
  3. SELF-EFFICACY – Individuals have the ability to motivate themselves, persevere, and see themselves as capable.
  4. SOCIAL AWARENESS – Individuals have the ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others from diverse backgrounds and cultures.
  5. SOCIAL MANAGEMENT – Individuals have the ability to make safe and constructive choices about personal behavior and social interactions.
  6. SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT – Individuals have the ability to consider others and show a desire to contribute to the well-being of the school and community.

Developmental milestones are charted with a variety of statements that might demonstrate the skill or disposition within an age range.  

  • For example, a late elementary age student might show self-awareness this way: “I can identify and describe physical symptoms and thoughts related to my emotions and feelings (e.g., hot, shoulders tight).”
  • A middle-school student might demonstrate self-efficacy this way: “I can identify specific human and civil rights and freedoms to which everyone is entitled and can understand how to advocate for myself in healthy ways.”

Tip for Parents: Promote SEL at home

Included on the SEL website page is a list of learning activities for families and educators. The eight-page guide includes links to videos, websites, and ready-to-use resources to encourage positive behavior support and helpful communication at home and at school.  Resources are sorted by age and marked to indicate whether they are best suited for family caregivers, teachers, or both.

  • For example, parents of children K-5 might want to click on SEL Games to Play With Your Child to find a resource from Understood.org. One game, Starfish and Tornadoes, helps kids notice how much energy they are feeling inside and when they might need to use their calming skills or ask for help from a trusted adult.
  • A suggestion for grades 5-12 is to Practice Loving-Kindness for Someone you Care About. That exercise from Greater Good in Education provides adaptations for students with disabilities and suggests ways to make the project culturally responsive.

Another document accessible through OSPI’s website is a three-page guide for parents and families, which includes resource linkages to free online training, parenting cue cards with quick answers to typical concerns, and access to other websites with tools and advice specific for various stages of child development. Also included are tips to promote SEL at home by encouraging a child to:

  • Identify and name their emotions, feelings, and thoughts.
  • Identify positive and negative consequences of actions.
  • Demonstrate the ability to follow routines and generate ideas to solve problems.
  • Create a goal and track progress toward achieving that goal.
  • Identify feelings expressed by others.
  • Identify ways that people and groups are similar and different.
  • Demonstrate attentive listening skills without distraction.
  • Identify and take steps to resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways.
  • Demonstrate a sense of community responsibility

SEL guidance supports equity and inclusion

  • Principles listed throughout the state SEL guidance include:
  • Equity: Each child receives what he or she needs to develop his or her full potential.
  • Cultural responsiveness: Culture is viewed as a resource for learning, not a barrier.
  • Universal design: Learning differences are planned for and accommodated.
  • Trauma-informed: Knowledge of the effects of trauma is integrated into policy and practice.

State guidance that describes the SEL standards and benchmarks includes this statement: “Social emotional learning (SEL) happens over the course of a day, a lifetime, and in every setting in which students and adults spend their time.… Effectively supporting social emotional development in schools requires collaboration among families and communities. It also involves building adult capacity to support a school climate and culture that recognizes, respects, and supports differences in abilities, experiences, and ethnic and cultural differences, and celebrates diversity.”

A 12-page SEL equity brief focuses specifically on issues of equity as they relate to race, culture, and economic status. “A white, middle-class model of self that values independence dominates schools,” the brief states. “Students of color and students in low-income communities often experience ‘cultural mismatch’ in education settings that expect forms of expression and participation not aligned with their culture.

“Without explicit attention to equity and cultural diversity, prevalent SEL frameworks, models, and curricula may not adequately reflect the diverse worldviews of students and families.”

Parenting Tip: Attend your local school board meeting to influence decisions

The state’s SEL implementation guide is intended for local districts to use in developing their own school- or community-specific plan to meet the needs of all learners. Because Washington is a local control state, each district is responsible for policy development.

Families have the option of making public comment at meetings to share thoughts or concerns. School board meetings are required monthly and must follow the state’s Open Public Meetings Act (Chapter 42.30 in the Revised Code of Washington). Families can reach out to their local district for information about how and when school boards meet. The Washington State School Directors’ Association provides a guidebook about the rules for Open Public Meetings. The rules apply in any meeting space or platform.

HB 2816 promotes positive school climate

A state law that took effect June 11, 2020, further compels work related to SEL. HB 2816, which was inspired and supported by activist parents, requires the Washington State School Directors’ Association (WSSDA) to develop a model policy “for nurturing a positive social and emotional school and classroom climate.”

The model policy and procedures for its implementation includes specific elements to “recognize the important role that students’ families play in collaborating with the school and school district in creating, maintaining, and nurturing a positive social and emotional school and classroom climate.” In addition, districts “must provide information to the parents and guardians of enrolled students regarding students’ rights to a free public education, regardless of immigration status or religious beliefs; and school districts must provide meaningful access to this information for families with limited English proficiency.”

In accordance with HB 2816, the WSSDA website will post the model policy and procedure by March 1, 2021. School districts are responsible to incorporate the guidance by the beginning of the 2021-22 school year: “School districts may periodically review policies and procedures for consistency with updated versions of the model policy for nurturing a positive social and emotional school and classroom climate.”

SEL is linked to research about Adverse Childhood Experiences

A national movement to incorporate Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is informed by knowledge that trauma profoundly impacts educational outcomes. In the late 1990s, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released its first report about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). Dr. Vincent Felitti, then the CDC’s chief of preventive medicine, boldly proclaimed childhood trauma a national health crisis. The report led to development of an ACEs survey, which scores a person’s likelihood of suffering lifelong physical and mental health impairments resulting from trauma. An ACEs score of 4, the study found, makes a child 32 times more likely to have behavior problems at school.

The data inspired researchers and educators to seek new ways to help children cope so they can manage themselves at school—and in life. A variety of new evidence-based practices were developed to support childhood resiliency. The National Research Council issued this statement in 2012: “There is broad agreement that today’s schools must offer more than academic instruction to prepare students for life and work.”

The 2015 Washington State Legislature directed OSPI to convene an SEL Benchmarks workgroup, and Senate Bill 6620 in 2016 authorized development of a free online training module in SEL for school staff. The bill states that, “In order to foster a school climate that promotes safety and security, school district staff should receive proper training in developing students’ social and emotional skills.” Development of the state SEL Standards furthers that work.

Parenting tip: Work on your own SEL skills

Family caregivers play an important role in fostering SEL by working on their own self-regulation skills. The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) provides a wide array of resources, including some related to stressors from COVID-19. “We need to pay close attention to our own social emotional needs in order to be the community of adults who best serve our young people,” CASEL advises. “Practice continued self-care strategies, including eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising, and finding time to take breaks.” CASEL provides a checklist to reframe your thinking, including ideas about “all-or-nothing” or overgeneralization, for example.

PAVE provides a series of short mindfulness videos for all ages and abilities and offers additional mindfulness and parenting ideas in an article, Stay Home Help: Get Organized, Feel Big Feelings, Breathe.

Parents are a child’s primary SEL teachers

Family caregivers can help foster SEL skills by collaborating with the school. OSPI’s guidance includes this statement: “Parents and families are a child’s first teachers of SEL. As children grow, parents and families continue to support the social emotional lives of their children in the home.”

Here are a few questions parents might ask school staff to collaborate on SEL skill development:

  • How are you helping my child learn from mistakes?
  • If behavior is keeping my child from learning, what skill is lacking?
  • What is a best-practice strategy for teaching the skill that my child needs to learn?
  • Do you have a tool for understanding and regulating emotions that we can use at home also?
  • How is my child learning to “name and tame” emotions? (Dan Siegel, neurobiologist and author of Mindsight, suggests that recognizing and naming a feeling gives a person power to regulate the emotion.)
  • What positive reinforcement is being provided when my child demonstrates a new skill? How are those positive reinforcers tracked through data collection?
  • What is the plan to help my child calm down when dysregulation makes problem-solving inaccessible?
  • Would a Functional Behavior Assessment help us understand what my child is trying to communicate through this unexpected behavior?
  • Can we collaborate to develop a Behavior Intervention Plan so that we are using the same cues and language to support expected behavior?
  • What adult at the school is a “champion” for my child? (Dr. Bruce Perry, whose research supports trauma-informed initiatives, says, “Relationships are the agents of change and the most powerful therapy is human love.”)

Isolation and Restraint Practices Attract Media Attention

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Disability Rights Washington (DRW) has published a video about school use of isolation and restraint. The video, which is posted to YouTube, was produced by DRW’s media program called Rooted in Rights. DRW is a private non-profit organization with a mission to advance the dignity, equality, and self-determination of people with disabilities. The agency is staffed with attorneys who pursue justice on matters related to human and legal rights.

In Washington State, isolation and restraint may be used if “reasonably necessary to control spontaneous behavior that poses an imminent likelihood of serious harm,” as defined in the Revised Code of Washington (RCW 70.96B.010). The isolation/restraint ends when the imminent likelihood of harm has passed. These practices are considered emergency responses and not disciplinary actions.

The Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) describes specific reporting requirements for schools to inform parents and the state about isolation and restraint incidents.

PAVE’s website, wapave.org, provides several articles that include information about isolation and restraint practices. Articles also describe ways to incorporate positive behavior supports into school programs to reduce the need for emergency response. An article titled, Ideas and Resources to Support Your Child’s Behavior at School, is a place to start.

Another option to research information on the topic is to type the word “Behavior” into the search bar at wapave.org to find additional articles. A comprehensive article about policies related to discipline is titled, What Parents Need to Know when Disability Impacts Behavior and Discipline at School.

Educators and policy makers generally agree that an evidence-based method to keep everyone safe and learning at school is to incorporate Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS) into a school-wide program that focuses on a healthy school climate. PBIS is described in several of PAVE’s articles, including one contributed by University of Washington researcher Kelcey Schmitz: Positive Behavioral Interventions & Supports (PBIS) in Schools.

Implementation of PBIS varies widely across the state. Parents can ask their school district administrators about whether a PBIS framework is being used within the district.

 

 

Ideas and Resources to Support Your Child’s Behavior at School

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

A Brief Overview

  • Behavior specialists generally agree that difficult behaviors arise from unmet needs. How adults respond is critical if a child is going to learn new ways to communicate.
  • Humans spend about 80 percent of their brain energy trying to belong. This can explain a lot when a child with a disability feels isolated or unwanted and starts to act out.
  • Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS) is a framework that a growing number of schools nationwide are using to improve school climate, which refers to the way a school feels to students and staff.
  • Members of the U.S. Congress discussed PBIS on February 27, 2019, when a committee heard public testimony regarding a bill that would regulate use of isolation and restraint in public schools. Positive behavior interventions are considered “protective” by behavior experts, and there is evidence that isolation and restraint cause trauma.
  • Read on for questions families can consider when they are trying to understand what’s happening with a child and how to intervene for the best outcomes.

Full Article

Families and teachers often struggle to figure out what to do when a child’s behavior at school is getting in the way of learning.  How adults respond to unexpected behavior can impact whether an incident leads down a path of worsening problems or toward improved learning. Parents can help by understanding as much as possible about what the child might be trying to communicate or overcome.

“Difficult behaviors result from unmet needs,” says David Pitonyak, PhD, an educational consultant, author and public speaker who specializes in behavior supports for children with disabilities. Pitonyak speaks nationally and provides a variety of online tools to help families and educators.

One example is a free, online presentation, “All Behavior is Meaning-full.” In it, Pitonyak includes a list of what might be missing when an unmet need leads to a behavior incident:

  • Meaningful relationships
  • A sense of safety and well-being
  • Power
  • Things to look forward to
  • A sense of value and self-worth
  • Relevant skills and knowledge

“Supporting a person requires us to get to know the person as a complicated human being influenced by a complex personal history,” Pitonyak says. “While it is tempting to look for a quick fix, which usually means attacking the person and his or her behavior, suppressing behavior without understanding something about the life the person is living is disrespectful and counterproductive….

“Our challenge is to find out what the person needs so that we can be more supportive.”

A running theme in Pitonyak’s work is that adults need to strengthen their own social and emotional skills in order to effectively help children. He often quotes another specialist in the field, Jean Clark: “A person’s needs are best met by people whose needs are met.” In other words, parents and teachers need to practice self-care and regulate their own behaviors and emotions to provide the best examples to children. Read on for a check-list that adults can use to develop their own skills while they help children.

A brain’s biggest job is to belong

Pitonyak is among specialists who believe that children act out because they feel misunderstood, devalued, lonely or powerless. Other growing themes are the importance of belonging and the human need to contribute meaningfully to a social group. Neuroscientists have found that humans spend about 80 percent of their brain energy trying to belong. This can explain a lot when a child with a disability feels isolated or unwanted and starts to act out.

Parents can use these concepts in a variety of ways to participate in their child’s educational program. Here are examples of questions to ask in any meeting with a school:

  • Who are the adults at school that my child trusts?
  • Does my child have special jobs or responsibilities, so he/she feels important at school?
  • Is someone regularly checking in with my child to see what’s going on?
  • How are positive behavior skills being taught and reinforced?

Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS) is a framework that a growing number of schools nationwide are using to improve “school climate,” which refers to the way a school feels to its students and staff.

Schools that embrace PBIS generally create programs to help all students participate in well-being and then offer more targeted social, emotional and behavioral help to students who struggle the most. These different levels of intervention are called Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS). According to the federal PBIS website, “PBIS improves social, emotional and academic outcomes for all students, including students with disabilities and students from underrepresented groups.”

Information about federal guidelines and programs related to PBIS and MTSS are available online from the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP) and the Office of Elementary and Secondary Education (OESE). PAVE provides an article about PBIS, with parenting tips by Kelcey Schmitz, a longtime MTSS expert who previously worked for OSPI and now is part of the University of Washington’s School of Medicine and the School Mental Health Assessment, Research, & Training (SMART) Center.

PBIS is a protective strategy

The United States Congressional Committee on Education and Labor received training about PBIS on February 27, 2019, when they heard public testimony (YouTube video): Classrooms in Crisis: Examining the Inappropriate Use of Seclusion and Restraint Practices. Congress is considering legislation that would create a federal standard on accepted practice, accountability and training for teachers who might use isolation or restraint in an emergency.

National Public Radio reported about isolation and restraint in a June 5, 2019, broadcast that included personal comments from two families in Vancouver, Washington.

The State of Washington allows isolation and restraint by trained school staff if a student’s behavior poses an imminent threat of serious bodily harm. PAVE’s comprehensive article about discipline at school includes more information and resources about isolation and restraint, which is described by state law as an emergency response and not a form of disciplinary action.

Among those who provided public testimony for the U.S. Congress was George Sugai, PhD, professor of special education at the University of Connecticut who was a key developer of the PBIS framework. At the public hearing, Sugai spoke about the reduction in trauma among schools who embrace PBIS. He said teachers report more positive feelings toward their work and that students show more progress toward specific educational goals. “PBIS is a protective strategy,” he said.

The behavior itself holds the clues about what to do next

Sugai, who holds a Master of Arts and a PhD in special education from the University of Washington, spoke about understanding a child’s unmet needs. “We have to understand what children are communicating through their behavior,” he said. “The behavior itself holds the clues about what to do next.”

Washington’s Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI), which oversees the state’s school districts, has a variety of programs underway to address school climate and improve staff training in Social Emotional Learning, equity in student discipline and development of Compassionate Schools. The state encourages use of a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP), which promotes positive support and skill-building for expected school behavior. The plan is to prevent the need for disciplinary action or emergency response. A BIP is developed with data collected through a Functional Behavior Analysis (FBA), which is a best-practice tool for schools to figure out what help a student with challenging behavior might need. OSPI’s website includes examples of the FBA and BIP in its Model Forms.

OSPI’s family and community liaison, Scott Raub, partnered with a special services director from the Puget Sound’s Educational Service District 121 to create a slide presentation about isolation and restraint that is available as a free, downloadable PDF. The document is titled, Stop Using Restraint and Isolation: An Evolution or a REVOLUTION? The presentation includes specific guidance for school staff to use a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) as a strategy for managing behavior. A flow chart shows how early intervention might diffuse a situation to allow a student to remain in a more regulated state and stay in class. The document also provides detail about recent OSPI rulings about isolation and restraint raised through the Citizen’s Complaint process.

In accordance with the Revised Code of Washington (RCW 28A.600.485), “Restraint or isolation of any student is permitted only when reasonably necessary to control spontaneous behavior that poses an imminent likelihood of serious harm. Restraint or isolation must be closely monitored to prevent harm to the student, and must be discontinued as soon as the likelihood of serious harm has dissipated. Each school district shall adopt a policy providing for the least amount of restraint or isolation appropriate to protect the safety of students and staff under such circumstances.”

In the slide presentation, designed for schools and publicly available, OSPI provides detail about what “imminent likelihood of serious harm” can look like and provides direct guidance to staff, including these statements:

  • Emergency Response Protocols are NOT a substitute for BIPs.
  • BIPs must be updated as part of student’s annual IEP [review].
  • The time to end isolation and restraint is as soon as the likelihood of serious harm has dissipated; this is not equivalent to waiting until the student has calmed.

A state workgroup to study Social Emotional Learning (SEL) in October 2016 proposed a set of Standards and Benchmarks to help school staff identify how best to help children who struggle with their behavior, social skills and emotional regulation. The group established six standards with specific benchmarks. A report from that workgroup includes a chart of the standards (Page 3). Families can share this information with schools when trying to identify what’s happening with a child and what interventions might help.

Below is a brief overview of those SEL standards and a few questions parents can bring to the table. In each target area, parents can ask what school staff are doing to help. This check-list also can be a good starting-point for adults who want to work on their own emotional regulation and coping strategies.

1. Self-Awareness

  • Can the student identify and understand emotions?
  • What is the student good at or interested in?
  • How are family, school and community agencies helping as a team?

2.Self-Management

  • Can the student express emotions and manage stress constructively?
  • What problem-solving skills are in place or need to be learned?

3. Self-Efficacy (self-motivated/seeing self as capable)

  • Can the student understand and work toward a goal?
  • Can the student show problem-solving skills?
  • Can the student request what he/she needs?

4. Social Awareness

  • Can the student recognize another person’s emotions?
  • Can the student show respect for others who are different?
  • Can the student accept another cultural perspective?

5. Social Management

  • Does the student have ways to communicate?
  • Can the student take steps to resolve conflicts with other people?
  • Does the student have constructive relationships with a variety of people?

6. Social Engagement

  • Does the student feel responsibility as part of a community?
  • Can the student work with others to achieve a goal?
  • Does the student contribute productively and recognize his/her contribution?

Additional Resources

PAVE provides a series of three articles with more information and resources about Social Emotional Learning (SEL).

Many parents struggle in their communications with the school when a child’s specific disability and its impact on behavior is not well understood. A place to research specific disabilities related to mental health, such as Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD) is the Child Mind Institute.

A resource for better understanding how children might behave in response to trauma or Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) is the Children’s Health Foundation.

An agency called GoZen offers an online article about Eight Ways a Child’s Anxiety Shows up at Something Else. Included in the list: difficulty sleeping, anger, defiance, lack of focus, avoidance, negativity, over-planning and “chandeliering,” which refers to a full-blown tantrum that seemingly comes out of nowhere. In addition to its free online articles, GoZen provides fee-based programs on resilience.