Tag: social emotional learning

What Parents Need to Know when Disability Impacts Behavior and Discipline at School

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

This article includes: Information that you can view, download and print

Behavior is a form of communication. When a student struggles with behavior at school, it may be a sign that they need additional support, services, accommodations, or instruction. For students with disabilities, schools must look beyond discipline and consider what will help the student participate meaningfully in school. Repeated requests for early pickup, shortened school days, suspensions, or other lost instructional time can be signs that a different approach is needed to keep the student engaged in learning and making progress at school.

A Brief Overview

  • Behavior support can be part of a student’s right to Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE).
  • Schools must consider a student’s disability-related needs when behavior affects learning.
  • Repeated requests for early pickup, shortened school days, suspensions, or other lost instructional time can be signs that a different approach is needed to keep a student engaged in learning and making progress at school.
  • Families can request evaluations, school meetings, and the development or revision of behavioral supports.
  • Students continue to have educational rights during disciplinary removals.
  • Families have the right to ask questions, request records, and seek review or appeal when they disagree with discipline decisions.

Introduction

This article explains how school discipline can overlap with disability rights when behavior is connected to a student’s disability, trauma, or unmet support needs. It focuses on these practical questions:

  • When should families ask for evaluation or behavior support?
  • What counts as a removal from school?
  • What must schools consider before relying on suspension, expulsion, shortened school days, or other removals?
  • What rights do students and families have when they disagree with discipline decisions?

When Is Behavior a Sign That More Support Is Needed?

Students with disabilities have the right to the supports and services they need to learn and participate in school, a protection known as Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). Guidance from the Office for Civil Rights (OCR) explains that FAPE includes services, supports, and accommodations designed to meet a student’s individual needs, as well as training for school staff so they understand those needs and can effectively implement the student’s supports.

When behavior affects learning, participation, or access to instruction, schools should consider what additional supports, accommodations, services, instruction, or interventions may be needed. The goal is not simply to stop a behavior, but to understand what the behavior may be communicating and identify strategies that help the student succeed.

Behavior supports can take many forms, including:

  • Accommodations
  • Counseling or behavioral health services
  • Social-emotional instruction
  • Positive behavioral supports
  • Changes to an Individualized Education Program (IEP) or Section 504 Plan
  • Behavioral assessment and planning

Schools are required to provide education and support before resorting to discipline for children who struggle with behavior because of their impairments. According to OCR, individualized behavioral supports may include counseling, school social worker services, school-based mental health services, physical activity, and opportunities for a student to visit a counselor or behavioral coach when they need time and space to self-regulate. Counseling and other behavioral health supports can also be written into an IEP as related services when educationally necessary for FAPE.

When Should Families Ask for an Evaluation, Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA), or Behavioral Intervention Plan (BIP)?

An evaluation can be requested at any time if a disability may be affecting a child’s education. Schools also have a responsibility to evaluate when there is reason to suspect a disability is affecting learning, behavior, attendance, or participation in school.

An evaluation or school meeting may be helpful if:

  • A student is frequently suspended.
  • A student is often sent home because of behavior.
  • Behavior is interfering with learning.
  • Existing supports are not working.
  • School staff report ongoing concerns.
  • Instructional time is being lost because of behavior-related issues.

Section 504 does not limit the number of evaluations a student may reasonably request or receive. OCR guidance states that families may request an evaluation at any time and at public expense. Schools also have a responsibility to evaluate when there is reason to believe a disability is affecting a student’s education, known as Child Find.

A Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) is a type of evaluation used to better understand the reasons behind challenging behaviors and identify strategies that may help. An FBA is not required before asking for behavior supports. The IEP or 504 team can discuss behavior concerns, review existing supports, and consider changes to a student’s IEP, 504 Plan, or behavior supports at any time. PAVE offers a Sample Letter to Request a Functional Behavioral Assessment, available for download in multiple languages.

One type of behavior support is a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP). A BIP is a working document that the school and family develop together and review regularly to help a student succeed at school. It focuses on positive supports, skill building, and encouragement rather than punishment.

A BIP may include strategies to:

  • Teach new skills and replacement behaviors
  • Increase positive supports and reinforcement
  • Reduce barriers to learning and participation
  • Prevent future challenges and escalation.

The information gathered through an FBA can be used to develop, review, or revise a BIP when current strategies are not meeting a student’s needs.

More information about participating in the FBA/BIP process is available in PAVE’s video training, Behavior and School: How to Participate in the FBA/BIP Process.

What Happens When Behavior Leads to Discipline?

Washington’s student-discipline rules encourage schools to keep students connected to learning whenever possible and to use responses that are fair and consistent. In 2025, the Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) updated the student-discipline rules and added a definition for discretionary discipline, which refers to situations where school staff have flexibility in choosing how to respond to behavior. Rather than using the same consequence every time, staff may consider the circumstances before deciding on a response.

A student may be removed from a classroom, instructional area, or activity when behavior substantially disrupts learning or creates safety concerns. This type of action is often called a classroom exclusion (WAC 392-400) Time away from the classroom may last for the remainder of the school day, up to the following two school days, or until the teacher and principal (or designee) have met, whichever occurs first. If the exclusion extends beyond those limits, it may be considered a suspension and additional requirements may apply.

District policies must include procedures for informing parents when classroom exclusions occur. Notification must be provided in a language families can understand.

Questions to consider include:

  • Why was the student removed?
  • How long will the exclusion last?
  • What support will help the student return successfully?
  • How is the removal being documented?

Washington’s discipline rules also:

  • Encourage schools to minimize suspensions and expulsions and focus on evidence-based approaches that keep students engaged in learning.
  • Prohibit exclusion because of absences or tardiness.
  • Require absences related to mental health to be excused.
  • Limit exclusionary discipline for behaviors that do not present a safety threat.
  • Require educational services during suspensions and expulsions.

What Counts as a Removal From School?

Any disciplinary action that takes a student away from their regular educational placement can count as a removal from school.

Examples of removals include:

  • Out-of-school suspension
  • In-school suspension
  • Expulsion
  • Emergency removal
  • Removal from class, activities, or part of the school day because of behavior

These actions are also referred to as exclusionary discipline because they remove a student from some or all of their educational program.

Repeated requests to pick up a student early can result in significant missed instruction. Understanding how these removals are affecting the student’s school day can start with a few key questions:

  • How much instruction is my child missing?
  • Are these removals being documented?
  • Why is my child being removed instead of receiving additional support?
  • Does my child need an evaluation, new accommodations, or additional services?

A shortened school day should not be an automatic response to behavior challenges. Before reducing a student’s school day, schools should consider whether additional supports, services, accommodations, instruction, or behavioral interventions could help the student participate successfully in a full day.

If the school reduces a student’s schedule because of behavior, the change could be considered a suspension. OCR’s guidance points out that a shortened school day is an example of a significant change of placement, and that placement changes require a re-evaluation process.

What Rights Continue During Suspensions and Other Removals?

A student’s right to education does not end because of a disciplinary removal. Washington law requires schools to provide educational services during suspensions, expulsions, and emergency removals (WAC 392-400-610). Educational services should help students continue participating in the general education curriculum and making educational progress.

When a student is suspended or expelled, families have the right to ask how educational services will continue, including:

  • What educational services will be provided?
  • How will instruction be delivered?
  • How will assignments be completed?
  • Who should we contact with questions?
  • How will progress be monitored?

Educational services provided in an alternative setting must enable the student to:

  • Continue to participate in the general education curriculum
  • Meet the educational standards established within the district
  • Complete subject, grade-level, and graduation requirements.

Schools must report disciplinary and emergency removals to both the parent or guardian and the state. Written notice must include:

  • A description of the student’s behavior and how it violated district discipline policy.
  • The length of the suspension or expulsion.
  • Information about educational services.
  • Information about the right to request a conference.
  • Information about appeal rights.

The school district must provide notice in a language the student and parent or guardian can understand, including interpretation or translation when needed (WAC 392-400-455). 

What Happens When Families Disagree With a School’s Decision?

Families have the right to ask questions and request information when they disagree with disciplinary actions, evaluation decision, placement change, or denial of services.

Requests may include:

  • Written notice explaining the decision
  • School records related to the incident
  • An evaluation or reevaluation
  • An IEP or Section 504 meeting
  • An FBA or BIP
  • Information about educational services
  • Information about available appeal or dispute-resolution options

Washington’s discipline rules include procedures for notice, conferences, review, and appeals. Students receiving special education services may also have additional protections when disciplinary removals become lengthy or repeated.

When families disagree with decisions about evaluation, services, placement, or discipline, federal and state laws provide rights and dispute-resolution options. PAVE’s articles on dispute resolution and procedural safeguards offer practical guidance for understanding available options and next steps.

If a concern involves disability discrimination, an Office for Civil Rights (OCR) complaint may also be an option.

Learn More

The Governor’s Office of the Education Ombuds (OEO) provides information about Discipline, Suspensions, and Expulsions, and options for resolving concerns when families disagree with school decisions.

Schools are guided by the state to use best practices when evaluating and serving students with special needs. OSPI’s Model Forms for Services to Students in Special Education webpage has links to downloadable forms schools use to develop IEPs, Section 504 Plans, and more, including:

PAVE provides a Behavioral Health Toolkit that includes a video to support development of a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP).

The Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP) issued guidance in July 2022 that describes federal work underway to improve behavioral supports and reduce disciplinary removal of students receiving special education services. OSEP’s Dear Colleague Letter includes links to a Q and A document about disciplinary requirements and A Guide for Stakeholders.

Evaluations Part 1: Where to Start When a Student Needs Special Help at School

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

When a student is struggling in school and may have a disability, families can request a formal evaluation to explore eligibility for special education services. The process includes submitting a written referral, participating in a team-based assessment, and using the results to guide individualized supports. Even if a student doesn’t qualify for an IEP, other protections and accommodations may still be available. 

A Brief Overview 

  • Special Education is provided through the Individualized Education Program (IEP) for students with qualifying disabilities. 
  • Anyone with knowledge of a student’s needs can make a referral for evaluation. 
  • If a student is struggling and has a known or suspected disability, the school must evaluate to determine eligibility for special education. 
  • Referrals must be made in writing, and schools must support families in removing barriers to this process, including providing translation and interpretation. 
  • To qualify for an IEP, a student must meet three criteria: have a disability, experience adverse educational impact, and need Specially Designed Instruction (SDI). 
  • Families are active participants in the evaluation and IEP development process and may request revisions to evaluation summaries and IEP statements. 
  • Eligibility is determined based on how a disability affects learning, not solely on a medical diagnosis, and must fit one of 14 federally recognized categories. 
  • Schools follow specific timelines for responding to referrals, completing evaluations, and developing IEPs.  
  • PAVE provides Sample Letters to Support Families in Their Advocacy, including a Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation. 

Introduction

When a student is struggling in school and may have a disability, families have the right to ask for an evaluation to better understand their child’s needs. This process helps identify learning challenges and guides decisions about supports that can make school more accessible. Starting with a referral for evaluation, families and schools can work together to identify what a student needs to thrive with individually tailored school-based supports. 

Anyone with knowledge of a student’s learning or developmental needs can make a referral for special education evaluation. This includes parents, guardians, family members, teachers, school staff, counselors, early learning providers, and even community members. Referrals can be made for students ages 3–22 who are suspected of having a disability and may need special education services.

School districts are required to actively seek out and evaluate students who may need support. This responsibility is called Child Find, and it is part of the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).

Removing the Barriers to Evaluation

Schools must support individuals who are unable to write by helping them complete the referral in another format. This includes offering assistance in drafting the referral or providing alternative methods such as verbal requests or translated forms. The goal is to remove barriers that might prevent a family from initiating the evaluation process.

Schools are legally required to provide evaluation materials and meeting support in the family’s native language or preferred mode of communication. This includes oral translation, sign language interpretation, Braille, or other formats when written language is not used. During the evaluation process, districts must ensure that parents understand all documents and decisions, and must document that translation or interpretation was provided. For example, prior written notice must be translated orally or by other means, and the district must keep written evidence that the parent understood the content. These protections are outlined in the statewide Procedural Safeguards developed by the Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI).

Appropriate Evaluation

The IDEA requires schools to use “technically sound” instruments in evaluation. Generally, that means the tests are evidence-based as valid and reliable, and the school recruits qualified personnel to administer the tests. A single assessment tool, such as an Intelligence Quotient (IQ) test, is not enough to determine eligibility for special education services. Instead, schools must conduct a comprehensive, unbiased evaluation using multiple methods to understand a student’s unique educational needs. This process involves a team approach and includes parents or guardians as active participants. The results help guide decisions about how best to support the student’s learning.

Not every student who has a disability and receives an evaluation will qualify for an IEP. The school district’s evaluation asks 3 primary questions in each area of learning that is evaluated:

  1. Does the student have a disability?
  2. Does the disability adversely impact education?
  3. Does the student need Specially Designed Instruction (SDI)?

If the answer to all three questions is Yes, the student qualifies for an IEP.

Keep in mind that a student does not need to meet all three criteria to be evaluated. Under the Child Find Mandate of IDEA, the school district must evaluate a child if there is a known or suspected disability that may have significant impact on learning. 

From Evaluation Results to IEP

Information, or data, collected during the evaluation is essential for developing the IEP. One of the most important outcomes of the evaluation is determining whether the student needs Specially Designed Instruction (SDI), which is the “special” in special education. The evaluation determines whether SDI is needed to help a student overcome barriers and access learning in ways that work best for them.

SDI is tailored instruction that helps a student overcome barriers caused by a disability and access learning in ways that work best for them. This may include changes in content, teaching strategies, or learning environments. For example, SDI might involve breaking tasks into smaller steps, using visual supports, or providing extra time for assignments. These supports are designed to help the student make meaningful progress in school.

Understanding how SDI works can help families participate more fully in IEP development. Asking questions about SDI can lead to more effective planning and collaboration. For example:

  • What specific instruction will be provided?
  • Who will deliver it?
  • How will progress be measured?

These questions can guide meaningful conversations during IEP meetings and ensure that the IEP reflects the student’s strengths, challenges, and learning needs.

To learn more, watch PAVE’s three-part video series: Student Rights, IEP, Section 504, and More.

In What Areas Can a Student Be Evaluated?

When a parent signs consent for an evaluation, looking through the list of areas the school intends to evaluate is important to ensure that all concerning areas are included. Families can request additional areas to include in the evaluation, including a Functional Behavioral Assessment, for example.

Keep in mind that strengths are measured alongside challenges and can provide important details. An IEP should always include statements about what the student does well, and the IEP team uses this information to reinforce and build on strengths throughout the program.

Below is an infographic showing skill areas that are commonly evaluated:

Areas of evaluation

Download In What Areas Can a Student Be Evaluated?:
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Eligibility Categories for Special Education

Once a student’s evaluation confirms a disability that impacts learning, the next step is to determine whether the disability fits one of 14 federally recognized categories. These categories are outlined in Washington’s Administrative Code (WAC 392-172A-01035):

  • Autism
  • Emotional Disturbance
  • Multiple Disabilities
  • Specific Learning Disability
  • Visual Impairment / Blindness
  • Deaf-Blindness
  • Hearing Impairment
  • Orthopedic Impairment
  • Speech/Language Impairment
  • Developmental Delay (ages 0-8)
  • Deafness
  • Intellectual Disability
  • Other Health Impairment
  • Traumatic Brain Injury

These categories are intentionally broad to reflect the diverse ways disabilities can affect learning. The IEP team may discuss which category best fits the student’s unique situation. While a medical diagnosis can help inform the process, eligibility is determined by how the disability impacts the student’s education. This impact can be assessed with or without a formal diagnosis.

There is no such thing as a “behavior IEP” or an “academic IEP.” Once a student qualifies, the school is responsible for addressing all identified areas of need. The IEP is personalized to include programming, services, and placement designed to support the whole child.

In Washington State, children through age 9 may be eligible for services under the category of Developmental Delay. Full definitions for each category are available in WAC 392-172A-01035 and are also reproduced in this PAVE article: Washington Special Education Categories.

Timeline of Evaluation and Development of an IEP

The school follows set timelines for the evaluation process:

  • The school has 25 school days to respond to a written referral.
  • If they agree to evaluate the student, they have 35 school days from the date the family signs consent to complete the evaluation and provide results to the family.
  • After that, the district must wait at least 5 school days, but no more than 40 school days from consent, to hold the eligibility determination meeting.
  • If the student is found eligible, an IEP must be developed within 30 calendar days of that eligibility determination meeting.

Track your student’s progress from the point of referral for evaluation to the development of the IEP with the infographic below.

Timeline of Evaluation and development of an individualized education program (IEP)

Download the IEP Referral and Evaluation Timeline:
English

Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation

Washington law requires that referrals for special education evaluation be made in writing. If a verbal request was previously denied, start again with a formal written letter sent by email, certified mail, or delivered in person.

OSPI provides a downloadable referral form on its Making a Referral for Special Education page. The person making the referral can use this form or any other written format that clearly communicates the request to evaluate.

Address the referral to the district special education director or program coordinator, and include an administrator at the student’s school. Be sure to include the student’s full name and birthdate, a clear statement requesting evaluation in all areas of suspected disability, and specific concerns. Supporting documents or letters from doctors, therapists or other providers may be attached. Include complete contact information and a statement that the parent or guardian is prepared to sign consent for the evaluation to begin.

Download the Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation:
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Options When Families and Schools Disagree

Families can ask school staff to explain their decisions in writing. If a parent or guardian disagrees with something the school decides, they have rights to informal and formal dispute resolution options that are protected by the IDEA. Schools must provide a document called procedural safeguards, which outlines these options and explains the rights of both students and families. PAVE continues this topic in an article: Evaluations Part 2: Next Steps if the School Says ‘No.’

Section 504 Protections

Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 is a federal civil rights law that helps protect students with disabilities from discrimination in schools that receive federal funding. It applies to individuals whose disabilities significantly affect major life activities—such as learning, breathing, walking, or concentrating. Because the law is broadly written, it can apply to a wide range of conditions and circumstances.

Students who receive services through an IEP also benefit from protections under Section 504, which are built into the IEP process. In some cases, students who don’t qualify for an IEP may still be eligible for support through a Section 504 Plan.

Protections against bullying and discriminatory discipline are aspects of Section 504. PAVE provides articles about Bullying at School: Resources and the Rights of Students with Special needs and What Parents Need to Know when Disability Impacts Behavior and Discipline at School.

Learn More

PAVE provides downloadable toolkits ready for you, including Where to Begin When a Student Needs Help. For the full list of toolkits, type “toolkit” in the search bar at the top of this page.

Click on Get Support at the top of this page to submit a Support Request and receive individually tailored support, training, information, and resources.

Disability and Sexual Health Education

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Washington’s Comprehensive Sexual Health Education helps all students learn about their bodies, relationships, and sexual health through age-appropriate, inclusive curriculum.

A Brief Overview

  • Sexual education is a legal requirement in Washington State. Read on for information about what the state requires and resources for supporting a child to learn developmentally appropriate information related to health and sexuality.
  • The state provides a Sexual Violence Prevention website page with information about work underway toward the prevention of child sexual abuse.
  • Helping young people talk about sexual consent can support students to learn to make healthy choices that serve them for a lifetime. Rooted in Rights of Washington offers a step-by-step guide for talking about consent with youth with disabilities.
  • May is Sex Ed for All Month. Sex Ed for All Month is an opportunity to raise awareness and call for real investment in sex education in schools and communities across the country.

Introduction

Parents or guardians are their child’s first and primary teachers about sexual health education. What parents and caregivers believe, say, and do can shape how children learn about their bodies and relationships. This article shares resources to help families and youth support healthy sexuality and understand what schools are required to teach.

Why should students learn about sexual health in school?

Everyone has the right to autonomy over their own body and needs the knowledge and tools to make informed, safe choices for themselves. Restricting knowledge or making choices for other people can lead to situations where that lack of knowledge increases their vulnerability. That vulnerability, especially for a young adult with a disability, can lead to unsafe choices both personally and through others’ predatory behavior. What are my rights? What is important to know about my own health and safety? How do I understand my own and others’ behaviors and feelings? Answers to these questions are important tools for growing young adults, regardless of their circumstances or diagnosed cognitive abilities.

Washington’s Sexual Health Education Laws

Washington state law requires schools to provide education about the life-threatening dangers of HIV/AIDS, how it spreads, and how to prevent it. Students must begin learning HIV/AIDS prevention education by grade 5 and review it annually, in accordance with the AIDS Omnibus Act (RCW 28A.230.070). Office of the Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) offers guidance, teaching materials, and support to help schools teach HIV/AIDS prevention and sexual health education in ways that are accurate, age-appropriate, and inclusive of all students.

In 2018, Washington legislature passed Erin’s Law (HB 1539), which aims to prevent child sexual abuse. The law names OSPI as the lead agency responsible for reviewing curricula and working with Department of Children, Youth, and Families (DCYF) to create child sexual abuse prevention programs in grades K-12. OSPI provides a Sexual Violence Prevention webpage that includes information about work underway.

Comprehensive Sexual Health Education (CSHE)

Washington schools are required to teach inclusive comprehensive sexual health education (CSHE). Educational materials must follow the Health Education K-12 Learning Standards, which provide a framework for comprehensive instruction, and the provisions of Washington State Law RCW 28A.300.475. Families can review these materials to understand better  what their child is learning.

For students in grades 4-12, CSHE is defined in the law as “recurring instruction in human development and reproduction that is medically accurate, age-appropriate and inclusive of all students…using language and strategies that recognize all protected classes.” Disability is a protected class, which means students with disabilities must be included in sexual health education.

Instruction for students in grades Kindergarten-3 is defined in the law as Social Emotional Learning (SEL). Lessons for these grades do not include human development or reproduction. OSPI provides a Social Emotional Learning webpage with helpful tools for families, like fact sheets and infographics.

Consent and Decision Making

CSHE teaches about consent and helps students develop the communication and decision-making skills they need to make healthy choices. Consent is defined as granting permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Consent is important to understand in the context of sexual activity. Rooted in Rights of Washington provides written information and a video within its step-by-step guide for talking about consent with youth with disabilities.

Dating and sexual intimacy are subjects that can be addressed through Supported Decision Making, a legal option in Washington State. Washington law (Chapter 11.130 in the Revised Code of Washington) includes Supported Decision Making (SDM) as an option under the Uniform Guardianship, Conservatorship, and Other Protective Arrangements Act. The format for an SDM agreement is up to the individual and their supporters. A sample form is available for download from WashingtonLawHelp.org.

Sex Ed for All Month

May is Sex Ed for All Month, an opportunity to raise awareness and call for real investment in sex education in schools and communities across the country. Sex Ed for All Month is coordinated by the Sex Education Collaborative, in collaboration with a national coalition of sexual and reproductive health, rights, and justice organizations committed to ensuring equitable and accessible sex education for all young people nationwide.

Learn More

OSPI’s Comprehensive Sexual Health Education Implementation webpage offers educational materials and tools that help teach about relationships, including social skills, friendships, and personal responsibility for one’s body.

The Healthy Teen Network provides tips, tools, and information to help youth learn about relationships, understand their bodies, and make healthy choices.

The Center for Parent Information and Resources provides a library of resources, including several related to the role of parents: Sexuality Education for Students with Disabilities.

Self-Care is Critical for Caregivers with Unique Challenges

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Caring for individuals with disabilities or complex medical needs can be emotionally and physically draining, making intentional self-care essential for long-term well-being.  Simple practices like mindfulness, getting enough sleep, going for a walk, or taking a few deep breaths can help reduce stress and build resilience. Talking to others who understand and finding time to rest can also help caregivers stay strong and healthy.

A Brief Overview

  • Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is any activity or strategy that helps you survive and thrive in your life. Without regular self-care, it can become impossible to keep up with work, support and care for others, and manage daily activities.
  • PAVE knows that self-care can be particularly challenging for family members caring for someone with a disability or complex medical condition. This article includes tips and guidance especially for you.
  • PAVE provides a library with more strategies to cultivate resilience, create calm through organization, improve sleep, and more: Self-Care Videos for Families Series.

Introduction

Raising children requires patience, creativity, problem-solving skills and infinite energy. Think about that last word—energy. A car doesn’t keep going if it runs out of gas, right? The same is true for parents and other caregivers. If we don’t refill our tanks regularly we cannot keep going. We humans refuel with self-care, which is a broad term to describe any activity or strategy that gives us a boost.

Self-care is not selfish! Without ways to refresh, we cannot maintain our jobs, manage our homes, or take care of people who need us to keep showing up. Because the demands of caring for someone with a disability or complex medical condition can require even more energy, refueling through self-care is especially critical for caregivers.

Two Feet, One Breath

Before you read anymore, try this simple self-care tool called Two Feet, One Breath. Doctors use this one in between seeing patients.

Two Feet, One Breath infographic. Calming practice that can help your mental health.

Download this infographic, Two Feet 1 Breath:
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Two Feet, One Breath can become part of every transition in your day: when you get out of bed or the car, before you start a task, after you finish something, or any time you go into a different space or prepare to talk with someone. This simple practice highlights how self-care can become integrated into your day.

Although a day at the spa might be an excellent idea, self-care doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive to have a big impact!

Almost everyone knows or cares for someone with special needs. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), at least 28% of the American population experiences a disability. The result is widespread compassion fatigue, which is a way to talk about burnout from giving more than you get.

Below are some ways to use self-care to avoid burnout!

Connect with others

Building a support network with others who share similar life experiences can be incredibly valuable. When you’re going through a challenging or unique situation—like parenting a child with special needs or managing a family health issue—it can feel isolating. These connections offer emotional validation and a sense of understanding that can be hard to find elsewhere—you don’t have to explain everything because others simply get it. Research shows that social support can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, enhancing overall well-being and resilience. Beyond emotional comfort, support networks empower individuals by helping them build confidence, understand their rights, and even engage in advocacy efforts that benefit their families and communities.

Here are some communities and resources to help you get connected:

Parent-to-Parent Connections

The Parent-to-Parent network can help by matching parents with similar interests or by providing regular events and group meetings.

Support for Families of Youth Who Are Blind or Low Vision

Washington State Department of Services for the Blind (DSB) offers resources and support for families. You can also hear directly from youth about their experiences in the PAVE story: My story: The Benefits of Working with Agencies like the Washington State Department of Services for the Blind.

Support for Families of Youth Who Are Deaf or Hard of Hearing

Washington Hands and Voices offers opportunities for caregivers of youth who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing (DHH) to connect, share experiences, and find community.

Resources for Families Navigating Behavioral Health Challenges

Several family-serving organizations provide support, education, and advocacy for caregivers of children and youth with behavioral health conditions: 

  • Family, Youth, and System Partner Round Table (FYSPRT). Regional groups are a hub for family networking and emotional support. Some have groups for young people.
  • Washington State Community Connectors (WSCC). WSCC sponsors an annual family training weekend, manages a Substance Use Disorder (SUD) Family Navigator training, and offers ways for families to share their experiences and support one another.
  • COPE (Center of Parent Excellence) offers support group meetings and direct help from lead parent support specialists as part of a statewide program called A Common Voice.
  • Dads Move ​works to strengthen the father’s role in raising children with behavioral health needs through education, peer support and advocacy.
  • Healthy Minds Healthy Futures is an informal network on Facebook.

PAVE provides a comprehensive toolkit for families navigating behavioral health systems, including guidance on crisis response, medical care, education, and family support networks.

Get Enough Sleep

The body uses sleep to recover, heal, and process stress. If anxiety or intrusive thinking consistently interrupts sleep, self-care starts with some sleeping preparations:

Move Your Body

Moving releases feel-good chemicals into the body, improves mood, and reduces the body’s stress response. Walk or hike, practice yoga, swim, wrestle with the kids, chop wood, work in the yard, or start a spontaneous living-room dance party.

The Mayo Clinic has this to say about exercise:

  • It pumps up endorphins. Physical activity may help bump up the production of your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. Although this function is often referred to as a runner’s high, any aerobic activity, such as a rousing game of tennis or a nature hike, can contribute to this same feeling.
  • It reduces the negative effects of stress. Exercise can provide stress relief for your body while imitating effects of stress, such as the flight or fight response, and helping your body and its systems practice working together through those effects. This can also lead to positive effects in your body—including your cardiovascular, digestive and immune systems—by helping protect your body from harmful effects of stress.
  • It’s meditation in motion. After a fast-paced game of racquetball, a long walk or run, or several laps in the pool, you may often find that you’ve forgotten the day’s irritations and concentrated only on your body’s movements. Exercise can also improve your sleep, which is often disrupted by stress, depression and anxiety.

Be Mindful

Mindfulness can be as simple as the Two Feet, One Breath practice described at the top of this article. Mindfulness means paying attention or putting your full attention into something. Focusing the mind can be fun and simple and doesn’t have to be quiet, but it should be something that you find at least somewhat enjoyable that requires some concentration.  Some possibilities are working on artwork, cleaning the house or car, crafting, working on a puzzle, cooking or baking, taking a nature walk, or building something.

For more mindfulness ideas, check out PAVE’s Mindfulness Video Series. From this playlist, Get Calm by Getting Organized, explores how getting organized provides satisfaction that releases happiness chemicals and hormones.

Schedule Time

A day can disappear into unscheduled chaos without some intentional planning. A carefully organized calendar, with realistic boundaries, can help make sure there’s breathing room.

Set personal appointments on the calendar for fun activities, dates with kids, healthcare routines, and personal “me time.” If the calendar is full, be courageous about saying no and setting boundaries. If someone needs your help, find a day and time where you might be able to say yes without compromising your self-care. Remember that self-care is how you refuel; schedule it so you won’t run out of gas!

Time management is a key part of stress management! This article, “Stress Management: Managing Your Time” from Kaiser Permanente, gives tips for managing your time well, so you can reduce the pressure of last-minute tasks and make space for the things that matter most to you.

Seek Temporary Relief

Respite care provides temporary relief for a primary caregiver. In Washington State, a resource to find respite providers is Lifespan Respite. PAVE provides an article with more information: Respite Offers a Break for Caregivers and Those They Support.

Parents and caregivers of children with developmental disabilities can seek in-home personal care services and request a waiver for respite care from the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA). PAVE provides two training videos about eligibility and assessments for DDA. For more information about the application process, Informing Families provides a detailed article and video.

Download the Emotional Wellness Tips for Caregivers

Emotional Wellness Tips for Family Caregivers

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Tips to Help Parents Reinforce Positive Behaviors at Home

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Changes in routine, especially during school breaks, can be challenging for families, but using Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS) at home can help create calm, structure, and stronger relationships. PBIS focuses on teaching expected behaviors, using clear communication, and reinforcing positive actions instead of relying on punishment. Families can build supportive routines, model emotional regulation, and use simple strategies to guide behavior at home.

A Brief Overview

  • Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS) is a strategy schools use to teach children about expected behavior.
  • A key PBIS principle is that punishment fails to teach what to do instead. Adults can model calm responses and self-regulation with tools like self-care and mindfulness.
  • Behavior is a form of communication. When children act out, they may be trying to express a need, feeling, or frustration they don’t yet have the words for.
  • The easiest way to change a behavior is to point out what a person does right. Remember this catchy phrase, “5-and-1 gets it done,” to ensure five positive interactions for each negative interaction.
  • Families can use school-based PBIS strategies at home to create safe, consistent, and predictable environments.
  • PAVE provides a video with key information to help families and schools analyze a child’s behavior and develop a positive behavior support plan: Behavior and School: How to Participate in the FBA/BIP Process.
  • If you come up with some great behavior support strategies this summer, be sure to share them with the school in the fall!

Introduction

Changes in routine and seasonal transitions can cause emotional upheaval for families. A few strategies, described below, might help families keep things chill this summer and beyond.

These ideas come from education, where research has helped teachers see the benefits from using Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS). PBIS has been implemented in more than 26,000 U.S. schools. The PBIS framework has been shown to decrease disciplinary removals and improve student outcomes, including grades and graduation rates. When done well, PBIS provides positive social skills, communication strategies and “restorative justice,” (working it out instead of punishing) and may prevent 80-90 percent of problem behaviors.

PBIS is often part of a broader approach called Multi-Tiered System of Supports (MTSS), which helps schools and families work together to meet academic, behavioral, and emotional needs through different levels of support.

Positive support makes learning easier

PBIS research highlights problems with punishments, which are called “aversive interventions.” Research shows that a punished child is likely to go into an emotionally dysregulated state (fight/flight/freeze) that actually blocks learning. Chances are low that the child will know what to do next time because the punishment didn’t provide a learning opportunity.

PBIS teaches what to do instead – and how to do it. Adults who calmly guide children and youth toward a new way of problem-solving can interrupt or prevent an escalation and help the child make better and better choices moving forward.

Keep in mind that adults need to stay regulated to help children. PAVE provides resources to help adults work on their own self-control and support their children:

Behavior is a child’s attempt to communicate

Simple, consistent, predictable language is critical for teaching and reinforcing behavior, says Kelcey Schmitz, who works for the University of Washington School Mental Health Assessment, Research, and Training (SMART) Center.

“PBIS is a game changer for children and youth with behavior challenges and their teachers and caregivers,” Schmitz says. “In fact, everyone can benefit from PBIS. Behavior is a form of communication, and PBIS aims to reduce problem behavior by increasing appropriate behavior and ultimately improving quality of life for everyone. The same approaches used by schools to prevent problem behaviors and create positive, safe, consistent and predictable environments can be used by families at home.”

Schmitz, an MTSS training and technical assistance specialist, provides the following specific tips for creating a successful PBIS home environment.

Support Positive Behavior before there is a problem

PBIS is set up with three layers – called tiers – of support. The parent-child relationship is strengthened by loving and positive interactions at each level.

Tier 1 support is about getting busy before there is a problem. Much like learning to wash hands to prevent getting sick, expected behavior is taught and modeled to prevent unexpected behaviors.  Parents can look at their own actions and choices and consider what children will see as examples of being respectful, responsible, and safe.

Tiers 2 and 3 are where adults provide more support for specific behaviors that are getting in the way of relationships or how the child or youth functions. In a school setting, Tier 2 is for students who need a social group or some extra teaching, practice, and reinforcement.

Tier 3 support includes a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) to find out why the behavior is occurring, and an individualized Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP). PAVE provides a video: Behavior and School: How to Participate in the FBA/BIP Process.

Any student may access supports that include aspects of Social Emotional Learning at all three Tiers. At home, Tiers 2 and 3 naturally will be more blended and may include support from a community provider. Note that targeted interventions in Tiers 2-3 work best when Tier 1 is already well established.

Define, teach, and routinely acknowledge family expectations

Discuss how you want to live as a family and identify some “pillars” (important, building-block concepts) that represent what you value. Talk about what those pillars look, and sound like in everyday routines. To help the family remember and be consistent, choose only 3-5 and create positive statements about them. Here are a few examples:

  • Speak in a respectful voice.
  • Be responsible for your actions.
  • Be safe; keep hands, feet, and objects to self.

Identify a couple of “hot spots” to begin. Challenging behaviors often occur within routines. Perhaps mornings or mealtimes create hot spots for the family. After discussing 1-2 ways to be respectful, responsible, and safe in the morning, teach what each looks like. Have fun with it! Set up “expectation stations” for practicing the plan and assign each family member one pillar to teach to the rest.

Behaviors that get attention get repeated. Notice when a child does the right thing and say something about each success: “I noticed you stopped to pick up your shoes in the hallway. Thanks for putting them away and keeping the walkway safe for others.” The easiest way to change a behavior is to point out what a person does right!

Remember this catchy phrase, “5-and-1 gets it done” to ensure five positive interactions for each negative interaction. When the expected behavior becomes routine, the reinforcement can fade away.

Create engaging and predictable routines

Children crave structure and routine. Adults may look forward to a relaxing evening or weekend, but kids often need regular activity and engagement. Consider that either the kids are busy, or the adults are busy managing bored kids!

Use visuals to create predictability. A visual schedule can display major routines of the day with pictures that are drawn, real photos, or cut-outs from magazines. Create a schedule together, if possible.  Parents can ask a child to check the schedule – especially when moving from a preferred to non-preferred activity. It’s hard to argue with a picture!

Set the stage for positive behavior

Teach, pre-teach, and re-teach. Children need to learn behavior just like they learn colors and shapes. A quick reminder can help reinforce a developing skill: “When we get in the car, sit up, buckle up, and smile!”

Give transition warnings or cues to signal the end of one activity and the beginning of another: “In five minutes, it will be bath time.”

First/then statements set up a child for delayed gratification: “First take your bath; then we can play dolls.”

Focus on Go instead of Stop. Children often tune out words like No, Don’t and Stop and only hear the word that comes next, which is what an adult is trying to avoid. Tell a child what to do instead of what not to do: “Take your plate and put it in the sink.” Save Stop and No for dangerous circumstances that need a quick reaction.

Choices prevent power struggles: “Would you rather play for five more minutes or get in the bath now?”  “Feel free to choose the pink pajamas or the green ones.”

While these strategies may not eliminate all problem behaviors, they create consistency, predictability, and a more positive atmosphere. They teach new skills to help children get their needs met. The solid foundation will help even if challenging behaviors persist by creating a bedrock for additional layers of support.

Final Thoughts

Supporting positive behavior at home doesn’t require perfection—just patience, consistency, and a willingness to learn alongside your child. By using clear communication, setting routines, and teaching expected behaviors, families can create a calm and connected environment where everyone thrives. These strategies not only make summer smoother but also build skills that carry into the school year. If you come up with some great behavior support strategies this summer, be sure to share them with the school in the fall! Working together, families and schools can create strong, supportive systems that help every child succeed.

Learn More

Summer Daily Activity List – Taking care of YOU!

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Daily Activity List

PAVE has created a suggested list of activities to follow every day this summer. Give yourself grace if you cannot do everything on the list. Nobody is keeping track. Your reward will be a healthy mindset! Type Mindfulness into the search bar on our website to find other articles and videos to support self-care for everyone in the family.

List of Daily Activities for the Summer Print list on wapave.org

Click to view this list in PDF form

Contents of the graphic:

Start the day with a self-care routine – Do all!

  • Eat breakfast
  • Get dressed and take a shower if needed
  • Brush teeth and hair
  • Pick up your room and make your bed
  • Put away four things that are out of place

Take care of your home – Pick one!

  • Help to wash dishes
  • Load /unload the dishwasher
  • Vacuum one room
  • Empty the garbage
  • Do a new chore!

Build your body – Pick one or more!

  • Challenge yourself to do something outside for at least one hour
  • Go for a walk, walk a pet, or draw with sidewalk chalk
  • Help make a yummy healthy meal
  • Play with friends or swing at a nearby park
  • Tired or crabby? Take a nap!

Build your brain – Pick one or more!

  • Do a puzzle, play with Lego bricks, make music
  • Write a story, read a book (at least 1 chapter or 20 minutes)
  • Choose something else creative that you enjoy

Build up others – Pick one or more!

  • Write a letter to a friend or family member
  • Give a compliment
  • Find a small or large way to help someone: a little kindness goes a long way!

Mental Health Education and Support at School can be Critical

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

A Brief Overview

  • Alarming statistics indicate the pandemic worsened many behavioral health outcomes for young people. Governor Jay Inslee on March 14, 2021, issued an emergency proclamation declaring children’s mental health to be in crisis.
  • President Joe Biden issued a Fact Sheet about the nation’s mental health crisis on March 1, 2022, as part of his State of the Union message. This article includes some of what the president shared about youth impacts.
  • Washington State’s 2021 Healthy Youth Survey confirms that children and youth are struggling to maintain well-being.
  • These outcomes make adolescence a critical time for mental health promotion, early identification and intervention. Read on for information and resources.
  • The emotional well-being of students may be served through Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS), which provide a structure for schools to provide education and supports related to student well-being schoolwide.
  • Students with high levels of need may access mental health support through the special education system. Emotional Disturbance is a federal category of disability under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).

Full Article

Alarming statistics indicate that children and young people are in crisis. Governor Jay Inslee issued an emergency proclamation for children’s mental health on March 14, 2021. Data from Washington’s 2021 Healthy Youth Survey confirm the distressing trends:

Seven out of ten students in tenth grade report feeling nervous, anxious, on edge, or cannot stop worrying. Eight percent said they tried suicide within the past year. Almost 40 percent said their feelings were disturbing enough to interrupt their regular activities, and more than 10 percent of students said they didn’t have anyone to talk to about their feelings. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), only about half of young people who need behavioral health services get them.

According to the 2021 statewide survey, students with disabilities struggle more than most. Also over-represented are girls, students from lower income households, and students whose gender or sexuality is non-binary. Non-binary refers to more than two things; it’s a term often used when discussing people who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender, Queer, or questioning (LGBTQ+). LGBTQ+ youth can seek crisis help and more from The Trevor Project.

“Reports of our children suffering with mental health issues are a worrisome public health concern,” said Umair A. Shah, MD, MPH, Washington’s Secretary of Health. “Mental health is a part of our children’s overall health and well-being. It is imperative that we all continue to work together to fully support the whole child by providing information and access to behavioral health resources to youth and the trusted adults in their lives.”

Concerns are nationwide. On March 1, 2022, President Joe Biden issued a Fact Sheet stating that grief, trauma, and physical isolation during the past two years have driven Americans to a breaking point:

“Our youth have been particularly impacted as losses from COVID and disruptions in routines and relationships have led to increased social isolation, anxiety, and learning loss.  More than half of parents express concern over their children’s mental well-being. An early study has found that students are about five months behind in math and four months behind in reading, compared with students prior to the pandemic.

“In 2019, one in three high school students and half of female students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, an overall increase of 40 percent from 2009. Emergency department visits for attempted suicide have risen 51 percent among adolescent girls.”

Mental Health support to students is a statewide priority

Recognizing the unmet needs, Washington State’s 2022 legislature passed a variety of bills to increase support to children and youth with behavioral health conditions. Here are a few examples:

  • HB 1664: Provides funding and incentives for schools to increase numbers of staff who provide physical, social, and emotional support to students. Schools are responsible to report to the state how these funds were used for hiring staff that directly support students and not something else.
  • HB 1800: Requires Health Care Authority (HCA) to build and maintain a website (“parent portal”) to help families seek out behavioral health services. Also supports growth and training requirements for behavioral health ombuds serving youth through the Office of Behavioral Health Consumer Advocacy.
  • HB 1834: Establishes a student absence from school for mental health reasons as an excused absence.
  • HB 1890: Creates an advisory group under the Children and Youth Behavioral Health Work Group (CYBHWG) to build a strategic plan for children, youth transitioning to adulthood, and their caregivers. Also establishes a $200/day stipend (up to 6 meetings per year) for members of the CYBHWG with lived experience who are not attending in a paid professional capacity.

TIP: Family caregivers can get involved in advocacy work!

Here’s another TIP: Families can ask their school who is on site to support students with their mental health needs. Some school districts seek support from an Educational Service District (ESD) to meet student behavioral health needs, so families can also ask whether ESD supports are available. Some ESDs are licensed as behavioral health providers—just ask.

What is MTSS, and why learn this acronym to ask the school about it?

A priority for agencies involved in statewide work is implementation of Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS). Through MTSS, schools support well-being for all students and offer higher levels of support based on student need. Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is key to MTSS, which creates a structure for positive behavioral supports and trauma-informed interventions.

The Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) is the state educational agency for Washington schools. In its 2021 budget, OSPI prioritized MTSS as part of a plan to Empower all Schools to Support the Whole Child. In January, 2021, OSPI was awarded a five-year, $5.3 million grant from the U.S. Department of Education help districts implement MTSS. As a local control state, Washington districts determine their own specific policies and procedures.

TIP: Families can ask school and district staff to describe their MTSS work and how students are receiving support through the various levels/tiers.

Special Education is one pathway for more help

Students may access mental health support through the special education system. Emotional Disturbance is a federal category of disability under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Appropriate support can be especially critical for these students: According to the U.S. Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP), students eligible for school-based services under the ED category are twice as likely to drop out of high school before graduating.

How a student is supported in their life planning could have an impact. PAVE provides a toolkit of information about how to support a student in their preparations for graduation and beyond: School to Adulthood: Transition Planning Toolkit for High School, Life, and Work.

Note that a student with a mental health condition might qualify for an Individualized Education Program (IEP) under the category of Other Health Impairment (OHI), which captures needs related to various medical diagnoses. Other categories that often overlap with behavioral health are Autism and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). IEP eligibility categories are described in the Washington Administrative Codes (WAC 392-172A-01035).

In Washington State, the ED category is referred to as Emotional Behavioral Disability (EBD). If the student’s behavioral health is impaired to a degree that the student is struggling to access school, and the student needs Specially Designed Instruction (SDI), then the student may be eligible for an IEP. Keep in mind that academic subjects are only a part of learning in school: Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is part of the core curriculum. 

An educational evaluation determines whether a student has a disability that significantly impacts access to school and whether Specially Designed Instruction (SDI) and related services are needed for the student to receive a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). FAPE is the entitlement of a student eligible for special education services. An IEP team determines how FAPE/educational services are provided to an individual student.

Behavioral health counseling can be part of an IEP

Counseling can be written into an IEP as a related service. When included in a student’s IEP as educationally necessary for FAPE, a school district is responsible to provide and fund those services. School districts can receive reimbursement for most of the cost of behavioral health services for students who are covered by Medicaid and on an IEP. The Health Care Authority provides information about school-based health services for students who are covered by Medicaid and on an IEP.

A student with a mental health condition who doesn’t qualify for an IEP might be eligible for a Section 504 Plan. A disability that impairs a major life activity triggers Section 504 protections, which include the right to appropriate and individualized accommodations at school. Section 504 is an aspect of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, a Civil Rights law that protects against disability discrimination. Students with IEPs and 504 plans are protected by Section 504 rights.

Behavioral Health encompasses a wide range of disability conditions, including those related to substance use disorder, that impact a person’s ability to manage behavior. Sometimes students with behavioral health disabilities bump into disciplinary issues at school. Students with identified disabilities have protections in the disciplinary process: PAVE provides a detailed article about student and family rights related to school discipline.

Placement options for students who struggle with behavior

IEP teams determine the program and placement for a student. In accordance with federal law (IDEA), students have a right to FAPE in the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE) to the maximum extent appropriate. That means educational services and supports are designed to help students access their general education classroom and curriculum first. If the student is unable to make meaningful progress there because of their individual circumstances and disability condition, then the IEP team considers more restrictive placement options. See PAVE’s article: Special Education is a Service, Not a Place.

If general education is not working, the IEP team is responsible to consider all placement options to find the right fit. There is not a requirement to rule out every “less restrictive” option before choosing a placement that the team agrees will best serve the student’s needs.

Sometimes the IEP team, which includes family, will determine that in order to receive FAPE a student needs to be placed in a Day Treatment or Residential school. OSPI maintains a list of Non-Public Agencies that districts might pay to support the educational needs of a student. Districts may also consider schools that are not listed. Washington State has almost no residential options for students. Schools almost always send students to other states when residential placement is needed.

On May 23, 2022, a Washington affiliate of National Public Radio (KUOW) provided a report about the lack of residential programs in the state and the challenges for families whose students go out of state for residential education: Washington is sending youth in crisis to out-of-state boarding schools; taxpayers pick up the tab.

Residential placement may be necessary because educational needs cannot be served unless medical needs are fully supported. School districts may be responsible in those situations to pay for a residential placement. A precedent-setting court ruling in 2017 was Edmonds v. A.T. The parents of a student with behavioral disabilities filed due process against the Edmonds School District for reimbursement of residential education. The administrative law judge ruled that the district must pay for the residential services because “students cannot be separated from their disabilities.”

Strategies and safety measures for families and teachers

The Healthy Youth Survey is conducted every other year and was delayed from 2020 to 2021 because of the pandemic. Over the years, results are shared along with tips for families and schools. Here are a few considerations built from various data points within the survey:

Hopeful students:

  • Are more interested in schoolwork: Is there a way to make every day at school more connected to what a child cares about?
  • See people who can help: Who are the adults at school that a student can trust and go to for encouragement or guidance?
  • Believe that school is relevant to life: Who is helping the student connect what they are learning now to who they want to become?
  • Are academically successful: Are supports in place to provide adequate help so the student can succeed in learning? Evidence-based instructional strategies are key when students struggle in reading, writing, or math because of learning disabilities, for example.

TIP: Make sure these four topics are part of a school/family discussion when a student is struggling with emotional well-being or behavior that may be impacted by hopelessness.

A 2018 handout includes tips for parents and other adults who support teens who feel anxious or depressed:

  • Bond with them: Unconditional love includes clear statements that you value them, and your actions show you want to stay involved in their lives.
  • Talk with teens about their feelings and show you care. Listen to their point of view. Suicidal thinking often comes from a wish to end psychological pain.
  • Help teens learn effective coping strategies and resiliency skills to deal with stress, expectations of others, relationship problems, and challenging life events.
  • Have an evening as a family where everyone creates their own mental health safety plan.
  • Learn about warning signs and where to get help
  • Ask: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Don’t be afraid that talking about it will give them the idea. If you’ve observed any warning signs, chances are they’re already thinking about it.
  • If you own a firearm, keep it secured where a teen could not access it.
  • Lock up medications children shouldn’t have access to.

A press for school-based services and mental health literacy

Advocacy for direct school-based mental health services and education about mental health topics comes from the University of Washington’s SMART Center. SMART stands for School Mental Health Assessment Research and Training. The SMART center in 2020 provided a report: The Case for School Mental Health. The document includes state and national data that strongly indicate school-based behavioral health services are effective:

“Increased access to mental health services and supports in schools is vital to improving the physical and psychological safety of our students and schools, as well as academic performance and problem-solving skills. Availability of comprehensive school mental health promotes a school culture in which students feel safe to report safety concerns, which is proven to be among the most effective school safety strategies.”

The SMART Center in partnership with the non-profit Chad’s Legacy Project in 2021 established an online Student/Youth Mental Health Literacy Library. Intended for staff at middle and high schools, the library provides resources to help schools choose curricula for mental health education on topics that include Social Emotional Learning, Substance Use Disorder, and Suicide Prevention.

Goals of mental health literacy are:

  • Understanding how to foster and maintain good mental health
  • Understanding mental disorders and their treatments
  • Decreasing Stigma
  • Understanding how to seek help effectively for self and others

TIP: Families can direct their schools to this resource to support development or growth of a mental health education program.

For information, help during a crisis, emotional support, and referrals:  

  • Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK): After July 16, 2022, call 988
  • Text “HEAL” to 741741 to reach a trained Crisis Text Line counselor
  • Trevor Project Lifeline (LGBTQ) (1-866-488-7386)
  • The Washington Recovery Help Line (1-866-789-1511)
  • TeenLink (1-866-833-6546; 6pm-10pm PST)
  • Seattle Children’s Hospital has a referral helpline. Families can call 833-303-5437, Monday-Friday, 8-5, to connect with a referral specialist. The service is free for families statewide

Further information on mental health and suicide:  

Family Support

  • PAVE’s Family-to-Family Health Information Center provides technical assistance to families navigating health systems related to disability. Click Get Help at wapave.org or call 800-572-7368 for individualized assistance. Family Voices of Washington provides further information and resources.
  • A Facebook group called Healthy Minds Healthy Futures provides a place to connect with other families.
  • Family caregivers can request support and training from COPE (Center of Parent Excellence), which offers support group meetings and direct help from lead parent support specialists as part of a statewide program called A Common Voice.
  • Washington State Community Connectors (WSCC) sponsors an annual family training weekend, manages an SUD Family Navigator training, and offers ways for families to share their experiences and support one another. With passage of HB 1800 in 2022, WSCC is working with the Health Care Authority to build a statewide website to help families navigate behavioral health services.
  • Family, Youth, and System Partner Round Table (FYSPRT) is a statewide hub for family networking and emotional support. Some regions have distinct groups for young people.

Behavior and School: How to Participate in the FBA/BIP Process

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

This 2-part training has information about how to support a child’s behavior at school. When behavior gets in the way of learning, schools are responsible to figure out what the child is trying to communicate and to teach the child what to do instead.

PAVE’s accessible, fillable worksheet goes with the videos to help with behavior planning.

The process of figuring out why a child is acting out is called a Functional Behavioral Assessment—FBA for short. The first video in this 2-part series is about the FBA process.

A Behavior Intervention Plan—BIP for short—is a working document that the school and family build together and review regularly to make sure the child is supported with positive reinforcement and encouragement for meeting behavioral expectations. The second video in this 2-part series is about BIP development.

PAVE provides a Sample Letter to Request a Functional Behavioral Assessment to help families formally ask the school to assess their child’s behavior and consider how to thoughtfully build a behavior support plan.

Schools are guided by the state to use best practices when evaluating and serving students with special needs. The Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) is the state educational agency in Washington State. OSPI’s website is k12.wa.us. A page called Model Forms for Services to Students in Special Education has links to downloadable forms schools use to develop IEPs, Section 504 Plans, and more.

Here are links to OSPI’s model forms for:

After you view the video, please take a quick moment to complete our survey. Your feedback is valuable!

Self-Care Videos for Mindfulness – Families Series

Posted on by Nicol Walsh
How to Cultivate Resilience Like a Starfish
Take a Mindful Walk in Nature
Get Calm by Getting Organized
Feel What You Feel
Support a Child’s Resilience by Pointing to the Positive
Body Sensing Meditation for Help with Sleep
Make Good Feelings Stick Like Velcro

Take a Mindful Walk in Nature

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Mindfulness can mean anything that helps you slow down and show up for what’s happening in a moment. This video demonstrates how to notice all of the body’s senses on a nature walk. Once it’s familiar, the concept could be useful in any environment, including indoors. Get creative and if it’s developmentally appropriate, you can encourage children to make up their own journey through their senses.

Get Calm by Getting Organized

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

When overwhelm is happening, it’s hard to imagine that getting organized will help. But here’s why it’s worth it: When you feel satisfied that you’ve done something, your brain releases happiness chemicals and hormones. This video provides information about how that works and how families can tap into happy by getting organized and taking time each day to celebrate everyone’s accomplishments.

How to Navigate School for Youth with Mental Health Concerns

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Staff from PAVE’s Parent Training and Information (PTI) program provided a workshop as part of the statewide virtual conference hosted by NAMI Washington October 16, 2021.

This recorded training provides a general overview of student rights in education. Some information is specific to students impacted by mental health conditions.

The formal content begins about four minutes into the video and ends at about 46 minutes.

Here are a few examples of topics addressed:

  • Does my student have the right to be evaluated for special education if they refuse to go to school because of anxiety?
  • What accommodations are reasonable to ask for?
  • What services might be possible for my student who struggles with emotional regulation?
  • Can counseling be a related service?
  • Are there protections for a student because of suicidal thoughts or attempts?
  • What support is available for a student with a disability condition who isn’t prepared for adulthood because high school got interrupted by the pandemic?

Additional information about mental health education and services at school, the overall layout of youth behavioral health in Washington State, and where to find family support is included in a PAVE article: Mental Health Education and Support at School can be Critical.

To seek education, training, and support from the National Alliance on Mental illness, look for a virtual training or information about a local affiliate near you, listed on the NAMI WA website.

One place to access behavioral health services for children and youth anywhere in Washington is through the Seattle Children’s Hospital Mental Health Referral Service: 833-303-5437, Monday-Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Families and young people can reach out for individualized assistance from PAVE’s Parent Training and Information (PTI) staff at PAVE. Click Get Help or call 800-572-7368.

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How to Cultivate Resilience like a Starfish

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Starfish are masters at letting turmoil wash around them. They are also excellent models of resilience. This short video uses imagery from the sea and provides a strategy to get grounded, steady the breath, and cultivate four key aspects of resilience: purpose, connection, adaptability, and hope.

Become present and let thinking float away as you treat yourself to this opportunity to take a few minutes to care for yourself.

Breathe Mindfully and Give Your Favorite Stuffy a Ride

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

Even young children can become grounded and calm if breathing with intention is fun and accessible to them. This short video features two young models showing how they give their stuffed animals a ride while they breathe into and out of their tummies.

Have your child choose a comfortable place to lie down and place their stuffed animal on their tummy. Help them to notice what it’s like to breathe and watch the stuffy go up and down. Ask them what it feels like to notice their breathing and their stuffy taking a ride.

Our five-year-old model says, “I loved it and felt like I could fall asleep.”

Social Emotional Learning, Part 3: Tools for Regulation and Resiliency

Posted on by Nicol Walsh

A Brief Overview

  • Children who are taught self-regulation are more resilient and learn better in academics and more. This article describes a few practical tools and techniques that are aspects of Social Emotional Learning (SEL).
  • “Kids do well if they can,” says Ross W. Greene, a child psychologist and author. In a short YouTube video, Greene says, “The biggest favor you can do a challenging kid is to finally, at long last, be the person who figures out what’s getting in his way.”
  • PAVE provides additional articles about Social Emotional Learning.
  • Washington’s Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) provides SEL learning activities for families and educators. OSPI also provides free online SEL training, links to information about SEL state learning standards, and more on the Social and Emotional Learning page of its website: k12.wa.us.

Full Article

When children act out at school, what does the teacher do? The answer depends on the discipline policies of the school, but research indicates that suspending and expelling students is ineffective for improving behavior and can cause harm (NIH.gov).

Social Emotional Learning (SEL) in schools marks a shift toward education that promotes self-regulation, resiliency, problem-solving skills, and more. “Kids do well if they can,” says Ross W. Greene, who explains his statement in a short YouTube video. Greene is a clinical child psychologist and author of the books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings.

By accepting the logic that kids do well if they can, adults shift away from believing that kids behave only if they “want to” and allows for problem-solving, Greene says: “The biggest favor you can do a challenging kid is to finally, at long last, be the person who figures out what’s getting in the way [of doing well].”

Behavior is communication: “Get curious, not furious”

Adults can consider behavior as a form of communication and seek to understand the function of the behavior. One educator refers to this approach as “Getting Curious (Not Furious) With Students.” In the article, posted to Edutopia.org June 29, 2016, Rebecca Alber says, “When teachers get curious instead of furious, they don’t take the student’s behavior personally, and they don’t act on anger. They respond to student behaviors rather than react to them.”

Alber lists the primary benefits to schools when they promote SEL and trauma-informed approaches to discipline:

  • Improved student academic achievement
  • Less student absences, detentions, and suspensions
  • Reduction of stress for staff and students and less bullying and harassment
  • Improved teacher sense of job satisfaction and safety

Tip: Request a Functional Behavior Assessment

A Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) may be necessary in circumstances where behavior consistently impedes learning. Schools can use FBA data to build an individualized Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP). A BIP may support an Individualized Education Program (IEP) or could be a stand-alone plan for any student.

When using positive behavior support strategies, adults can avoid judging behavior with labels such as bad, non-compliant, defiant, uncooperative, etc. Researchers have found that those labels often refer to adult perception and frustration about what is happening more than they explain what a child may be trying to express.

Family caregivers might read through a student’s Individualized Education Program (IEP), a behavior plan, disciplinary referrals, or other notes from the school to notice what type of language is being used to describe what’s happening. Requesting a meeting to discuss an FBA and/or strategy for SEL skill-building is an option.

Raw moments are opportunities to teach from the heart

Heather T. Forbes, author of Help for Billy, is among professionals designing new ways to help children cope and learn. Emotional instruction is crucial, argues Forbes, whose website, Beyond Consequences, shares Trauma-Informed Solutions for parents, schools, and other professionals.

“It is in the moments when your child or student is most ‘raw’ and the most dysregulated [out of control],” Forbes writes, “that you are being presented with an opportunity to create change and healing. It takes interacting from not just a new perspective but from an entirely new paradigm centered in the heart.”

In an article, Teaching Trauma in the Classroom, Forbes concludes: “These children’s issues are not behavioral. They are regulatory. Working at the level of regulation, relationship, and emotional safety addresses more deeply critical forces within these children that go far beyond the exchanges of language, choices, stars and sticker charts.”

Regulation starts in the brain

SEL supports are informed by brain science. OSPI provides a free downloadable handbook, The Heart of Learning and Teaching: Compassion, Resiliency, and Academic Success. Included in Chapter One is a list of the brain regions affected by trauma. Understanding the amygdala as a center for fear, for example, can be critical for designing strategies to manage meltdowns. “Overstimulation of the amygdala…activates fear centers in the brain and results in behaviors consistent with anxiety, hyperarousal and hypervigilance,” the page informs.

Writing for Edutopia, Rebecca Alber recommends that teachers learn to understand and recognize impacts of trauma and to understand that apparent refusal to comply might actually be a trauma-based response.

“When we ask students to do high-level tasks, such as problem solving or design thinking,” Alber says, “it’s nearly impossible if they are in a triggered state of fight, flight, or freeze. This trauma state may look like defiance or anger, and we may perceive this refusal as choice, but it is not necessarily so.”

Use Your Words

Some teachers are turning directly to scientists for advice. Dan Siegel, a well-known neurobiologist and author, offers tips through his agency, Mindsight. Mindsight teaches how to “name and tame” emotions to keep from getting overwhelmed. For example, Siegel suggests learning the difference between these two sentences:

  1. I am sad.
  2. I feel sad.

The first statement “is a kind of limited self-definition,” Siegel argues, while the second statement “suggests the ability to recognize and acknowledge a feeling, without being consumed by it.”

Encourage rather than simply praise

Word choice can be critical in trauma-informed instruction. Jody McVittie, a pediatrician who started Sound Discipline, based in Seattle, gives workshops for parents and teachers. She talks about the difference between praise and encouragement in a training called Building Resiliency. Instead of saying “Great Job,” which can trigger an emotional response but may not reinforce learning, a teacher or parent might say instead:

  • “I noticed that you wrote all of the letters of your name on the line and it was really easy to read.”
  • “I appreciate that you asked some insightful questions during our discussion about the Constitution today.”
  • “I know you can write a creative description of the book you read.”

The more specific the encouragement, McVittie says, the more the student will be encouraged to keep working on that expected behavior. Another of McVittie’s key concepts is “connection before correction” to help teachers create helpful relationships with students. An example she uses in her trainings:

A teenaged student tossed a soda can from across the room during class. A trauma-trained teacher pointed to the hallway, and the boy joined her there. Instead of directing him to the office, the teacher explained that she really enjoyed having him in class. She said that he contributed valuable questions. Then she asked why he thought he was in the hallway. He said it was because he threw the soda can. She asked, “What’s your plan?” His answer included apologies and decision-making about how to avoid the mistake again.

This story certainly could have ended differently, and McVittie encourages educators and parents to avoid a “Dignity Double-Bind,” where children experience shame instead of problem-solving:

“Make the child think,” she says, “by showing respect instead of giving orders to obey.”

A Self-Regulation Strategy for Right Now

Sometimes grace starts with self-care. Following is a breathing practice you can use right now to help your nervous system regulate. If you prefer, you can watch a short video from PAVE that demonstrates this technique: Stop and Settle with Five-Fingers Breath.

You will be breathing evenly as you trace the outline of your hand, giving your eyes and your mind something to focus on while you control your breath.

  • Hold up one hand, with your palm facing you.
  • Place the first finger of your other hand onto the bottom of your thumb.
  • As you breathe in, slide your finger up to the top of your thumb.
  • Breathing out, slide your finger into the valley between your thumb and first finger.
  • Breathing in, slide up your first finger. Breathing out, slide down the other side.
  • Continue following your breath up and down all your fingers.
  • When you breathe out down the outside edge of your pinkie, continue to exhale until you reach your elbow.
  • Notice how you feel. Allow your breath to find a natural pattern.

Now that you’ve learned this technique, you can share it with other family members!