Behavioral Health and School: Key Information for Families

When a student struggles to maintain well-being, achievement at school can be a challenge. This video provides key information for families to seek school-based services for behavioral health needs. Included are two advocacy statements that this information might empower you to say in a meeting with the school:

  1. “I want to make sure my student’s rights are upheld.”
  2. “I’m providing information and resources to help the school follow the law and educational best practices.”

Included in the video is information about truancy and a new state law that schools must excuse absences for behavioral health reasons. Also included is information from the federal Office for Civil Rights (OCR), which provided new guidance in summer 2022 about school responsibility to help instead of discipline students with behavioral health needs.  

PAVE staff cannot provide advocacy or advice. We share information to empower family members and young people who do have legal advocacy rights. You can learn this information and keep in handy when you aren’t sure whether the school is following the law or educational best practices. Please be patient with yourself while you are learning this information. It can feel like a lot! As you learn a little bit at a time, you can see how your increasing knowledge shifts options and outcomes for your student.

Here are resources from this training, listed in video order:

Summer Daily Activity List – Taking care of YOU!

PAVE has created a suggested list of activities to follow every day this summer. Give yourself grace if you cannot do everything on the list. Nobody is keeping track. Your reward will be a healthy mindset! Type Mindfulness into the search bar on our website to find other articles and videos to support self-care for everyone in the family. 

List of Daily Activities for the Summer Print list on wapave.org

Click to view this list in PDF form

Start the day with a self-care routine – Do all!

  • Eat breakfast
  • Get dressed and take a shower if needed
  • Brush teeth and hair
  • Pick up your room and make your bed
  • Put away four things that are out of place

Take care of your home – Pick one!

  • Help to wash dishes
  • Load /unload the dishwasher
  • Vacuum one room
  • Empty the garbage
  • Do a new chore!

Build your body – Pick one or more!

  • Challenge yourself to do something outside for at least one hour
  • Go for a walk, walk a pet, or draw with sidewalk chalk
  • Help make a yummy healthy meal
  • Play with friends or swing at a nearby park
  • Tired or crabby? Take a nap!

Build your brain

Build your brain – Pick one or more!

  • Do a puzzle, play with Lego bricks, make music
  • Write a story, read a book (at least 1 chapter or 20 minutes)
  • Choose something else creative that you enjoy

Build up others – Pick one or more!

  • Write a letter to a friend or family member
  • Give a compliment
  • Find a small or large way to help someone: a little kindness goes a long way!

Self-Care is Critical for Caregivers with Unique Challenges

  • Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is any activity or strategy that helps you survive and thrive in your life. Without regular self-care, it can become impossible to keep up with work, support and care for others, and manage daily activities.
  • PAVE knows that self-care can be particularly challenging for family members caring for someone with a disability or complex medical condition. This article includes tips and guidance especially for you.
  • For a quick takeaway, here is a short video to inspire self-care today: Self Care for Caregivers.
  • PAVE provides a library with more strategies to cultivate resilience, create calm through organization, improve sleep, and more: Self-Care Videos for Families Series.

Full Article

Raising children requires patience, creativity, problem-solving skills and infinite energy. Think about that last word—energy. A car doesn’t keep going if it runs out of gas, right? The same is true for parents and other caregivers. If we don’t refill our tanks regularly we cannot keep going. We humans refuel with self-care, which is a broad term to describe any activity or strategy that gives us a boost.

Self-care is not selfish! Without ways to refresh, we cannot maintain our jobs, manage our homes, or take care of people who need us to keep showing up. Because the demands of caring for someone with a disability or complex medical condition can require even more energy, refueling through self-care is especially critical for caregivers. This article is for you!

Before you read anymore, try this simple self-care tool called Two Feet, One Breath. Doctors use this one in between seeing patients:

  • Notice your two feet on the ground. Feel the ground and feel your feet under you, with the weight of your body dropping into the ground through your feet. If you don’t stand on two feet, then notice whatever part of your body is connecting you to furniture or the floor.
  • Notice that you are breathing in and imagine that breath starts in your feet (or seated body) and travels all the way to the top of your head.
  • Notice that you are breathing out and imagine that your outbreath goes all the way down and out through your feet (or seated body).

Two Feet, One Breath can become part of every transition in your day: when you get out of bed or the car, before you start a task, after you finish something, or any time you go into a different space or prepare to talk with someone. This simple practice highlights how self-care can become integrated into your day.

Keep in mind: Although a day at the spa might be an excellent idea, self-care doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive to have a big impact!

These practices matter a lot, especially because almost everyone knows or cares for someone with special needs. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), at least 26 percent of the population experiences a disability. The result is widespread compassion fatigue, which is a way to talk about burnout from giving more than you get.

Anyone who isn’t convinced that self-care matters may want to watch a film by National Geographic, Stress, Portrait of a Killer, which includes research data to show how caring for a child with special needs can impact parents (minute 38 includes that report).

Below are some ways to pull on your own oxygen mask first!

Connect with others

Meet up regularly with people who have similar life stressors. The Parent-to-Parent network can help by matching parents with similar interests or by providing regular events and group meetings.

Caregivers of youth who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing (DHH) can connect with other family caregivers at Washington Hands and Voices

For caregivers of young people with behavioral health conditions, there are several family-serving agencies that might provide help and solidarity. Some agencies are listed at the end of this article and in PAVE’s Behavioral Health Toolkit.

Here are additional places to find one another:

  • School
  • Sports teams
  • Community center
  • Special Needs Parent Teacher Association
  • Extracurricular events
  • Online support groups

Get Enough Sleep

The body uses sleep to recover, heal, and process stress. If anxiety or intrusive thinking consistently interrupts sleep, self-care starts with some sleeping preparations:

Move the Body

Moving releases feel-good chemicals into the body, improves mood, and reduces the body’s stress response. Walk or hike, practice yoga, swim, wrestle with the kids, chop wood, work in the yard, or start a spontaneous living-room dance party.

Here is information from the Mayo Clinic about exercise:

  • It pumps up endorphins. Physical activity may help bump up the production of your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. Although this function is often referred to as a runner’s high, any aerobic activity, such as a rousing game of tennis or a nature hike, can contribute to this same feeling.
  • It reduces negative effects of stress. Exercise can provide stress relief for your body while imitating effects of stress, such as the flight or fight response, and helping your body and its systems practice working together through those effects. This can also lead to positive effects in your body—including your cardiovascular, digestive and immune systems—by helping protect your body from harmful effects of stress.
  • It’s meditation in motion. After a fast-paced game of racquetball, a long walk or run, or several laps in the pool, you may often find that you’ve forgotten the day’s irritations and concentrated only on your body’s movements.
  • It improves your mood. Regular exercise can increase self-confidence, improve your mood, help you relax, and lower symptoms of mild depression and anxiety. Exercise can also improve your sleep, which is often disrupted by stress, depression and anxiety. All of these exercise benefits can ease your stress levels and give you a sense of command over your body and your life.

Be Mindful

Mindfulness can be as simple as the Two Feet, One Breath practice described at the top of this article. Mindfulness means paying attention or putting your full attention into something.

Focusing the mind can be fun and simple and doesn’t have to be quiet. Here are a few ways to practice that don’t involve a yoga mat or a meditation cushion:

  • Color
  • Work on/wash the car
  • Build something
  • Make art or do a craft project
  • Put together a puzzle
  • Laugh
  • Clean
  • More ideas: Mindful.org

Schedule Time

A day can disappear into unscheduled chaos without some intentional planning. A carefully organized calendar, with realistic boundaries, can help make sure there’s breathing room.

Set personal appointments on the calendar for fun, dates with kids, healthcare routines, and personal “me time.” If the calendar is full, be courageous about saying no and setting boundaries. If someone needs your help, find a day and time where you might be able to say yes without compromising your self-care. Remember that self-care is how you refuel; schedule it so you won’t run out of gas!

One of PAVE’s self-care videos for families is this one: Get Calm by Getting Organized.

Here’s more guidance: calendar.com: Why Stress Management and Time Management go Hand in Hand.

Seek Help

Respite care provides temporary relief for a primary caregiver. In Washington State, a resource to find respite providers is Lifespan Respite. PAVE provides an article with more information:  Respite Offers a Break for Caregivers and Those They Support.

Parents of children with developmental disabilities can seek in-home personal care services and request a waiver for respite care from the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA). Here are resources to help with that process:

For parents whose children and youth experience conditions related to behavioral health, PAVE provides a toolkit with resources for navigating crisis systems, medical care, school, and family support networks. Here are some family serving agencies:

Parents of youth who are blind or low vision may seek support from the Washington State Department of Services for the Blind (DSB). Learn from youth at PAVE: My story: The Benefits of Working with Agencies like the Washington State Department of Services for the Blind.

Parents of youth who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing (DHH) can connect with the  Office of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing | DSHS or connect with other family caregivers at Washington Hands and Voices.

Self-Care Videos for Mindfulness – Families Series

Take a Mindful Walk in Nature

Mindfulness can mean anything that helps you slow down and show up for what’s happening in a moment. This video demonstrates how to notice all of the body’s senses on a nature walk. Once it’s familiar, the concept could be useful in any environment, including indoors. Get creative and if it’s developmentally appropriate, you can encourage children to make up their own journey through their senses.

Get Calm by Getting Organized

When overwhelm is happening, it’s hard to imagine that getting organized will help. But here’s why it’s worth it: When you feel satisfied that you’ve done something, your brain releases happiness chemicals and hormones. This video provides information about how that works and how families can tap into happy by getting organized and taking time each day to celebrate everyone’s accomplishments.

Parent to Parent (P2P) Connects Caregivers Statewide for Support

A Brief Overview

Full Article

Family caregivers for children with disabilities and special healthcare needs may feel isolated or uncertain about where to seek help for their children and themselves. A place for support is Parent to Parent (P2P), a network that connects families to trained parent volunteers who have experienced a similar journey with their own children. In addition to resources and information, parents share personal support and encouragement.

Families new to the disability world can find preliminary information and request help right away by filling out a short form on a website page designed just for them, hosted by The Arc of Washington: Getting Started/Contact Us…Welcome to our World.

The first P2P program started in Nebraska in 1971. Programs started in Washington State in 1980. A national P2P network was established in 2003 to provide technical support to the statewide networks, with a goal to reach all 50 states. P2P USA provides an historical timeline.

Washington has a network of P2P programs that serve every corner of the state. The Arc provides support to the regional programs and links them to national P2P resources. Families can go to arcwa.org to find a list of P2P coordinators, organized by region and listed under the counties served.

¿Hablas español? Para más información y hacer referidos, llama a su condado abajo: Coordinadores de Enlance Hispano.

Families can request a parent match 

When reaching out to the local P2P network, families can request a “parent match.” P2P leaders will locate a helping parent volunteer who has a similar lived experience and help the families get connected. From there, a supportive relationship can develop, where empathy, hope, and strength are shared.

Helping Parents cannot provide all answers, but they share insight, solidarity, and role modeling. They also share the joy and pride they’ve experienced while watching their child grow and achieve. A phrase commonly shared is: “I know, and I understand.”

In keeping with evidence-based practices promoted by national and state P2P organizations, the helping parent volunteers are training following a specific process and all personal information is kept confidential.

P2P services are free and include:

  • Emotional support for family caregivers of children with special needs
  • Referrals for community resources
  • Information sharing about disabilities and medical conditions
  • Family matching with trained helping parents
  • Social and recreational events
  • Training for parents who would like to become helping parent volunteers
  • Disability awareness and community outreach

Someone to listen and understand

Washington’s statewide P2P is funded by The Arc of Washington State, the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA), and the Department of Health/Children with Special Health Care Needs. Individual county programs receive funding from host agencies, county DDA offices, the United Way, local grants, private donations, and more.

The Council for Exceptional Children published a research paper about P2P in 1999. Respondents to a national survey reported the following benefits from participating in P2P:

  • Someone to listen and understand (66 percent)
  • Disability information (63 percent)
  • Care for my child (58 percent
  • Ways to find services (54 percent)

Statewide, various agencies and family-led organizations host local P2P programs. An interactive map of Washington State provides an easy way to locate information in English and Spanish about a P2P program in your area.

Another way to begin is to contact the statewide P2P coordinator, Tracie Hoppis, by sending an email to: parent2parentwa@arcwa.org.

How to Cultivate Resilience like a Starfish

Starfish are masters at letting turmoil wash around them. They are also excellent models of resilience. This short video uses imagery from the sea and provides a strategy to get grounded, steady the breath, and cultivate four key aspects of resilience: purpose, connection, adaptability, and hope.

Become present and let thinking float away as you treat yourself to this opportunity to take a few minutes to care for yourself.

Breathe Mindfully and Give Your Favorite Stuffy a Ride

Even young children can become grounded and calm if breathing with intention is fun and accessible to them. This short video features two young models showing how they give their stuffed animals a ride while they breathe into and out of their tummies.

Have your child choose a comfortable place to lie down and place their stuffed animal on their tummy. Help them to notice what it’s like to breathe and watch the stuffy go up and down. Ask them what it feels like to notice their breathing and their stuffy taking a ride.

Our five-year-old model says, “I loved it and felt like I could fall asleep.”