Tips to Help Parents Reinforce Positive Behaviors at Home

A Brief Overview

  • Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS) is a strategy schools use to teach children expected behavior. Read on for PBIS strategies families can use at home.
  • A key PBIS principle is that punishment fails to teach children and youth what they should do instead. Adults can direct a child toward a better choice or interrupt an escalation cycle.
  • The easiest way to change a behavior is to point out what a person does right. Remember this catchy phrase, “5:1 gets it done,” to ensure five positive interactions for each negative interaction.
  • Parents might find success with strategies they can share with school staff eventually.
  • For additional strategies unique to COVID-19, the Office of Superintendent of Public instruction (OSPI) offers a series of 3 webinars for family caregivers. For information and links to the videos, see PAVE’s article: Webinars offer Parent Training to Support Behavior during Continuous Learning.

Full Article

Schedule changes and seasonal transitions cause emotional upheaval for some families in typical years. Summer 2020 includes unique conditions, with families moving into a summer with fewer-than-usual options to keep children busy after months of learning from home due to the COVID-19 building closures. A few strategies, described below, might help families keep things chill this summer.

Experts in education use a framework for creating a positive environment called Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS). PBIS has been implemented in more than 26,000 U.S. schools. The PBIS framework has been shown to decrease disciplinary removals and improve student outcomes, including grades and graduation rates. When done well, PBIS provides positive social skills, communication strategies and “restorative justice,” (working it out instead of punishing) and may prevent 80-90 percent of problem behaviors.

Punishment does not teach

PBIS requires an understanding that punishment fails to help a child know what to do instead. Researchers have learned that a child who is being punished enters an emotionally dysregulated state (fight/flight/freeze) that blocks learning. Adults who calmly direct a child toward a new way of problem-solving can interrupt or prevent an escalation.

Keep in mind that adults need to stay regulated to help children. For strategies related to mindfulness, see PAVE’s article: Stay Home Help: Get Organized, Feel Big Feelings, Breathe. PAVE also provides a library of short videos with mindfulness and breath practices for all ages and abilities: Mindfulness Videos.

Within a PBIS framework, de-escalation strategies might include:

  • Remove what is causing the behavior
  • Get down to eye level
  • Offer empathy—the ability to understand and share the feelings of another
  • Provide choices
  • Re-teach expectations
  • Reinforce desired behaviors
  • Communicate care instead of control

Behavior is a child’s attempt to communicate

Simple, consistent, predictable language is a critical component. Insights about these strategies and more were shared in a webinar by Change Lab Solutions on April 30, 2019.

Among experts talking about PBIS are staff at the University of Washington’s School of Mental Health Assessment, Research and Training (SMART) Center. Staff from the SMART center lead the School Mental Health supplement of the Northwest Mental Health Technology Transfer Center (NWMHTTC). These agencies, in collaboration with the League of Education Voters, in June 2019 hosted a webinar: How to Implement Mental Health Supports in Schools, focused on the importance of blending school and community supports with PBIS.

A University of Washington (UW) expert who participated in the webinar is Kelcey Schmitz, a former OSPI staff member who has written articles for PAVE about positive behavior supports and state initiatives and has experience helping families and schools implement PBIS.

“PBIS is a game changer for children and youth with behavior challenges and their teachers and caregivers,” Schmitz says. “In fact, everyone can benefit from PBIS. Behavior is a form of communication, and PBIS aims to reduce problem behavior by increasing appropriate behavior and ultimately improving quality of life for everyone. The same approaches used by schools to prevent problem behaviors and create positive, safe, consistent and predictable environments can be used by families at home.”

Schmitz, an MTSS training and technical assistance specialist, provides the following specific tips for creating a successful PBIS home environment.

Support Positive Behavior before there is a problem

PBIS is set up with three layers—called tiers—of support. The parent-child relationship is strengthened by loving and positive interactions at each tier.

Tier 1 support is about getting busy before there is a problem. Much like learning to wash hands to prevent getting sick, expected behavior is taught and modeled to prevent unexpected behaviors.  Parents can look at their own actions and choices and consider what children will see as examples of being respectful, responsible, and safe.

Tiers 2 and 3 are where adults provide more support for specific behaviors that are getting in the way of relationships or how the child or youth functions. In a school setting, Tier 2 is for students who need a social group or some extra teaching, practice, and reinforcement. Tier 3 supports include a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) to find out why the behavior is occurring, and an individualized Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP).

Any student may access supports that include aspects of Social Emotional Learning at all three Tiers. At home, Tiers 2 and 3 naturally will be more blended and may include support from a community provider. Note that targeted interventions in Tiers 2-3 work best when Tier 1 is already well established.

Define, teach, and routinely acknowledge family expectations

  • Discuss how you want to live as a family and identify some “pillars” (important, building-block concepts) that represent what you value. Talk about what those pillars look like and sound like in every-day routines. To help the family remember and be consistent, choose only 3-5 and create positive statements about them. Here are a few examples:
    • Speak in a respectful voice.
    • Be responsible for actions.
    • Be safe; keep hands, feet, and objects to self.
  • Identify a couple of “hot spots” to begin. Challenging behaviors often occur within routines.  Perhaps mornings or mealtimes create hot spots for the family. After discussing 1-2 ways to be respectful, responsible, and safe in the morning, teach what each looks like. Have fun with it! Set up “expectation stations” for practicing the plan and assign each family member one pillar to teach to the rest.
  • Behaviors that get attention get repeated. Notice when a child does the right thing and say something about each success: “I noticed you stopped to pick up your shoes in the hallway. Thanks for putting them away and keeping the walkway safe for others.” The easiest way to change a behavior is to point out what a person does right!
  • Remember this catchy phrase, “5:1 gets it done” to ensure five positive interactions for each negative interaction. When the expected behavior becomes routine, the reinforcement can fade away.

Create engaging and predictable routines

  • Children crave structure and routine. Adults may look forward to a relaxing evening or weekend, but kids often need regular activity and engagement. Consider that either the kids are busy, or the adults are busy managing bored kids!
  • Use visuals to create predictability. A visual schedule can display major routines of the day with pictures that are drawn, real photos or cut-outs from magazines. Create the schedule together, if possible.  Parents can ask a child to check the schedule – especially when moving from a preferred to non-preferred activity. It’s hard to argue with a picture!

Set the stage for positive behavior

  • Teach, pre-teach, and re-teach. Children need to learn behavior just like they learn colors and shapes. A quick reminder can help reinforce a developing skill: “When we get in the car, sit up, buckle up, and smile!”
  • Give transition warnings or cues to signal the end of one activity and the beginning of another: “In five minutes, it will be bath time.”
  • First/then statements set up a child for delayed gratification: “First take your bath; then we can play dolls.”
  • Focus on Go instead of Stop. Children often tune out words like NoDon’t and Stop and only hear the word that comes next, which is what an adult is trying to avoid. Tell a child what to do instead of what not to do: “Take your plate and put it in the sink.” Save Stop and No for dangerous circumstances that need a quick reaction.
  • Choices prevent power struggles: “Would you rather play for five more minutes or get in the bath now?”  “Feel free to choose the pink pajamas or the green ones.”

While these strategies may not eliminate all problem behaviors, they create consistency, predictability, and a more positive atmosphere. They teach new skills to help children get their needs met. The solid foundation will help even if challenging behaviors persist by creating a bedrock for additional layers of support.

Here are places to seek additional information:

Parenting with Positive Behavior Support: A Practical Guide to Resolving Your Child’s Difficult Behavior 

Home and Community Based Positive Behavior Support Facebook Page

Home and Community PBS Website

Parent Center Hub Positive Behavior Supports Resource Collection

Intensive Intervention: An Overview for Parents and Families

The Association for Positive Behavior Support

Getting Behavior in Shape at Home

Family Resources for Challenging Behavior

The National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations (NCPMI) Resource Library, articles in multiple languages

Quick Look: How to Prepare for a Virtual Meeting

Schools and families continue to meet virtually to discuss special education services during the closures related to the coronavirus pandemic. Here are tips to help family members prepare for remote meetings to discuss a student’s Individualized Education Program (IEP), a Section 504 Plan, evaluation for special education services or something else related to a special education student’s needs and learning program.

For more comprehensive information, see PAVE’s article, IEP on Pause? How to Support Continuous Learning with School Buildings Closed.”

  • Determine a regular communication plan with the school. That might include email, telephone, text, web-based meetings, U.S. mail, packet delivery by school bus…  whatever works for regularly checking in.   
  • Family caregivers can request meetings. PAVE provides a template to formalize the request: Sample Letter to Request an IEP Meeting. Included with the letter template is detail about who is required to attend IEP meetings, and those requirements have not changed.
  • The Special Education Continuous Learning Plan is provided by the Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) to support but not replace the IEP during the national crisis caused by the coronavirus pandemic. Included in the form is a sample meeting agenda.
  • Consider confidentiality and privacy issues. Ask school staff to describe how privacy and confidentiality are protected through a suggested meeting platform, and make sure to have any passwords or PINs ready to use when you log in or call into a meeting.
  • Before a meeting, ask to sign any necessary paperwork or releases to have special education records sent electronically via email. Special education records can include meeting notifications, IEP or Section 504 documents, assessments, progress reports, Prior Written Notices that describe meetings and planned actions, or other materials that contribute to the program review and goals.  
  • Review records before the meeting and write down questions to ask during the meeting. PAVE provides a Parent Handout Form or, for self-advocates, a Student Handout Form, that can help organize concerns and questions. Another version of a Parent Input Form is provided by the Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI).
  • Carefully review goals, services, accommodations, modifications and consider how they might apply or need to be adjusted for current circumstances. Think creatively and prepare to collaborate and request expertise from school staff. Pay special attention to the present levels of academic achievement and functional performance. These present levels statements, within the first pages of the IEP document, describe how the student is doing and where there are challenges. Wrightslaw.com provides tools specifically to support parents in reviewing IEP present levels in preparation for a meeting during COVID-19.
  • Consider whether the student will attend the meeting. A student who is 14 or older is invited as part of the state’s Pathways to Graduation planning. PAVE provides an article: Attention Students: Lead your own IEP meetings and take charge of your future.
  • Communicate early—before the scheduled meeting—to request updates about progress, a student’s present levels of performance, or other concerns. If family caregivers build a handout for the meeting, that can be submitted ahead of time to ensure that this information is part of the agenda.
  • Family members can request a practice session to test the technology. Part of that training might include practice sharing the screen to make sure everyone will be able to view important documents during the formal meeting.
  • As with in-person meetings, family participants can invite support people. A friend or family member might be able to attend and take notes.
  • Refer to parent and/or student input forms to stay on topic and ensure that all concerns and questions are addressed.
  • When the meeting ends, family participants can ask for a copy of the program recommendations page.
  • After the IEP meeting, the school provides a Prior Written Notice (PWN) to the family participants to review meeting notes and any decisions, agreements, or disagreements. Ask when and how the PWN will be provided. Family participants have the right to request amendments or corrections to the PWN.
  • Be sure to leave with a clear action plan. Here are key questions to ask and record:
    • What will happen?
    • Who is responsible?
    • When will the actions happen? Are there timelines?
    • How will we communicate for follow through?
  • As with any meeting, any unresolved issues can be addressed in a follow-up meeting.

To learn more, PAVE provides a six-minute overview of IEP basics and a 30-minute training video about special education.   

Census 2020: Submit Your Response to Ensure Schools and Other Programs get Funding

The United States Census collects information to figure out how to spend about $1.5 trillion each year. Communities get federal money based on how many people of various ages live there. Money for special education, foster care, children’s health insurance and many other programs is distributed more fairly when the federal government has an accurate count of people living in each community.

The federal government counts citizens only every 10 years, so communities where people are undercounted might not get the money they need for a full decade. According to Count All Kids, the 2010 U.S. Census missed more than 10 percent of children under age 5. Count All Kids provides materials to help families understand why submitting accurate information is important. If a two-year-old isn’t included as a household member, for example, the community will have less money for education, childcare, and other services until that child has a chance to be counted at age 12.

A one-minute YouTube video with Sesame Street characters is a family-friendly way to learn more about Census 2020. For another musical take on why an accurate count is critical, talk show host and comedienne Samantha Bee shared a song about the Census by Baltimore rapper TT The Artist on her stay-home version of the show, Full Frontal.

The National Association for Family, School and Community Engagement (NAFSCE) provides materials to help families understand how to complete their census forms and why their accurate response is important. A recorded webinar from March 30, 2020, is available on YouTube: The 2020 Census and Equity – Why It Matters and How You Can Help.

Minority communities suffer when children aren’t counted

NAFSCE notes that poor and racial minority communities tend to suffer most when families don’t count their children: “Young children had by far the highest net undercount of any age group in the 2010 census. Black and Hispanic children are missed at more than two times the rate of white children.”

Homes received Census forms in the mail this winter/early spring. The questions take about 10 minutes to answer and the responses can be filed online, by phone, or by mailing in a paper form.

In Washington, the Office of Financial Management oversees a Complete Count Committee to help the public access and submit forms to include all members of their family. The state’s website includes a map of legislative districts that are drawn based on Census data and other information about programs that are impacted by the numbers:

“For every 100 households missed in the 2020 Census count, the state could lose up to $5.8 million, which would affect the ability to support children, veterans, senior citizens and middle- and low-income families adequately. An accurate count of Washington’s communities will ensure the fair distribution of taxpayers’ funds and political representation.”

Household information is confidential

On pages that address questions and concerns of families, the Office of Financial Management includes information about confidentiality and privacy protections: 

“The Census Bureau collects data for statistical purposes only. It combines your responses with information from other households or businesses to produce statistics, which never identify your household, any person in your household, or your business. Your information is confidential. By law, the Census Bureau will never identify you individually.

“Title 13 of the U.S. Code protects the confidentiality of all your information and violating this law is a crime with severe penalties. In addition, other federal laws, including the Confidential Statistical Efficiency Act and the Privacy Act, reinforce these protections. The penalty for unlawful disclosure is a fine of up to $250,000 or imprisonment of up to 5 years, or both.”

Beware of scams: Use official forms from snail mail

CensusOutreach.org provides a timeline for 2020 reporting. Families receive notifications by mail and are encouraged to submit response by the end of April. The last day for households to self-respond online, by phone or by mail is July 31, 2020. The Census Bureau will not email or text people for the 2020 Census and encourages people to beware of scams: Do not open or respond to any links sent by email or text that reference the Census. Official forms come through U.S. Mail.

Hard to Count Maps 2020 provides an interactive map that shows how various states are doing in collecting census data and provides state-by-state details about return rates and where to go for further information. If online access is difficult, Washington families can contact the state Office of Financial Management by phone for more information: 360-902-0584.

Families and Youth Have a Voice on Mental Health Matters Through FYSPRT

A Brief Overview

  • FYSPRT (pronounced fiss-burt) is a hard acronym to learn, but it’s worth the effort for families and young people who want to talk about improving mental healthcare systems.
  • Here’s what FYSPRT means: Family members, Youth and System Partners (professionals) get together at a “Round Table” (meaning everyone has an equal voice) to talk about issues related to emotional distress, mental illness and/or substance-use disorder. All participants share ideas about what helps and what could make things better.
  • The Washington State Health Care Authority (HCA) provides a map of the 10 FYSPRT regions and includes contact information for local leaders and a schedule of where/when meetings are held.
  • FYSPRT began after a class-action lawsuit against the state, TR v Dreyfus. The litigation resulted in development of the state’s out-patient mental-health services program for youth—Wraparound with Intensive Services (WISe).
  • FYSPRT is a place where families provide feedback about WISe, but all community members are welcome—regardless of age or agency affiliation.
  • Some regional FYSPRTs sponsor separate meetings and social events for youth.

Full Article

Parents and young people who struggle with emotional distress, mental illness and/or substance-use disorder can feel powerless to affect change in a complicated medical system. The Family, Youth and System Partner Round Table (FYSPRT) provides a meeting space for family members and professionals to talk about what’s working and what isn’t working in mental healthcare. The groups also provide informal networking and can provide ways for families to meet up and support one another under challenging circumstances.

The state sponsors 10 FYSPRT groups to serve every county: A list of the groups and which counties they serve is included at the end of this article. Each group reports to a statewide FYSPRT, which provides information to state government to influence policy. The Washington State Health Care Authority (HCA) provides a map of the FYSPRT regions and includes contact information for local leaders and a schedule of where/when meetings are held.

FYSPRT began as part of a class-action lawsuit against the state, referred to as TR v Dreyfus. The litigation began in 2009, and settlements were mediated in 2012-13. The federal court found that Washington wasn’t providing adequate mental-health services to youth and required that the state start delivering intensive community-based mental-health treatment. The state responded by developing the Wraparound with Intensive Services (WISe) program for youth under 21 who are eligible for Medicaid. WISe teams provide a wide range of therapies and supports with a goal to keep the young person out of the hospital, which costs more and can be traumatizing.

Young people under 18 who need residential care are referred to the Children’s Long-Term Inpatient program: PAVE’s website provides an article about CLIP.

To provide accountability for the delivery of WISe services, the state created FYSPRT as a forum for families to provide feedback about how the program is working. The mission is to provide an equal platform for everyone within the community to strengthen resources and create new approaches to address behavioral needs of children and youth.

 

FYSPRT provides a space where youth impacted by behavioral health issues and their family members can share ideas about what works well and what would work better. The FYSPRT model is based on the belief that everyone’s unique perspective is equally important, and everyone is invited. For many parents and youth, FYSPRT becomes a place to bond and connect to support one another. Some regional FYSPRTs include separate meetings for youth, and those groups can become a key social outlet.

 

FYSPRT meetings are open to all interested community members. Each community has unique participants depending on what agencies work in the cities and towns within the region.

Staff who serve families through WISe are key participants. Other attendees are case managers from the state’s Medicaid-provider agencies, behavioral health counselors, foster-care workers, staff of homeless programs and staff and volunteers from affiliates of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Other participants are leaders of support groups for youth in recovery or working with issues related to gender identity or sexuality. PAVE staff are regular attendees in many regions, and PAVE manages the Salish FYSPRT program.

Every area of the state of Washington has its own FYSPRT, overseen by the Health Care Authority.  Each of the ten FYSPRT regions is comprised of a single county or up to eight adjoining counties. In order to create greater participation from the general public, transportation and childcare stipends are available for families and youth in most areas. Some groups provide free meals for everyone and/or gift card incentives for the families and young people who attend.

Here are links to each regional FYSPRT’s website and a list of the counties each represents:

Great Rivers Regional FYSPRT – Cowlitz, Grays Harbor, Lewis, Pacific

HI-FYVE – Pierce

King County’s Family Youth Council – King

North Central Washington FYSPRT – Chelan, Douglas, Grant, Okanogan

North Sound Youth and Family Coalition – Island, San Juan, Snohomish, Skagit, Whatcom

Northeast FYSPRT – Adams, Ferry, Lincoln, Pend Oreille, Spokane, Stevens

Salish FYSPRT – Clallam, Jefferson, Kitsap

Southeast FYSPRT – Asotin, Benton, Columbia, Franklin, Garfield, Kittitas, Whitman, Yakima

Southwest FYSPRT – Clark, Klickitat, Skamania

System of Care Partnership – Mason, Thurston

Self-Care is Critical for Caregivers with Unique Challenges

Consider that 20 percent of the population has a disability. That’s one-fifth of all people who need extra support! Caregivers for those high-needs individuals may experience compassion fatigue and stress at high levels. National Geographic’s film, Stress, Portrait of a Killer, provides an overview of the risks and includes a story of parents who care for a child with special needs (See Minute 38 for that section of the report). 

The way to manage chronic stress is consistent self-care. Here are ways to stay mentally and physically healthy. In other words, here’s how caregivers can pull on that oxygen mask first in order to be well enough to assist others!

1. Connect

Meet up with people who get what you are going through. Schedule coffee with another parent with similar challenges on a regular basis. Parents often find each other at school, but here are other ideas about where you might find one another: Special Olympics practice, Special Needs Parent-Teacher Association, extracurricular events. A local Parent-to-Parent network can help by matching parents with similar interests or by providing a regular parent-group meeting.  

2. Sleep

The body uses sleep to recover, heal, and process stress. Here are ideas if anxiety or intrusive thinking interrupts sleep: Turn off screens after 7 p.m.—or use a blue-light filter; find sleep-music beats or a hypnosis program online; drink a calming herbal tea, such as chamomile; journal to process thoughts before bed. For more ideas, visit Sleepfoundation.org.

3. Exercise

Go for a walk, practice yoga, swim, wrestle with your kids, chop wood, work in the yard, or have a living-room dance party. Moving releases feel-good body chemicals. Check out the Mayo Clinic for more information on exercise and stress.

4. Be Mindful

Mindfulness can be as simple as taking time to notice your breath and focus attention there. Other ways to focus the mind for a general calming benefit: meditate, color, work on a car, build something, do art, put together a puzzle. The key is to find a quiet place that feels nurturing and calming. For more resources, check out mindful.org.

5. Make Time

An overfull calendar or unscheduled chaos can take over the day. A carefully organized calendar, managed with realistic boundaries, can help: If someone requests time, the calendar clearly shows when a meeting is possible. Parents can set SMART goals for a day, week or month: Assess whether the goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and bound by a clear Timeframe. PAVE’s article on SMART Goals can help parents manage time while learning about how to assist with educational planning. Another resource with time-management tools: calendar.com: Why Stress Management and Time Management Go Hand in Hand.

6. Seek Help

Respite care provides temporary relief for a primary caregiver. In Washington State, a resource to find respite providers is Lifespan Respite. Parents of children with disabilities can apply through the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA) to seek eligibility for in- home personal care services and to request a waiver for respite care. For further detail about how to access services, refer to wapave.org DDA Access video or Informingfamilies.org DDA services.