Online – Pierce County P2P Helping Parent Training

July 24 @ 10:00 am 12:00 pm PDT

REGISTER Pierce County Parent to Parent partners with The Arc of Washington and Pierce County Community Connections to provide support, information, and education for parents of children with disabilities and special healthcare needs.

This is the required training to become a 1:1 helping parent volunteer and support other parents who have just learned their child has a condition or need support for any reason.

What is a “Helping Parent?”

A Helping Parent is a parent or guardian of a child with a disability, developmental delay, or ongoing medical need who has completed training from the Parent to Parent (P2P) Program. Helping Parents are thoughtfully matched with families whose children have similar experiences or diagnoses. Through one-on-one emotional and informational support, they offer understanding, encouragement, and shared wisdom. At the heart of this connection is the message: “I’ve been there—I understand.”

What Will I Learn?

  • Emotional Support Strategies
  • Emotional Responses
  • Self-Care Strategies
  • The Match Process
  • Empowerment
  • Communication & Active Listening
  • Volunteer Expectations
  • Ways to volunteer
  • PAVE Programs
  • Local Resources
Free

Life After High School: Tools for Transition

Planning for life after high school doesn’t happen all at once—it takes thoughtful coordination and clear next steps. With the right tools and support, students can explore their strengths, set meaningful goals, and build a path toward adulthood with confidence. Connecting planning efforts across school, family, and community helps create a smoother, more supported transition.

A Brief Overview

  • Transition planning brings together school, family, and community supports to prepare students for adult life.
  • The “Transition Triangle” highlights tools to guide students in developing and meeting goals for their life after high school.
  • The High School and Beyond Plan (HSBP) helps students explore interests, strengths, and future goals while creating a roadmap for after graduation.
  • Students use guiding questions to better understand who they are, what they want for their future, and how to begin working toward those goals.
  • The IEP Transition Plan provides individualized goals and services focused on education, employment, and independent living for students with disabilities.
  • Agency supports and adult services help students prepare for adult responsibilities and opportunities.

Introducing the Transition Triangle

Helping a student with disabilities prepare for life after high school requires thoughtful organization and planning. This graphic provides a visual overview of the work and who is responsible to help.

The transition triangle talks about the relationship between the High School and Beyond Plan , the IEP transition plan and Agency supports from DDA, DVR and DSB. within that triangle of support is the student asking themselves: Who they are, what is their future and their goals.

The three colored triangles on the corners of the graphic represent three tools that help students ask and answer these questions. This article explains these tools, starting with a video presentation.

Tools for Transition Video

This presentation describes three ways to support this important time of life:

  1. High School and Beyond Plan: Helps students identify their interests, strengths, goals, and future plans.
  2. IEP Transition Plan: Helps students with disabilities prepare for adult life through individualized transition services and goals.
  3. Agency Supports and Adult Services: Connects students and families to community agencies and adult-service systems before leaving school. (The infographic section previously labeled “Agency Help” in the video presentation has been updated to “Agency Supports and Adult Services.”)

Transcript for Life After High School Tools for Transition:

Helping a student with disabilities prepare for Life After High School requires thoughtful organization and planning. This presentation describes three ways to support this important time of life. This triangle shows the three tools we’re going to talk about.

Helping a student with disabilities prepare for life after high school requires thoughtful organization and planning. This presentation describes three ways to support this important time of life. This triangle shows the three tools we’re going to talk about. Notice that the center of the triangle includes three questions for a young person to consider: who am I, what’s my future, and how do I reach my goals? The three colored triangles show different ways that adults can help a student ask and answer those questions. We’re going to talk about all three tools in this training. Let’s start with the purple triangle on the bottom left corner. This tool is called high school and beyond plan. Schools in Washington state are required to help students start high school and beyond plan before they leave middle school. The school’s counseling staff is usually responsible to support each student in building a high school and beyond plan. Think of the high school and beyond plan as a personalized pathway through school. This tool is provided for all students, not just students with disabilities. By the end of 8th grade, a student has completed a career interest and skills inventory to consider education and career goals. That’s part of the plan. The student might be considering going to a university or a technical college. They might want to do an apprenticeship program or get an industry standard certificate to do a specific job. Maybe they’re thinking about military training, on the job training, or something else. All are considered as part of high school and beyond planning. Thinking about the future helps with decisions about what to focus on now. Of course, most students change their plans many times.

That’s why the high school and beyond plan is reviewed at least once a year. Keep in mind that the students vision for their future is the focus of the plan. These are the three questions every high school and beyond plan is required to address: who am I, what can I become, how do I become that? You might notice these questions match the questions in the center of our transition triangle. This is where the whole process begins, with these questions. It’s never too early to start talking to a student about these questions. Discussing these questions with many different people in many different settings is part of high school and beyond planning. This is not a single interview. It’s a long-term discussion that happens while a student is moving through school and toward graduation. If the high school and beyond plan is a new concept for you, take a moment to pause and consider who at your school might provide more information about this process.

Perhaps take a moment to write yourself a reminder note to get more information. Could you contact your students counselor, the IEP case manager, a school administrator, or maybe a favorite teacher? Could you ask your student? The state instructs schools to include family caregivers in this process. Remember that a completed high school and beyond plan is required for a student to graduate from a high school in Washington state. Let’s look at the blue triangle on the lower right side of our transition triangle so we can talk about the IEP transition plan. The individualized education program, IEP, is required to include a transition plan by the school year when a student turns 16. This plan is an IEP team project.

Keep in mind that the student and parents are important members of the IEP team. Here’s some information to better understand this required part of a student’s school services program. The federal law that governs special education is the Ida, which stands for individuals with disabilities education act. Laws about IEP process are mostly from idea part B. Part A is also important when we’re talking about adult life planning. Part A of the idea describes the laws purpose. The statement on this slide is from idea part A. It says that special education is provided to ensure that all children with disabilities have available to them a free and appropriate public education designed to meet their individual needs and prepare them for further education, employment, and independent living. In simpler words, supporting students with disabilities to make a smooth transition into adult life is part of a school’s basic responsibility.

Here’s some information about the IEP transition plan. Most importantly, the plan is built from the students needs, preferences, interests, and strengths. Once the plan is written into the IEP, it drives the program. The annual goals all connect in some way to the students adult life plan. The IEP transition plan includes adult living objectives in three areas: postsecondary education, acquisition of daily living skills, and vocational evaluation and support. Washington schools receive guidance from the office of superintendent of public instruction, OS Pi, our state educational agency. OSPI provides model forms to support schools and families when developing an IEP. This form shows what to include in an IEP when transition programming is added.

This section of the model form shows that a student must be invited to IEP meetings once transition planning is included, and an age appropriate transition assessment is required. Transition assessments include a range of tools, including surveys and questionnaires, profiles and portfolios, vocational assessments, interviews, and more. This form makes clear that a transition plan is not built from a quick meeting but is a multi-part process. State guidance is clear that the IEP transition plan is intended to support rather than replace the students high school and beyond plan. Here’s some questions you can consider to make sure the transition plan is well written: is the plan age appropriate? Goals should be achievable but not too easy, based on the age and abilities of the student. Is information provided by more than one source? This is a long-term project with many participants. Is a target graduation date included? The IEP team decides when a student will graduate, and the family is part of that decision process. Are the annual goals relevant to the long-term goals? Do the postsecondary goals consider all areas of life after high school? And keep this one in mind: does the IEP align with the students high school and beyond plan? The state educational agency ospi provides information about how the high school and beyond plan and the IEP transition plan are supposed to work together.

Here’s a visual list of the four areas to cover in transition planning: employment, further education, independent living, and community engagement. Remember the three questions for for our student. They are, who am I, what’s my future, and how do I reach the go my goals? Adults can help the student ask and answer those questions for each of these four areas of learning and life. Here’s something else to remember. The IEP ends when a student graduates from high school or ages out of services at 21. However, accommodations on the IEP can travel with the student into higher education, vocational programming, or work. The accommodations are protected by federal civil rights laws, including Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act. Those protections are for the lifespan. High school is a great time to make sure accommodations are individualized and well written, and that the student knows what they are and how to ask for them.

Let’s look at the last part of our transition triangle. The teal triangle at the top represents public agencies that might support a young person to get a job. I will explain what each of these means in a few moments. All these agencies provide individualized support that may help a young person get ready for work, get a job, or keep a job. Eligibility criteria IA for each of these agencies is a little bit different, and you must apply to access their services. Some agencies offer programs to help students with disabilities explore work and self advocacy while they are still in school. Those services are called pre-employment transition services. Pre-employment transition services might include job EX exploration, work-based learning, counseling about higher education and how to gear up for college, workplace readiness, and self-advocacy, like special education rights. Vocational rehabilitation rights are protected by law.

If these service agencies are new to you, consider if you want to get more information about how to involve an outside public agency in life after high school planning. Maybe a school counselor, administrator, or teacher could help, or maybe it’s a question for your IEP team. Sometimes special education district staff can help contact these agencies with you. Staff at pave can also help you research your options. Click get help at our website wapave.org to request our support. So take a moment, if you want to write down an idea so you remember to follow up. I’m going to tell you more about each of these agencies on the next

slide. You may want to reach out directly to one of these agencies by looking them up online. DDA is the developmental disabilities administration. DVR is the division of vocational rehabilitation. TVR is tribal vocational rehabilitation for Native Americans with disabilities. dsb is the department of services for the blind, for people with blindness or low vision. The next few slides have additional information to help with your students life after high school planning. Everyone in the family needs to keep in mind that when a student turns 18 in Washington, they are responsible for their own educational decisions. If the student is ready and able to take charge, nothing needs to happen. If the student still wants parents involved, then the student signs a letter of consent for parents to attend meetings and continue participating on the IEP team. Parents who have legal guardianship have a larger role in decision making and may not need their student to sign consent.

In Washington state, one legal option for supporting an adult with disabilities is called supported decision making. This slide shows an article available on PA’s website with more information about supported decision making and how to access a sample form. Families need to know that their students can participate in commencement and other senior year activities with their classmates even if they aren’t yet earning a diploma. That state right is protected by Kevin’s Law. School staff recommend that families plan early for senior year activities so appropriate accommodations can be provided. Listed on this slide are places that schools and families might get more help.

The three O’s are the Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction, the Office for Civil Rights, and the Governor’s Office of the Educational Ombuds. Another option is to reach out to one of the state’s nine educational service districts, the ESD’s. If the school district doesn’t have everything your student needs, you and the school might seek additional resources from the ESD that serves your area. Each ESD has a behavioral health navigator, for example, and some ESD’s are licensed to provide behavioral health services.

Another place to get help for supporting a loved one with a disability is the DD ombuds. This agency provides advocacy to support quality of life for people with developmental disabilities. Their staff can help individuals file complaints related to disability discrimination.

This training has been provided by parent training and information, PTI, a program of pave. We provide information, resources, and direct support. Click get help at wapave. org and one of our staff will contact you. You can also leave a message by phone to request help, and that number is 800 572 7368. If you need help with the accessibility of any of our resources, please let us know. We provide language translation options. Additional information on this topic is available as part of PAVE’s online toolkit called school to adulthood transition planning toolkit for high school life and work. Look for the button under the calendar on our website. Please note that pave is not a legal service organization and cannot give you legal advice or represent you. PTI’s funding comes from a US Department of Education grant, but the government doesn’t review our training materials in order to endorse them. We’d love to know whether this video was helpful for you. On the page where you found this video, there’s a link to a short survey. Thank you for sharing your feedback. Thank you for listening and learning, and please contact us if you need individualized assistance or further training opportunities.

La Vida Después de la Preparatoria – Herramientas para la Transición (Spanish)

High School and Beyond Plan (HSBP)

The purple triangle on the bottom left represents the High School and Beyond Plan (HSBP). In Washington State, all students begin developing an HSBP before they leave middle school. This plan helps students think about strengths, goals, and the steps needed for life after high school.

Students think about questions such as:

  1. What am I interested in?
  2. What kind of job or career might I want in the future?
  3. What skills, education, or training will I need to reach my goals?

The HSBP helps students create a roadmap for life after high school, connecting classroom learning, workforce exploration, and post-secondary education planning to the students’ future goals.  

Learn more about the HSBP in this PAVE article: Students’ Guide to the High School & Beyond Plan.

Key Questions for Students

At the center of the Transition Triangle are three key questions to help students guide transition planning and think about who they want to become in the future.

  1. Who am I?

Answers include:

  • What is the student interested in?
  • What are they good at?
  • What do they struggle with?
  • How do they see themselves?
  1. What is my future?

Students can begin to imagine:

  • Where might they work?
  • Will higher education be part of their future?
  • Where do they want to live?
  1. How do I reach my goals?

The answers are a long-term project. A good planning process ensures that work done today is moving the student toward their vision for adult life.

  • What skills do they need to learn?
  • Who can support them?
  • What can they do now to prepare?

PAVE has made a fillable worksheet to help you answer these questions.

Download the Transition Triangle worksheet

The Transition Plan

The blue triangle on the bottom right represents the transition plan. Students receiving special education services; transition planning must be included in the IEP no later than the school year in which they turn 16. A student with disabilities may receive services under a transition plan until they earn a diploma or turn 22.

These goals typically include:

  • Education and Training: college, vocational training, and apprenticeship.
  • Employment: exploring careers, gaining work experience, and preparing for a job.
  • Independent Living: building skills for daily life, transportation, housing, and community participation.

The Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) provides an example of the transition plan in there Model Forms, labeled as “IEP Form with Secondary Transition.”

Agency Support and Adult Services

The teal triangle on top of the pyramid represents agencies that provide Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) services, including:

  1. Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA)
  2. Provides home and community-based services for eligible students with intellectual and developmental disabilities through Medicaid waivers.
  3. Provides person-centered service planning to identify individualized supports for building community and planning for major life transitions, such as graduation from high school, independent living, and career goals.
  4. Division of Vocational Rehabilitation (DVR)
  5. Provides Student and Youth VR Transition Services for students with disabilities, ages 14-22.
  6. Provides Pre-Employment Transition Services (Pre-ETS) for students still in school as well as vocational rehabilitation services for adults with disabilities.
  7. Tribal Vocational Rehabilitation (TVR): Provides employment and vocational rehabilitation services to American Indians and Alaska Natives with disabilities living in tribal service areas.
  8. Department of Services for the Blind (DSB): Provide services to people of all ages who are blind, deaf-blind, or have low vision, helping them gain the skills, resources, and support they need to live independently at home, in school, at work, and in their communities.

Staff from these agencies may work alongside the student’s IEP team, school staff, and family to ensure everyone is working together toward the student’s goals.

The Transition Triangle works best when all parts are connected. When schools, families, community agencies, and the student collaborate, they can provide coordinated support that helps the student successfully transition to adult life, including education, employment, independent living, and community participation.

Learn More

OSPI provides information about graduation requirements for a student in Washington State.

Legal decision-making rights, including educational rights, transfer to the student when they turn 18 (WAC 392-172A-03090). PAVE provides an article about Supported Decision Making for individuals who may need support with understanding options, making informed choices, and communicating their decisions while maintaining their independence.

Each Education Service Districts (ESDs) has a behavioral health navigator, and some are licensed to provide behavioral health services.

PAVE provides toolkits ready for you, including Planning My Path – A User-Friendly Toolkit for Young Adults. In addition, PAVE has a college readiness workbook ready for you to use. 

The Office of the Educational Ombuds (OEO) provides online resources and 1:1 support. For additional support, fill out our Get Support request to connect with a PAVE team member. The Office for Civil Rights (OCR) can help with questions about equity and access.

Evaluations Part 1: Where to Start When a Student Needs Special Help at School

When a student is struggling in school and may have a disability, families can request a formal evaluation to explore eligibility for special education services. The process includes submitting a written referral, participating in a team-based assessment, and using the results to guide individualized supports. Even if a student doesn’t qualify for an IEP, other protections and accommodations may still be available. 

A Brief Overview 

  • Special Education is provided through the Individualized Education Program (IEP) for students with qualifying disabilities. 
  • Anyone with knowledge of a student’s needs can make a referral for evaluation. 
  • If a student is struggling and has a known or suspected disability, the school must evaluate to determine eligibility for special education. 
  • Referrals must be made in writing, and schools must support families in removing barriers to this process, including providing translation and interpretation. 
  • To qualify for an IEP, a student must meet three criteria: have a disability, experience adverse educational impact, and need Specially Designed Instruction (SDI). 
  • Families are active participants in the evaluation and IEP development process and may request revisions to evaluation summaries and IEP statements. 
  • Eligibility is determined based on how a disability affects learning, not solely on a medical diagnosis, and must fit one of 14 federally recognized categories. 
  • Schools follow specific timelines for responding to referrals, completing evaluations, and developing IEPs.  
  • PAVE provides Sample Letters to Support Families in Their Advocacy, including a Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation

Introduction

When a student is struggling in school and may have a disability, families have the right to ask for an evaluation to better understand their child’s needs. This process helps identify learning challenges and guides decisions about supports that can make school more accessible. Starting with a referral for evaluation, families and schools can work together to identify what a student needs to thrive with individually tailored school-based supports. 

Anyone with knowledge of a student’s learning or developmental needs can make a referral for special education evaluation. This includes parents, guardians, family members, teachers, school staff, counselors, early learning providers, and even community members. Referrals can be made for students ages 3–22 who are suspected of having a disability and may need special education services.

School districts are required to actively seek out and evaluate students who may need support. This responsibility is called Child Find, and it is part of the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).

Removing the Barriers to Evaluation

Schools must support individuals who are unable to write by helping them complete the referral in another format. This includes offering assistance in drafting the referral or providing alternative methods such as verbal requests or translated forms. The goal is to remove barriers that might prevent a family from initiating the evaluation process.

Schools are legally required to provide evaluation materials and meeting support in the family’s native language or preferred mode of communication. This includes oral translation, sign language interpretation, Braille, or other formats when written language is not used. During the evaluation process, districts must ensure that parents understand all documents and decisions, and must document that translation or interpretation was provided. For example, prior written notice must be translated orally or by other means, and the district must keep written evidence that the parent understood the content. These protections are outlined in the statewide Procedural Safeguards developed by the Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI).

Appropriate Evaluation

The IDEA requires schools to use “technically sound” instruments in evaluation. Generally, that means the tests are evidence-based as valid and reliable, and the school recruits qualified personnel to administer the tests. A single assessment tool, such as an Intelligence Quotient (IQ) test, is not enough to determine eligibility for special education services. Instead, schools must conduct a comprehensive, unbiased evaluation using multiple methods to understand a student’s unique educational needs. This process involves a team approach and includes parents or guardians as active participants. The results help guide decisions about how best to support the student’s learning.

Not every student who has a disability and receives an evaluation will qualify for an IEP. The school district’s evaluation asks 3 primary questions in each area of learning that is evaluated:

  1. Does the student have a disability?
  2. Does the disability adversely impact education?
  3. Does the student need Specially Designed Instruction (SDI)?

If the answer to all three questions is Yes, the student qualifies for an IEP.

Keep in mind that a student does not need to meet all three criteria to be evaluated. Under the Child Find Mandate of IDEA, the school district must evaluate a child if there is a known or suspected disability that may have significant impact on learning. 

From Evaluation Results to IEP

Information, or data, collected during the evaluation is essential for developing the IEP. One of the most important outcomes of the evaluation is determining whether the student needs Specially Designed Instruction (SDI), which is the “special” in special education. The evaluation determines whether SDI is needed to help a student overcome barriers and access learning in ways that work best for them.

SDI is tailored instruction that helps a student overcome barriers caused by a disability and access learning in ways that work best for them. This may include changes in content, teaching strategies, or learning environments. For example, SDI might involve breaking tasks into smaller steps, using visual supports, or providing extra time for assignments. These supports are designed to help the student make meaningful progress in school.

Understanding how SDI works can help families participate more fully in IEP development. Asking questions about SDI can lead to more effective planning and collaboration. For example:

  • What specific instruction will be provided?
  • Who will deliver it?
  • How will progress be measured?

These questions can guide meaningful conversations during IEP meetings and ensure that the IEP reflects the student’s strengths, challenges, and learning needs.

To learn more, watch PAVE’s three-part video series: Student Rights, IEP, Section 504, and More.

In What Areas Can a Student Be Evaluated?

When a parent signs consent for an evaluation, looking through the list of areas the school intends to evaluate is important to ensure that all concerning areas are included. Families can request additional areas to include in the evaluation, including a Functional Behavioral Assessment, for example.

Keep in mind that strengths are measured alongside challenges and can provide important details. An IEP should always include statements about what the student does well, and the IEP team uses this information to reinforce and build on strengths throughout the program.

Below is an infographic showing skill areas that are commonly evaluated:

Areas of evaluation

Download In What Areas Can a Student Be Evaluated?:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Somali Soomaali | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Ukrainian українська | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

Eligibility Categories for Special Education

Once a student’s evaluation confirms a disability that impacts learning, the next step is to determine whether the disability fits one of 14 federally recognized categories. These categories are outlined in Washington’s Administrative Code (WAC 392-172A-01035):

  • Autism
  • Emotional Disturbance
  • Multiple Disabilities
  • Specific Learning Disability
  • Visual Impairment / Blindness
  • Deaf-Blindness
  • Hearing Impairment
  • Orthopedic Impairment
  • Speech/Language Impairment
  • Developmental Delay (ages 0-8)
  • Deafness
  • Intellectual Disability
  • Other Health Impairment
  • Traumatic Brain Injury

These categories are intentionally broad to reflect the diverse ways disabilities can affect learning. The IEP team may discuss which category best fits the student’s unique situation. While a medical diagnosis can help inform the process, eligibility is determined by how the disability impacts the student’s education. This impact can be assessed with or without a formal diagnosis.

There is no such thing as a “behavior IEP” or an “academic IEP.” Once a student qualifies, the school is responsible for addressing all identified areas of need. The IEP is personalized to include programming, services, and placement designed to support the whole child.

In Washington State, children through age 9 may be eligible for services under the category of Developmental Delay. Full definitions for each category are available in WAC 392-172A-01035 and are also reproduced in this PAVE article: Washington Special Education Categories.

Timeline of Evaluation and Development of an IEP

The school follows set timelines for the evaluation process:

  • The school has 25 school days to respond to a written referral.
  • If they agree to evaluate the student, they have 35 school days from the date the family signs consent to complete the evaluation and provide results to the family.
  • After that, the district must wait at least 5 school days, but no more than 40 school days from consent, to hold the eligibility determination meeting.
  • If the student is found eligible, an IEP must be developed within 30 calendar days of that eligibility determination meeting.

Track your student’s progress from the point of referral for evaluation to the development of the IEP with the infographic below.

Timeline of Evaluation and development of an individualized education program (IEP)

Download the IEP Referral and Evaluation Timeline:
English

Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation

Washington law requires that referrals for special education evaluation be made in writing. If a verbal request was previously denied, start again with a formal written letter sent by email, certified mail, or delivered in person.

OSPI provides a downloadable referral form on its Making a Referral for Special Education page. The person making the referral can use this form or any other written format that clearly communicates the request to evaluate.

Address the referral to the district special education director or program coordinator, and include an administrator at the student’s school. Be sure to include the student’s full name and birthdate, a clear statement requesting evaluation in all areas of suspected disability, and specific concerns. Supporting documents or letters from doctors, therapists or other providers may be attached. Include complete contact information and a statement that the parent or guardian is prepared to sign consent for the evaluation to begin.

Download the Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Somali Soomaali | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Ukrainian українська | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

Options When Families and Schools Disagree

Families can ask school staff to explain their decisions in writing. If a parent or guardian disagrees with something the school decides, they have rights to informal and formal dispute resolution options that are protected by the IDEA. Schools must provide a document called procedural safeguards, which outlines these options and explains the rights of both students and families. PAVE continues this topic in an article: Evaluations Part 2: Next Steps if the School Says ‘No.’

Section 504 Protections

Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 is a federal civil rights law that helps protect students with disabilities from discrimination in schools that receive federal funding. It applies to individuals whose disabilities significantly affect major life activities—such as learning, breathing, walking, or concentrating. Because the law is broadly written, it can apply to a wide range of conditions and circumstances.

Students who receive services through an IEP also benefit from protections under Section 504, which are built into the IEP process. In some cases, students who don’t qualify for an IEP may still be eligible for support through a Section 504 Plan.

Protections against bullying and discriminatory discipline are aspects of Section 504. PAVE provides articles about Bullying at School: Resources and the Rights of Students with Special needs and What Parents Need to Know when Disability Impacts Behavior and Discipline at School.

Learn More

PAVE provides downloadable toolkits ready for you, including Where to Begin When a Student Needs Help. For the full list of toolkits, type “toolkit” in the search bar at the top of this page.

Click on Get Support at the top of this page to submit a Support Request and receive individually tailored support, training, information, and resources.

Online – P2P Lunch & Learn: Menstrual Hygiene for Girls with I/DD

July 16 @ 12:00 pm 1:00 pm PDT

REGISTER Join Pierce County Parent to Parent (P2P) for a free online Lunch & Learn presented by Teddy Kemirembe, MSW, Founder of Bella Smiles for DD.

This informative session will introduce Bella Smiles for DD’s Strong Girls, Healthy Cycles program and explore practical approaches to menstrual health and hygiene for girls with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD).

Learn how families can support confidence, independence, and healthy self-care habits while navigating menstrual health in a safe, supportive, and empowering environment. REGISTER

Free

Pierce P2P Family Picnic

June 27 @ 12:00 pm 3:00 pm PDT

REGISTER School’s out, summer is here, and it’s time to celebrate!

Join the Pierce County Parent to Parent (P2P) team for our Family Picnic. Come enjoy lunch, fun activities, and time to connect with other families in a welcoming, relaxed setting. We’ll be gathering in the backyard at our office and would love for you to stop by.

Whether you’re looking to make new connections, catch up with familiar faces, or simply enjoy a fun afternoon with your family, we hope you’ll join us as we celebrate the end of another school year and kick off summer together! Registration required. REGISTER

Free
6316 South 12th St.
Tacoma, Washington 98465
2535652266
View Venue Website

Online – Quick Connect Virtual Clinics

May 16 @ 11:00 am 12:00 pm PDT

504s, IEP & school support services

What is Quick Connect?
Join us for a 60 minute virtual clinic with PAVE Parent Resource Coordinators (PRC)

How it works:

  • Join the Zoom session on the scheduled date.

Choose your path:

  • Stay in the main room for general Q&A

Or

  • Enter a private 1:1 breakout with a PAVE team member
  • 1:1 sessions last 15 minutes
  • Need more time? Schedule a follow-up with the same PAVE team member!

Two meeting options each month;

  • First Tuesday of each month from 11:30 am – 12:30 pm
  • Third Saturday of each month from 11:00 am – 12:00 pm

Free

Online – Quick Connect Virtual Clinics

May 5 @ 11:30 am 12:30 pm PDT

504s, IEP & school support services

What is Quick Connect?
Join us for a 60 minute virtual clinic with PAVE Parent Resource Coordinators (PRC)

How it works:

  • Join the Zoom session on the scheduled date.

Choose your path:

  • Stay in the main room for general Q&A

Or

  • Enter a private 1:1 breakout with a PAVE team member
  • 1:1 sessions last 15 minutes
  • Need more time? Schedule a follow-up with the same PAVE team member!

Two meeting options each month;

  • First Tuesday of each month from 11:30 am – 12:30 pm
  • Third Saturday of each month from 11:00 am – 12:00 pm
Free

 I Have to Sign What? Healthcare in Transition

When young people turn 18, a lot happens. For instance, in Washington State, 18 is the age when a person legally becomes an adult and must handle tasks and make decisions that used to be made for them by adults.

Adult responsibilities and decisions can feel scary and confusing for the unprepared. Becoming responsible for medical care is part of growing up, and that process is so critical that there’s a specific name for it: healthcare transition.

For example, at age 18, a young adult is responsible for signing official paperwork to authorize procedures or therapies and to pay for co-pays. They must sign documents stating who can look at their medical records, speak with their doctors, or attend an appointment with them. Those rules are part of HIPAA, which stands for the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. HIPAA is a federal law that protects confidentiality, regardless of disability. In this video, young adults living with various disabilities and medical conditions share their journeys through the adult healthcare system. They talk about how they make decisions and how they ask for help. Their ability to explain their needs, make decisions, and speak up for themselves is called self-advocacy. Take a look and listen to what they have to say in their own words!

Learning these skills isn’t something that happens the minute you turn 18. It takes practice to learn how to ask questions at the doctor’s office, to remember to ask about medications, to bring your insurance card. If you are a youth or young adult, those are things you can start early. If you are a caregiver or parent, begin giving your young adult or child questions to ask the doctor when they go in for well-child checks at age 12 or 13. Start talking with them about the conditions they may have and answer any questions they have honestly. If they are aware of why their body is doing what it is doing they can better manage their needs and ask for help when they need it. Help them learn to manage medicine with medicine reminder apps and pill containers. These kinds of things not only set them up for success when they are 18 at the doctor’s office, but also helps them advocate better for what they need in school and the community.

Here are some great sites that provide comprehensive step by step guidance to this process. See what fits best for yourself as a young adult;  parents and guardians can think about what fits your family from their point of view.

  • Got Transition has great tools and videos for youth, families, and providers. Young adults and families developed it, so it is peer-based.
  • Charting the LifeCourse™ was created by families to help individuals and families of all abilities and all ages develop a vision for a good life, including their health care. 
  • The Center for Transition to Adult Health Care for Youth with Disabilities is a national health care transition resource center. The goal of the center is to empower youth and young adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities (ID/DD), ages 12-26, to direct their own transition from pediatric to adult care, with no reduction in quality of care and no gaps in services. 

Including Healthcare Needs and Goals in the Transition Plan

Healthcare transition is often left out of the transition process and left to parents and students to do themselves. Parents, students, and everyone on the IEP team should think about how health and healthcare can affect a student’s goals for college, work, and living on their own. Parents and students can ask that this be a part of the transition plan and can use the resources listed above in the planning process.

Including Health Considerations in the Transition Plan
5 Tips for Success in Healthcare Transition

Insurance in Healthcare Transition

Healthcare transition, like all other aspects of transitioning to adult community living, employment, and services, can be difficult. However, if teenagers and families plan ahead for the healthcare changes that occur when a child becomes an adult, things can go more smoothly and successfully. Here are some resources and information to help make the transition to adult care effectively and give young adults more confidence and self-assurance.

There are two main components for individuals transitioning from pediatric (children) to adult health care:

  • New medical providers and systems, including changes in insurance
  • The young adult’s new responsibility of being in charge of their own health care

Health Insurance and Providers

Whether an individual is on Medicaid, Medicare, or private health insurance, eligibility, costs, and covered services may change.

Washington’s Medicaid option, Apple Health, has different financial requirements for adults than it does for minors. The type of Medicaid a youth has before age 18 may change depending on the source of their income or benefits when they turn 18.

If the disability is significant, a student or young person may be on classic Medicaid. When they turn 18, they must contact the managed care organization (MCO) that is their current healthcare provider (Molina, Community Healthcare, Well Point, etc.) and:

  • Confirm who their current healthcare provider is
  • Confirm their own current address

They must do this every 12 months.

If the youth is not

  • on Supplemental Security Income (SSI),
  • receiving Developmental Disability (DDA/DDCS) services,
  • or receiving state benefits for the blind such as Aging, Blind, or Disabled (ABD) Cash Assistance or State Supplementary Payment (SSP),

then they may be on Medicaid through the healthcare exchange, the Washington Health Plan Finder.

At 18, Washington youth are required to apply for or renew Apple Health by going to the Health Plan Finder website.  Even if an individual is not eligible for fully subsidized (paid) healthcare, the Health Plan Finder can reveal some low-priced options. 

Young adults who are on their parents’ private insurance will be covered under their parents’ plan until they are 26, unless the young adult works and are covered through an employer-based plan. When they turn 26, if they are not working and are not covered by SSI/SSDI, DDA/DDCS services, or any other disability based supports, they will need to apply for their own health insurance. Again, the Health Plan Finder can help you find affordable options, including Apple Health.

For individuals under 65 who are receiving Medicare due to a disability, insurance should not change due to the transition to adulthood. It is important to know which doctors can treat an individual’s conditions and whether an insurance plan includes those doctors. To find out, call the MCO/health provider’s helpline or view their website to find out whether those doctors are included in their insurance plan. The doctor’s office will also give information on which plans they accept and which ones they don’t.

Taking on Responsibility for Health Care and Decisions

Healthcare is just one of many new responsibilities that young people take on as they become adults.  Parents can avoid overwhelming a teen with new obligations, by beginning with giving younger teens options and increasing tasks to help them adapt to this change. There are several resources for families and youth to use in this transition:

  • Family to Family has a youth-written curriculum about Transitioning to Adult Doctors to help teens start their medical transition journeys.
  • Charting the LifeCourse™ was created by families to help individuals and families of all abilities and all ages develop a vision for a good life, including their health care.
  • Got Transition is a comprehensive website about the transition to adult health care, with quizzes, FAQs, and timelines to make it easier to understand.
  • The Center for Transition to Adult Health Care for Youth with Disabilities is a national health care transition resource center. The goal of the center is to empower youth and young adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities (ID/DD) ages 12-26 to direct their own transition from pediatric to adult care with no reduction in quality of care and no gaps in service.

Beyond these resources, the most useful resource are young adults themselves. Whether you are a parent/caregiver or a transitioning individual, it’s important to recognize that lived experience provides knowledge, even in a new situation. Parents, caregivers, and young adults have knowledge of medical needs that may not be in a chart. They know about the emotional or behavioral challenges a young person has. They know the youths’ strengths, areas for growth, other important things only an individual and their family know.

Write out what you feel is most important in your health care journey over the next 5 years. What do you need to know from doctors? What do you need to know about school and work? What do you need to know about your condition? Be curious and remember what you have already done to take care of yourself. Ask your parents and caregivers about what they see as important over the next few years. Take the time to explore, then start the transition journey to adult care with an idea of what you would like.

Another group to consult are your current medical providers and specialists. They have helped many other teens transition to adult healthcare, and they are a part of developing the care plan, a critical resource for transitioning to an unfamiliar doctor or clinic when a young adult may have complex care needs. Doctors’ office staff are also used to dealing with these issues and may have some good planning advice for families. Lastly, advice from families who have already helped a child transition to adult care can know what to do and what not to do!  Parent-to-Parent can match parents up with families who have already gone through such transitions with those who seek their knowledge and experience. Informing Families has some good basic resources on its website for getting started.

5 Tips for Success in Healthcare Transition

Including Health Considerations in the Transition Plan

Parents, Students, and everyone on the IEP team should think about how health and healthcare can affect a student’s goals for college, work and living on their own. PAVE has made a fillable form that you can download when starting to think about this area in transition.

Including Health Considerations in the Transition Plan

Download the document Including Health Considerations in the Transition Plan

Autism Spectrum Disorder: Information and Resources for Families

Autism spectrum disorder can affect how a person talks, learns, and relates to others, and every individual is different. Families can learn about early signs, get help with evaluations, and find supports for school and daily life. With the right resources and support, individuals with autism can learn, grow, and thrive in their community.

A Brief Overview

  • Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a spectrum condition with varied signs and symptoms. It involves challenges in multiple areas, including social skills, emotional regulation, communication, and behavior.
  • ASD can appear differently from one person to the next, and as a child develops from infancy through adulthood. Families concerned about a child’s development can call the state’s Family Health Hotline at 1-800-322-2588. This toll-free number offers help in English, Spanish, and other languages.
  • Parents of infants and toddlers aged 0-3 with developmental concerns may benefit from the services provided by the Early Support for Infants and Toddlers (ESIT) program, which provides specialized services and support that are crucial during the early and highly formative years of a child’s life.
  • Students with ASD may qualify for school-based services through an Individualized Education Program (IEP) if their disability significantly impacts educational access. These services are determined through evaluations that can include various related conditions. A medical diagnosis is not required for school-based evaluations or interventions.
  • The Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA/DDCS) accepts diagnoses from Autism Centers of Excellence (COEs) as a component of DDA services eligibility, except for naturopathic providers.
  • Connecting with other families to share and learn from experiences is invaluable, and there is a wealth of resources available to assist those seeking support and information in Washington State. Parent to Parent (P2P) programs across various counties provide free training and support, with support groups tailored to cultural and linguistic communities such as Spanish-speaking and Black & African American families.
  • PAVE provides support to families navigating various healthcare systems related to disability. Fill out a Support Request for direct support and click on the “Health and Wellness” link to get connected with individual support.

Autism, Neurodiversity, and Families

Parents of individuals with autism have many different experiences when watching their child’s development, navigating school years and relationships, and building community and belonging. When developmental milestones aren’t met in typical timeframes, families may seek a diagnosis, medical interventions, and/or support from school.

CDC numbers show that 1 in 36 children have ASD, and 2.8% of 8-year-old children have a diagnosis of ASD. According to Washington’s Department of Health (DOH), between 23,000-48,000 of the state’s children have some form of diagnosed ASD.

April is Autism Acceptance Month, providing an opportunity to think about challenges and celebrations of individuals who experience neurodiversity.  Neurodiversity is a word used to capture the range of differences in the ways that humans function and experience the world. Much of the Autistic community rallies to honor neurodiversity, uplift the voices of self-advocates, and forward the movement of civil and social rights.

To promote dignity, neurodiversity, and empowerment, many autistic self-advocates prefer identity-first language, such as “autistic person” instead of person-first language like “person with autism.” This approach recognizes autism as an integral and inseparable part of an individual’s identity.

What is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)?

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is referred to as a “spectrum”, which means that signs and symptoms vary among individuals. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) as “a developmental disability that can cause significant social, communication and behavioral challenges.

“There is often nothing about how people with ASD look that sets them apart from other people, but people with ASD may communicate, interact, behave, and learn in ways that are different from most other people. The learning, thinking, and problem-solving abilities of people with ASD can range from gifted to severely challenged. Some people with ASD need a lot of help in their daily lives; others need less.”

A diagnosis of ASD includes several conditions that were formerly diagnosed separately, including autistic disorder, pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS), and Asperger syndrome. A short YouTube video by Osmosis.org provides an overview of ASD.

Autism Indicators and Markers Across the Lifespan

People with ASD may struggle with social, emotional, and communication skills. They might repeat certain behaviors or have rigid ideas about routines. Indicators of ASD often begin during early childhood and typically last throughout life. Professor and autism self-advocate, Dr. Stephen Shore said, “If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.” ASD can appear differently from one person to the next, and as a child develops from infancy through adulthood. There are services and supports available at each stage of development and life.

Early Childhood Indicators and Supports

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all children have a developmental screening at every well-child check-up, with an autism screening at 18 months of age and again between ages 2 and 3. To encourage early screening and intervention, the CDC provides developmental milestone trackers for children Birth-5, including a Milestone Tracker App. State-specific information about early screening recommendations and guidance is available from the Washington Department of Health (DOH). Families concerned about a child’s development can call the state’s Family Health Hotline at 1-800-322-2588. This toll-free number offers help in English, Spanish, and other languages.

  • Not pointing at objects, such as an airplane flying overhead, or looking when someone else points
  • Not wanting to be held or cuddled
  • Repeating or echoing words, phrases, or actions

Several state agencies collaborated to publish Early Learning and Development Guidelines. The booklet includes information about what children can do and learn at different stages of development, focused on birth through third grade. A free downloadable version is available in English, Somali, and Spanish on the Washington State Department of Children, Youth & Families (DCYF) website. An English translation is also available on the Office of the Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) Early Learning Resources page.

Parents of infants and toddlers aged 0-3 with developmental concerns may benefit from the services provided by the Early Support for Infants and Toddlers (ESIT) program, which provides specialized services and support that are crucial during the early and highly formative years of a child’s life. Early intervention services through ESIT not only support the child’s immediate developmental needs but also lays a foundation for their future learning and adaptation. ESIT provides the following:

Early Evaluation and Identification: ESIT helps in the early identification of developmental delays or disabilities, including autism, through assessments conducted by a team of professionals. These evaluations focus on key developmental areas such as motor skills, cognition, communication, social interaction, and self-help skills. Early diagnosis is crucial for autism, as it can lead to early intervention, which is shown to improve outcomes.

Services and Supports: Once a child is evaluated and deemed eligible, they receive an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) under Part C of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). This plan is tailored to meet the unique developmental needs of the child and considers the family’s resources, priorities, and concerns. The IFSP includes detailed information on the child’s current development levels, the specific interventions planned, and the expected outcomes. Through ESIT, children can access a wide range of early intervention services designed to address specific developmental needs associated with ASD.

Family-Centered Approach: The family plays a crucial role in the development and implementation of the IFSP. Family Resource Coordinators (FRCs) assist families in understanding their child’s needs, the available services, and the implementation of the intervention plan. This inclusive approach ensures that the family’s needs and goals are addressed, promoting a supportive environment for the child.

The ESIT website includes videos to guide family caregivers and a collection of Parent Rights and Leadership resources, with multiple language options.

Parents may also contact their local school district for evaluation. Regardless of whether a student is medically diagnosed with ASD, a school district has the affirmative duty to seek out, evaluate and serve—if eligible—any child within its boundaries who has a known or suspected disability condition that may significantly impact access to learning (Child Find Mandate). Child Find applies to IDEA’s Part B IEP services for children ages 3-21 and to IDEA’s Part C early intervention services for children Birth-3. See PAVE’s article about early intervention services for more information.

Supporting a Student with ASD

Children and youth in adolescence may demonstrate the following characteristics of ASD:

  • Avoiding eye contact or making excessive eye contact
  • Uncertainty in understanding what facial expressions or tones of voice mean
  • Not understanding sarcasm, figures of speech, or metaphors

Autism is an eligibility category for a student to receive school-based services through an Individualized Education Program (IEP). The categories are defined by the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). State law further defines the categories and criteria for intervention.

The Washington Administrative Code that describes IEP eligibility (WAC 392-172A-01035) describes Autism as “a developmental disability significantly affecting verbal and nonverbal communication and social interaction, generally evident before age three, that adversely affects a student’s educational performance. Other characteristics often associated with autism are engagement in repetitive activities and stereotyped movements, resistance to environmental change or change in daily routines, and unusual responses to sensory experiences.”

Schools have specific evaluation tools to determine how the features of an autistic disorder might impact school. Evaluations can also determine eligibility based on health impairments (for example, ADHD), speech delays, learning disabilities, or emotional behavioral conditions that might co-occur with autism. See PAVE’s article about evaluation process for more information, including a list of all IDEA eligibility categories.

In short, a student is eligible for an Individualized Education Program (IEP) if the evaluation determines:

  • The student has a disability
  • The disability significantly impacts access to education
  • The student requires Specially Designed Instruction (SDI) and/or Related Services

Not every student with ASD is eligible for school-based services through an IEP. Some may have “major life activity” impacts to qualify for a Section 504 Plan, which can accommodate a student within general education. Section 504 provides anti-discrimination protections as part of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Keep in mind that students with IEPs have disability-related protections from IDEA and Section 504. Additional protections are part of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). See PAVE’s article about disability history for additional information.

A diagnosis is not required to provide special education or related services. If the school district requires a comprehensive medical evaluation, they may request permission from the parent to have the child evaluated at the district’s expense (WAC 392-172A-03020).

Getting Supports: Where to Start

Families whose children experience autism may need services beyond school. Speech, Occupational Therapy, Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) therapies, and other services may be available through insurance if they are determined to be medically necessary. The state Health Care Authority provides information about ABA resources and how to seek approval from public insurance (Apple Health) for specific therapies. HCA also hosts a list of Contracted ABA providers in Washington State.

Diagnosing ASD can be difficult since it can appear differently from one person to another, and indicators change depending on the chronological and developmental age of the individual. Doctors look at the person’s behavior and development to make a diagnosis. The diagnostic process usually takes a while, lasting years in some cases. In addition to working through insurance and health systems, you may encounter barriers when identifying providers who can diagnose within the age range of the individual.

Medical diagnoses in Washington are provided by Autism Centers of Excellence (COEs). An Autism COE may be a health care provider, medical practice, psychology practice, or multidisciplinary assessment team that has completed a certification training authorized by the state’s Health Care Authority (HCA). Physicians, nurse practitioners, and pediatric primary care naturopaths are eligible to apply for COE training and endorsement. The Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA) accepts diagnoses from COEs as a component of DDA services eligibility, except for naturopathic providers.

Locate screening and diagnostic services in your location at ParentHelp123. If insurance doesn’t cover the full cost of diagnosis, check with the diagnostician to identify sliding scale or other payment options.

PAVE provides support to families navigating various healthcare systems related to disability. Fill out a Support Request for direct support and click on the “Health and Wellness” link to be directed with individual support. 

Building Community Connections

Connecting with other families to share and learn from experiences is invaluable, and there is a wealth of resources available to assist those seeking support and information in Washington State. These resources include various programs and organizations tailored to meet specific needs, with some services focusing on race, cultural identity, and language. By tapping into these resources, families and individuals can find not only support but also a sense of belonging within a community that understands their unique challenges and perspectives.

Parent to Parent (P2P) of Pierce County, a program of PAVE, partners with Pierce County Human Services and The Arc of Washington State to provide No Cost training and support. PAVE’s Pierce “Parent 2 Parent Support Groups” offers a nurturing space for caregivers to connect, share experiences, and find guidance. Support groups specific to a cultural and linguistic community (Spanish-speaking, and Black & African American families) will be supported by a PAVE facilitator that is a cultural/linguistic match for the families served.

Parent to Parent (P2P) programs across various counties provide free training and support, with support groups tailored to cultural and linguistic communities such as Spanish-speaking and Black & African American families. P2P of Yakima, Walla Walla, Chelan/Douglas, Benton/Franklin, Skagit, Snohomish, Whatcom, Grays Harbor/Pacific, Clark, Klickitat, Lewis, Skamania, and Grant counties provide Spanish-speaking support, events, and resources. P2P King County supports Spanish-speaking and African American families. P2P of Snohomish also provides Arabic and Russian parent support groups.

Informing Families provides navigational supports for all ages, including referral to culturally responsive programs and services, such as Vietnamese Family Autism Advisory Board (VFAAB)Odessa Brown Children’s Clinic (OBCC), and Families of Color Seattle (FOCS).

The South Sound Autism Partnership is a collaborative network dedicated to raising awareness, acceptance, and advocacy for autism. SSAP aims to support and enact positive change within the community through monthly online meetings. Recordings of guest speakers at previous meetings and meeting notes are available on the SSAP website.

Learn More

The downloadable Autism Guidebook for Washington State, published by a dedicated Autism Task Force in collaboration with DOH and other agencies, offers a comprehensive resource for families, educators, medical professionals, and care providers. It features a detailed Autism Lifespan Resource Directory, diagnostic and special education eligibility criteria, and recommended intervention.

Another guidebook, the Pierce County Parent Coalition (PC2) Resource Guide, contains clickable and searchable links to services throughout the state.

The University of Washington Autism Center provides a manageable place to begin with a small collection of resource categories that include online tools, early recognition, organization, and neurodiversity. Within its online tools, UW maintains lists of organizations that provide advocacy, assessments, intervention services, and research/training. UW Autism Center’s Autism Spectrum 360 (AS360) helps autistic people, families, and providers easily find services, learn about autism across the lifespan, and connect with community resources, such as the recorded webinar “Could I Be Autistic?

Washington Autism Alliance (WAA) provides free support for families navigating insurance and medical systems and can help with DDA applications. WAA’s website requests families to join the agency by providing basic information before they navigate to request an intake. Note that while basic services are free from WAA, the agency may charge a fee based on a sliding scale if families request legal services from an attorney.

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) shares resources by autistic individuals with lived experience for people who have autism spectrum disorders, including a welcome kit for newly diagnosed individuals: Welcome to the Autistic Community! The DOH website links to family supports and services for individuals of all ages, including links to Regional Genetic Clinics.

Asking for Help is a Selfless Act for Family Caregivers

Many family caregivers find it difficult to ask for help in taking care of their loved ones. Whether it’s because they don’t want to burden others, not wanting to admit they need help, or feel that it’s “something that family does”, caregivers often don’t ask for help, or they reject help when it is offered. Despite the best intentions behind this, it’s not good for the caregiver or the person they care for. Overburdened and overwhelmed caregivers are not as effective at caregiving. Their loved one, who can tell that their caregiver is exhausted, may feel frustrated and guilty. Getting assistance from outside sources is helpful for everyone. Use these ideas to begin!

Start small: Ease into taking caregiving breaks (respite breaks). If a friend or family member offers to stay with your loved one, make the first respite break short. Have them take over care while you take a shower, run an errand, or take a walk. These short breaks will allow your friend or family member to get a feel for caregiving and allow you and the person you care for to adjust. This easing into respite can be especially important if the person you care for is an individual with intellectual or developmental disabilities or a person with dementia who has trouble adjusting to change.

Think about the interests and strengths of your friends and family. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, things they enjoy and things they dislike. Keep these in mind when using a family member or friend to help with caregiving. Allow your cousin who loves to cook to make a meal and your neighbor who loves to drive around town take your loved one to appointments. If a potential caregiver and your loved one have something in common that they enjoy, all the better.

Be prepared: Before anyone starts helping, put together a full sheet of information on the person you care for. This should include medications, schedule, likes and dislikes, and emergency contact information. Include what you want the caregiver to do, like help with bathing, cooking, or exercises.

Timing is everything: Ask for help in respite care during a time that is convenient for the potential respite caregiver. This means contacting them at a time when you know they will not be busy and asking their help at times when they are not working or are busy with other responsibilities. If you don’t know their specific schedule, ask when they might be free to help.

Be honest: When you ask for caregiving help, honesty is the best policy. Explain to the potential caregiver why you need a break, and why you think they would be a great person to help fill that gap. Also be up front about your concerns, as they will help the potential caregiver decide if they feel comfortable helping.

Accept the word “no”: Not everyone is comfortable being a caregiver, even if they have been one in the past. People’s lives are busy, they have plenty of other stress, and sometimes they have private issues that would keep them from being a respite caregiver. This doesn’t mean that they care about you or your loved one any less; it just means that they are not mentally or physically able to help in this manner. You can always ask for other forms of help, like having them run errands for you when you are too busy or bringing a meal occasionally. Allowing someone to say no to caregiving but still help when needed is valuable to everyone involved.

Plan ahead: You never know when you will need emergency respite, so having a couple of people on standby who have some experience in caregiving for your loved one is essential. Read more about planning for emergency respite in our article “Do You Have an Emergency Respite Plan?

Share the care: Just as no single person should have to be completely responsible for another person’s care, so there should be more than one respite caregiver. Think critically about your own friends and family who would be willing to help, along with the friends and family of the person who needs care, some of whom you may not know as well. They may wish to help, but don’t know how to ask. Having several people help from time to time means none of them get burnt out, and your loved one gets to see an array of friendly faces.

What about reaching beyond family and immediate friends to the groups in which you have been active, such as your exercise class members, your faith community, your parent group, etc. You might say something like “I haven’t been to book group in a while because I’ve been caring for my father, and I’m badly in need of a break. Do you think you might be able to come over and read to Dad for an hour next week?”

Think about professional respite care: There are a variety of ways to afford professional services for the person receiving care. Explore these resources from PAVE:

Online – Parent to Parent Coffee & Tea

April 18 @ 10:00 am 11:00 am PDT

REGISTER Open to parents and caregivers seeking support to navigate the various emotions and life adjustments of raising a child, youth, and adult with a disability. We can help connect families to Pierce County community resources, fosters relationships with other parents and build a support network for parents feeling isolated.

This group supports:

Open Discussions: During the meetings, parents engage in open and honest discussions about various aspects of parenting children with disabilities. Topics might include navigating the healthcare system, accessing educational resources, managing daily routines, promoting social interactions, and self-care for parents.

Shared Experiences: Parents share their personal experiences, challenges, and strategies they have found effective in raising children with disabilities.

Cultural and Language Sensitivity: Efforts are made to ensure that the group is culturally sensitive and inclusive, respecting the diverse backgrounds and needs of all participants. REGISTER

Free

Online – Parent to Parent Coffee & Tea

April 27 @ 10:00 am 11:00 am PDT

REGISTER Open to parents and caregivers seeking support to navigate the various emotions and life adjustments of raising a child, youth, and adult with a disability. We can help connect families to Pierce County community resources, fosters relationships with other parents and build a support network for parents feeling isolated.

This group supports:

Open Discussions: During the meetings, parents engage in open and honest discussions about various aspects of parenting children with disabilities. Topics might include navigating the healthcare system, accessing educational resources, managing daily routines, promoting social interactions, and self-care for parents.

Shared Experiences: Parents share their personal experiences, challenges, and strategies they have found effective in raising children with disabilities.

Cultural and Language Sensitivity: Efforts are made to ensure that the group is culturally sensitive and inclusive, respecting the diverse backgrounds and needs of all participants. REGISTER

Free

Online – Pierce County P2P Helping Parent Training

May 22 @ 9:00 am 12:00 pm PDT

REGISTER Pierce County Parent to Parent partners with The Arc of Washington and Pierce County Community Connections to provide support, information, and education for parents of children with disabilities and special healthcare needs.

This is the required training to become a 1:1 helping parent volunteer and support other parents who have just learned their child has a condition or need support for any reason.

What is a “Helping Parent?”

A Helping Parent is a parent or guardian of a child with a disability, developmental delay, or ongoing medical need who has completed training from the Parent to Parent (P2P) Program. Helping Parents are thoughtfully matched with families whose children have similar experiences or diagnoses. Through one-on-one emotional and informational support, they offer understanding, encouragement, and shared wisdom. At the heart of this connection is the message: “I’ve been there—I understand.”

What Will I Learn?

  • Emotional Support Strategies
  • Emotional Responses
  • Self-Care Strategies
  • The Match Process
  • Empowerment
  • Communication & Active Listening
  • Volunteer Expectations
  • Ways to volunteer
  • PAVE Programs
  • Local Resources
Free