Parent to Parent (P2P) Connects Caregivers Statewide for Support

A Brief Overview

Full Article

Family caregivers for children with disabilities and special healthcare needs may feel isolated or uncertain about where to seek help for their children and themselves. A place for support is Parent to Parent (P2P), a network that connects families to trained parent volunteers who have experienced a similar journey with their own children. In addition to resources and information, parents share personal support and encouragement.

Families new to the disability world can find preliminary information and request help right away by filling out a short form on a website page designed just for them, hosted by The Arc of Washington: Getting Started/Contact Us…Welcome to our World.

The first P2P program started in Nebraska in 1971. Programs started in Washington State in 1980. A national P2P network was established in 2003 to provide technical support to the statewide networks, with a goal to reach all 50 states. P2P USA provides an historical timeline.

Washington has a network of P2P programs that serve every corner of the state. The Arc provides support to the regional programs and links them to national P2P resources. Families can go to arcwa.org to find a list of P2P coordinators, organized by region and listed under the counties served.

¿Hablas español? Para más información y hacer referidos, llama a su condado abajo: Coordinadores de Enlance Hispano.

Families can request a parent match 

When reaching out to the local P2P network, families can request a “parent match.” P2P leaders will locate a helping parent volunteer who has a similar lived experience and help the families get connected. From there, a supportive relationship can develop, where empathy, hope, and strength are shared.

Helping Parents cannot provide all answers, but they share insight, solidarity, and role modeling. They also share the joy and pride they’ve experienced while watching their child grow and achieve. A phrase commonly shared is: “I know, and I understand.”

In keeping with evidence-based practices promoted by national and state P2P organizations, the helping parent volunteers are training following a specific process and all personal information is kept confidential.

P2P services are free and include:

  • Emotional support for family caregivers of children with special needs
  • Referrals for community resources
  • Information sharing about disabilities and medical conditions
  • Family matching with trained helping parents
  • Social and recreational events
  • Training for parents who would like to become helping parent volunteers
  • Disability awareness and community outreach

Someone to listen and understand

Washington’s statewide P2P is funded by The Arc of Washington State, the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA), and the Department of Health/Children with Special Health Care Needs. Individual county programs receive funding from host agencies, county DDA offices, the United Way, local grants, private donations, and more.

The Council for Exceptional Children published a research paper about P2P in 1999. Respondents to a national survey reported the following benefits from participating in P2P:

  • Someone to listen and understand (66 percent)
  • Disability information (63 percent)
  • Care for my child (58 percent
  • Ways to find services (54 percent)

Statewide, various agencies and family-led organizations host local P2P programs. An interactive map of Washington State provides an easy way to locate information in English and Spanish about a P2P program in your area.

Another way to begin is to contact the statewide P2P coordinator, Tracie Hoppis, by sending an email to: parent2parentwa@arcwa.org.

Self-Care is Critical for Caregivers with Unique Challenges

Caring for individuals with disabilities or complex medical needs can be emotionally and physically draining, making intentional self-care essential for long-term well-being.  Simple practices like mindfulness, getting enough sleep, going for a walk, or taking a few deep breaths can help reduce stress and build resilience. Talking to others who understand and finding time to rest can also help caregivers stay strong and healthy.

A Brief Overview

  • Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is any activity or strategy that helps you survive and thrive in your life. Without regular self-care, it can become impossible to keep up with work, support and care for others, and manage daily activities.
  • PAVE knows that self-care can be particularly challenging for family members caring for someone with a disability or complex medical condition. This article includes tips and guidance especially for you.
  • PAVE provides a library with more strategies to cultivate resilience, create calm through organization, improve sleep, and more: Self-Care Videos for Families Series.

Introduction

Raising children requires patience, creativity, problem-solving skills and infinite energy. Think about that last word—energy. A car doesn’t keep going if it runs out of gas, right? The same is true for parents and other caregivers. If we don’t refill our tanks regularly we cannot keep going. We humans refuel with self-care, which is a broad term to describe any activity or strategy that gives us a boost.

Self-care is not selfish! Without ways to refresh, we cannot maintain our jobs, manage our homes, or take care of people who need us to keep showing up. Because the demands of caring for someone with a disability or complex medical condition can require even more energy, refueling through self-care is especially critical for caregivers.

Two Feet, One Breath

Before you read anymore, try this simple self-care tool called Two Feet, One Breath. Doctors use this one in between seeing patients.

Two Feet, One Breath infographic. Calming practice that can help your mental health.

Download this infographic, Two Feet 1 Breath:
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Two Feet, One Breath can become part of every transition in your day: when you get out of bed or the car, before you start a task, after you finish something, or any time you go into a different space or prepare to talk with someone. This simple practice highlights how self-care can become integrated into your day.

Although a day at the spa might be an excellent idea, self-care doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive to have a big impact!

Almost everyone knows or cares for someone with special needs. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), at least 28% of the American population experiences a disability. The result is widespread compassion fatigue, which is a way to talk about burnout from giving more than you get.

Below are some ways to use self-care to avoid burnout!

Connect with others

Building a support network with others who share similar life experiences can be incredibly valuable. When you’re going through a challenging or unique situation—like parenting a child with special needs or managing a family health issue—it can feel isolating. These connections offer emotional validation and a sense of understanding that can be hard to find elsewhere—you don’t have to explain everything because others simply get it. Research shows that social support can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, enhancing overall well-being and resilience. Beyond emotional comfort, support networks empower individuals by helping them build confidence, understand their rights, and even engage in advocacy efforts that benefit their families and communities.

Here are some communities and resources to help you get connected:

Parent-to-Parent Connections
The Parent-to-Parent network can help by matching parents with similar interests or by providing regular events and group meetings.

Support for Families of Youth Who Are Blind or Low Vision

Washington State Department of Services for the Blind (DSB) offers resources and support for families. You can also hear directly from youth about their experiences in the PAVE story: My story: The Benefits of Working with Agencies like the Washington State Department of Services for the Blind.

Support for Families of Youth Who Are Deaf or Hard of Hearing
Washington Hands and Voices offers opportunities for caregivers of youth who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing (DHH) to connect, share experiences, and find community.

Resources for Families Navigating Behavioral Health Challenges
Several family-serving organizations provide support, education, and advocacy for caregivers of children and youth with behavioral health conditions: 

  • Family, Youth, and System Partner Round Table (FYSPRT). Regional groups are a hub for family networking and emotional support. Some have groups for young people.
  • Washington State Community Connectors (WSCC). WSCC sponsors an annual family training weekend, manages a Substance Use Disorder (SUD) Family Navigator training, and offers ways for families to share their experiences and support one another.
  • COPE (Center of Parent Excellence) offers support group meetings and direct help from lead parent support specialists as part of a statewide program called A Common Voice.
  • Dads Move ​works to strengthen the father’s role in raising children with behavioral health needs through education, peer support and advocacy.
  • Healthy Minds Healthy Futures is an informal network on Facebook.

PAVE provides a comprehensive toolkit for families navigating behavioral health systems, including guidance on crisis response, medical care, education, and family support networks.

Get Enough Sleep

The body uses sleep to recover, heal, and process stress. If anxiety or intrusive thinking consistently interrupts sleep, self-care starts with some sleeping preparations:

Move Your Body

Moving releases feel-good chemicals into the body, improves mood, and reduces the body’s stress response. Walk or hike, practice yoga, swim, wrestle with the kids, chop wood, work in the yard, or start a spontaneous living-room dance party.

The Mayo Clinic has this to say about exercise:

  • It pumps up endorphins. Physical activity may help bump up the production of your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. Although this function is often referred to as a runner’s high, any aerobic activity, such as a rousing game of tennis or a nature hike, can contribute to this same feeling.
  • It reduces the negative effects of stress. Exercise can provide stress relief for your body while imitating effects of stress, such as the flight or fight response, and helping your body and its systems practice working together through those effects. This can also lead to positive effects in your body—including your cardiovascular, digestive and immune systems—by helping protect your body from harmful effects of stress.
  • It’s meditation in motion. After a fast-paced game of racquetball, a long walk or run, or several laps in the pool, you may often find that you’ve forgotten the day’s irritations and concentrated only on your body’s movements. Exercise can also improve your sleep, which is often disrupted by stress, depression and anxiety.

Be Mindful

Mindfulness can be as simple as the Two Feet, One Breath practice described at the top of this article. Mindfulness means paying attention or putting your full attention into something. Focusing the mind can be fun and simple and doesn’t have to be quiet, but it should be something that you find at least somewhat enjoyable that requires some concentration.  Some possibilities are working on artwork, cleaning the house or car, crafting, working on a puzzle, cooking or baking, taking a nature walk, or building something.

For more mindfulness ideas, check out PAVE’s Mindfulness Video Series. From this playlist, Get Calm by Getting Organized, explores how getting organized provides satisfaction that releases happiness chemicals and hormones.

Schedule Time

A day can disappear into unscheduled chaos without some intentional planning. A carefully organized calendar, with realistic boundaries, can help make sure there’s breathing room.

Set personal appointments on the calendar for fun activities, dates with kids, healthcare routines, and personal “me time.” If the calendar is full, be courageous about saying no and setting boundaries. If someone needs your help, find a day and time where you might be able to say yes without compromising your self-care. Remember that self-care is how you refuel; schedule it so you won’t run out of gas!

Time management is a key part of stress management! This article, “Stress Management: Managing Your Time” from Kaiser Permanente, gives tips for managing your time well, so you can reduce the pressure of last-minute tasks and make space for the things that matter most to you.

Seek Temporary Relief

Respite care provides temporary relief for a primary caregiver. In Washington State, a resource to find respite providers is Lifespan Respite. PAVE provides an article with more information: Respite Offers a Break for Caregivers and Those They Support.

Parents and caregivers of children with developmental disabilities can seek in-home personal care services and request a waiver for respite care from the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA). PAVE provides two training videos about eligibility and assessments for DDA. For more information about the application process, Informing Families provides a detailed article and video.

Download the Emotional Wellness Tips for Caregivers

Evaluations Part 1: Where to Start When a Student Needs Special Help at School

When a student is struggling in school and may have a disability, families can request a formal evaluation to explore eligibility for special education services. The process includes submitting a written referral, participating in a team-based assessment, and using the results to guide individualized supports. Even if a student doesn’t qualify for an IEP, other protections and accommodations may still be available. 

A Brief Overview 

  • Special Education is provided through the Individualized Education Program (IEP) for students with qualifying disabilities. 
  • Anyone with knowledge of a student’s needs can make a referral for evaluation. 
  • If a student is struggling and has a known or suspected disability, the school must evaluate to determine eligibility for special education. 
  • Referrals must be made in writing, and schools must support families in removing barriers to this process, including providing translation and interpretation. 
  • To qualify for an IEP, a student must meet three criteria: have a disability, experience adverse educational impact, and need Specially Designed Instruction (SDI). 
  • Families are active participants in the evaluation and IEP development process and may request revisions to evaluation summaries and IEP statements. 
  • Eligibility is determined based on how a disability affects learning, not solely on a medical diagnosis, and must fit one of 14 federally recognized categories. 
  • Schools follow specific timelines for responding to referrals, completing evaluations, and developing IEPs.  
  • PAVE provides Sample Letters to Support Families in Their Advocacy, including a Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation

Introduction

When a student is struggling in school and may have a disability, families have the right to ask for an evaluation to better understand their child’s needs. This process helps identify learning challenges and guides decisions about supports that can make school more accessible. Starting with a referral for evaluation, families and schools can work together to identify what a student needs to thrive with individually tailored school-based supports. 

Who Can Make the Referral?

Anyone with knowledge of a student’s learning or developmental needs can make a referral for special education evaluation. This includes parents, guardians, family members, teachers, school staff, counselors, early learning providers, and even community members. Referrals can be made for students ages 3–21 who are suspected of having a disability and may need special education services.

School districts are required to actively seek out and evaluate students who may need support. This responsibility is called Child Find, and it is part of the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Districts must have procedures in place to locate, identify, and evaluate students, including those who are unhoused, in foster care, highly mobile, or attending private schools within district boundaries.

Removing the Barriers to Evaluation

Schools must support individuals who are unable to write by helping them complete the referral in another format. This includes offering assistance in drafting the referral or providing alternative methods such as verbal requests or translated forms. The goal is to remove barriers that might prevent a family from initiating the evaluation process.

Schools are legally required to provide evaluation materials and meeting support in the family’s native language or preferred mode of communication. This includes oral translation, sign language interpretation, Braille, or other formats when written language is not used. During the evaluation process, districts must ensure that parents understand all documents and decisions, and must document that translation or interpretation was provided. For example, prior written notice must be translated orally or by other means, and the district must keep written evidence that the parent understood the content. These protections are outlined in the statewide Procedural Safeguards developed by the Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI).

Appropriate Evaluation

The IDEA requires schools to use “technically sound” instruments in evaluation. Generally, that means the tests are evidence-based as valid and reliable, and the school recruits qualified personnel to administer the tests. A single assessment tool, such as an Intelligence Quotient (IQ) test, is not enough to determine eligibility for special education services. Instead, schools must conduct a comprehensive, unbiased evaluation using multiple methods to understand a student’s unique educational needs. This process involves a team approach and includes parents or guardians as active participants. The results help guide decisions about how best to support the student’s learning.

Evaluation Criteria as a 3-part Process

Not every student who has a disability and receives an evaluation will qualify for an IEP. The school district’s evaluation asks 3 primary questions in each area of learning that is evaluated:

  1. Does the student have a disability?
  2. Does the disability adversely impact education?
  3. Does the student need Specially Designed Instruction (SDI)?

If the answer to all three questions is Yes, the student qualifies for an IEP.

Family Role in Evaluation

Keep in mind that a student does not need to meet all three criteria to be evaluated. Under the Child Find Mandate of IDEA, the school district must evaluate a child if there is a known or suspected disability that may have significant impact on learning. 

Families are active participants in the evaluation process. After the evaluation is reviewed, the IEP team meets to talk about how to build a program to meet the needs that were identified in the evaluation. Key findings are summarized in the Adverse Educational Impact Statement, which guides the rest of the IEP. Additional findings become part of the present levels statement, which are matched with IEP goal setting and progress monitoring.

Read the Adverse Educational Impact Statement carefully to make sure it captures the most important concerns. The rest of the IEP is responsible to serve the needs identified in this statement. Families can request changes to this statement at IEP meetings. PAVE’s article, Advocacy Tips for Parents, provides information to help families prepare for and participate in meetings.

From Evaluation Results to IEP

Information, or data, collected during the evaluation is essential for developing the IEP. One of the most important outcomes of the evaluation is determining whether the student needs Specially Designed Instruction (SDI), which is the “special” in special education. The evaluation determines whether SDI is needed to help a student overcome barriers and access learning in ways that work best for them.

SDI is tailored instruction that helps a student overcome barriers caused by a disability and access learning in ways that work best for them. This may include changes in content, teaching strategies, or learning environments. For example, SDI might involve breaking tasks into smaller steps, using visual supports, or providing extra time for assignments. These supports are designed to help the student make meaningful progress in school.

Understanding how SDI works can help families participate more fully in IEP development. Asking questions about SDI can lead to more effective planning and collaboration. For example:

  • What specific instruction will be provided?
  • Who will deliver it?
  • How will progress be measured?

These questions can guide meaningful conversations during IEP meetings and ensure that the IEP reflects the student’s strengths, challenges, and learning needs.

To learn more, watch PAVE’s three-part video series: Student Rights, IEP, Section 504, and More.

In What Areas Can a Student Be Evaluated?

When a parent signs consent for an evaluation, looking through the list of areas the school intends to evaluate is important to ensure that all concerning areas are included. Families can request additional areas to include in the evaluation, including a Functional Behavioral Assessment, for example.

Keep in mind that strengths are measured alongside challenges and can provide important details. An IEP should always include statements about what the student does well, and the IEP team uses this information to reinforce and build on strengths throughout the program.

Below is an infographic showing skill areas that are commonly evaluated:

Areas of evaluation

Download In What Areas Can a Student Be Evaluated?:
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Eligibility Categories for Special Education

Once a student’s evaluation confirms a disability that impacts learning, the next step is to determine whether the disability fits one of 14 federally recognized categories. These categories are outlined in Washington’s Administrative Code (WAC 392-172A-01035):

  • Autism
  • Emotional Disturbance
  • Multiple Disabilities
  • Specific Learning Disability
  • Visual Impairment / Blindness
  • Deaf-Blindness
  • Hearing Impairment
  • Orthopedic Impairment
  • Speech/Language Impairment
  • Developmental Delay (ages 0-8)
  • Deafness
  • Intellectual Disability
  • Other Health Impairment
  • Traumatic Brain Injury

These categories are intentionally broad to reflect the diverse ways disabilities can affect learning. The IEP team may discuss which category best fits the student’s unique situation. While a medical diagnosis can help inform the process, eligibility is determined by how the disability impacts the student’s education. This impact can be assessed with or without a formal diagnosis.

There is no such thing as a “behavior IEP” or an “academic IEP.” Once a student qualifies, the school is responsible for addressing all identified areas of need. The IEP is personalized to include programming, services, and placement designed to support the whole child.

In Washington State, children through age 9 may be eligible for services under the category of Developmental Delay. Full definitions for each category are available in WAC 392-172A-01035 and are also reproduced in this PAVE article: Washington Special Education Categories.

Timeline of Evaluation and Development of an IEP

The school follows specific deadlines for an evaluation process. They have 25 school days to respond to the referral in writing. If they proceed with the evaluation they have 35 schools days to complete the assessment. For an eligible student, an IEP must be developed within 30 calendar days.

Track your student’s progress from the point of referral for evaluation to the development of the IEP with the infographic below.

Timeline of Evaluation and development of an individualized education program (IEP)

Download the Timeline of Evaluation and Development of an IEP:
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Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation

Washington law requires that referrals for special education evaluation be made in writing. If a verbal request was previously denied, start again with a formal written letter sent by email, certified mail, or delivered in person.

OSPI provides a downloadable referral form on its Making a Referral for Special Education page. The person making the referral can use this form or any other written format that clearly communicates the request to evaluate.

Address the referral to the district special education director or program coordinator, and include an administrator at the student’s school. Be sure to include the student’s full name and birthdate, a clear statement requesting evaluation in all areas of suspected disability, and specific concerns. Supporting documents or letters from doctors, therapists or other providers may be attached. Include complete contact information and a statement that the parent or guardian is prepared to sign consent for the evaluation to begin.

Download the Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation:
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Options When Families and Schools Disagree

Families can ask school staff to explain their decisions in writing. If a parent or guardian disagrees with something the school decides, they have rights to informal and formal dispute resolution options that are protected by the IDEA. Schools must provide a document called procedural safeguards, which outlines these options and explains the rights of both students and families. PAVE continues this topic in an article: Evaluations Part 2: Next Steps if the School Says ‘No.’

Eligibility for Section 504 Protections

Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 is a federal civil rights law that helps protect students with disabilities from discrimination in schools that receive federal funding. It applies to individuals whose disabilities significantly affect major life activities—such as learning, breathing, walking, or concentrating. Because the law is broadly written, it can apply to a wide range of conditions and circumstances.

Students who receive services through an IEP also benefit from protections under Section 504, which are built into the IEP process. In some cases, students who don’t qualify for an IEP may still be eligible for support through a Section 504 Plan.

Protections against bullying and discriminatory discipline are aspects of Section 504. PAVE provides articles about Bullying at School: Resources and the Rights of Students with Special needs and What Parents Need to Know when Disability Impacts Behavior and Discipline at School.

Learn More

PAVE provides downloadable toolkits ready for you, including Where to Begin When a Student Needs Help. For the full list of toolkits, type “toolkit” in the search bar at the top of this page.

Click on Get Support at the top of this page to submit a Support Request and receive individually tailored support, training, information, and resources.

Evaluations Part 2: Next Steps if the School Says ‘No’

Families may feel uncertain or discouraged when a school denies a request for special education evaluation or finds a student ineligible for services. Fortunately, there are steps families can take to respond, seek clarification, and continue advocating for their child’s needs. Understanding available options and protections can help families take informed action and make decisions that support their child’s access to appropriate educational services.

A Brief Overview

  • If the school denies a request for a special education evaluation or does an evaluation and determines a student is ineligible for services, families have options.
  • Schools must issue a Prior Written Notice (PWN) explaining their decision to evaluate or deny a request.
  • Students who do not qualify for an IEP may still be eligible for a Section 504 Plan.
  • Procedural Safeguards provide a specific process for special education and offer families the right to file formal complaints when they disagree with school decisions.
  • When there is a dispute about a district’s evaluation, one option is to request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) from a provider outside of the school district. This article includes a downloadable sample letter in multiple languages to help with that process.
  • PAVE supports students and families navigating educational services. Click Get Support at wapave.org to request 1:1 support.

Introduction

Parents have a variety of choices if the school denies a request to evaluate a student for special education, or if the school does an evaluation and finds the student ineligible for services through an Individualized Education Program (IEP). These decisions can feel discouraging, but they do not mark the end of the road. Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and its implementation through Washington Administrative Code (WAC 392-172A), families have the right to challenge decisions, seek clarification, and request further evaluation. Understanding these options can help families take informed next steps and ensure that their concerns are heard and addressed.

Ask for the Decision in Writing

The school is required to respond through a formal letter, called Prior Written Notice (PWN), to explain its rationale for moving forward with an evaluation or denying the request. If the explanation is unclear or lacks detail, families can ask for a more complete written response. Schools may not deny an evaluation based on internal resource limitations or staffing challenges. According to the Child Find Mandate of IDEA, schools are obligated to evaluate any student with a known or suspected disability, regardless of whether other classroom supports are being used. For example, schools may implement approaches like Response to Intervention (RTI) to support learning, but these methods cannot be used to postpone or deny assessment when a disability is suspected.

Request a Meeting

Discussing a student’s difficulties in a meeting, in-person or virtually, can help school staff understand a parent’s level of concern. A district representative, such as a director of special education, can provide insight about the process and additional options. Parents can invite anyone they would like to attend who has knowledge of the student, including a support person to take notes and help track the conversation.

Is a Section 504 Plan Appropriate?

If a student has a known disability, with some educational impacts, but there is no documented need for Specially Designed Instruction (SDI) and/or related services, the student might qualify for accommodations provided through a Section 504 Plan.

Section 504, which is part of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, defines disability as an impairment that impacts a major life activity. A formal evaluation is helpful but not required, and parent involvement is best practice. The team asks:

  1. Does the student have a disability?
  2. Does the disability limit one or more major life activities?

If the answer to these two questions is yes, the school can develop a plan to support the student within the general education setting. Assistive technology and modifications to the curriculum can be part of the plan, which includes individualized accommodations to ensure the student is able to access school in ways that are equitable. PAVE provides an article with more information about Section 504.

Options When Resolution Requires More Support

Families are protected by Procedural Safeguards, which outline a specific processes for resolving disagreements in special education. When informal conversations don’t lead to resolution, options such as mediation, community complaint, and due process may be appropriate. PAVE’s article, When Parents and Schools Disagree: Navigating Special Education Disputes, offers clear guidance on these pathways and what to expect. 

If a school denies a request for a specific evaluation, such as a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) or an assistive technology evaluation, families can still pursue dispute resolution options. These types of assessments may be essential for understanding a student’s behavioral needs or identifying tools that support access to learning. Requests for these evaluations are protected under the same legal framework as other special education decisions, specifically the procedural safeguards.

The Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) provides assistance to navigate these processes through a Special Education Parent Liaison, and families may also seek help from the Governor’s Office of the Education Ombuds for collaborative problem-solving. For personalized assistance, PAVE supports students with disabilities and their families. Click Get Support at wapave.org to request 1:1 support.

Request an Independent Education Evaluation (IEE)

Families who disagree with a school district’s evaluation results have the right to request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) conducted by a qualified professional outside the district. An IEE can offer additional information that may support the need for Specially Designed Instruction (SDI) and/or related services.

If the school district denies a request for an IEE at public expense, the district must initiate a due process hearing within 15 calendar days to show that its evaluation was appropriate.

When an IEE request is accepted, the school district provides a list of independent evaluators. Parents have discretion to call each one or to seek an alternative evaluator at their own expense before choosing who will evaluate the student. The school must consider the results of the IEE when deciding whether the student qualifies for special education programming.

Sample Letter to Request an IEE

Download the Sample Letter to Request a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) in:
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Families can email the IEE request letter, send it by certified mail (and keep the receipt), or hand carry it to the district office and request a date/time receipt. It is important to keep a copy of this letter and all school-related correspondence in the student’s home records. Organizing with a binder or a filing system helps with keeping track of all letters, meetings, conversations, etc. These documents will be important for student throughout their educational career and beyond, including when they transition out of school.

Final Thoughts

When a school says “no,” it can feel like a door has closed—but that moment can also mark the beginning of a more empowered path forward. Each action a family takes is a meaningful expression of care and commitment. Family caregivers should trust their instincts, lean on trusted resources, and reach out for support. Persistence paired with informed choices can lead to real change and this journey is about more than advocacy—it’s about championing a child’s right to thrive.

Learn More

PAVE Provides Sample Letters to Support Families in their Advocacy

PAVE offers a collection of downloadable sample letters, available in multiple languages, to help families advocate for their children’s educational needs. These letters support clear and effective communication between families and schools, making it easier to request evaluations, meetings, or behavioral support. Whether you’re just getting started or need help with a specific concern, these tools can guide your next steps.

What is an Advocate?

An advocate is someone who works toward a cause or goal. While professional advocates may be trained to support others, family caregivers often become advocates themselves when they speak up for a child’s needs. Sometimes the hardest part of advocacy is figuring out what to do next. When a child has unmet needs at school, students and family advocates can request evaluations, meetings, or behavioral assessments to help improve services. Putting these requests in writing helps formalize the process and ensures that everyone involved is accountable.

PAVE helps families get started with a collection of sample letters, available for download in multiple languages. We’ve bundled links to those letter templates here for easy reference. Each link takes you to a short article with key information to help you understand the process of special education and how your customized letter can move you forward in that process.

Always Keep Your “Why” in Mind

Why are you taking action? Because you want something to improve for your child! PAVE’s short video, Quick Start Your Advocacy in Two Steps, might help you get ready to craft a letter. The video helps you ask two key questions:

  • What do you want?
  • Who has the power to work with you and make that happen?

As you write your letter, keep those questions and your “why” top of mind.

Request an Evaluation

Sample Letter to Request Evaluation: Schools are required to evaluate students to determine eligibility for a Section 504 Plan or an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). A referral can come from anyone with knowledge of the student and must be in writing. This article provides a sample letter and a link to an alternative form provided by the Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI).

Download the Sample Letter to Request an Evaluation in:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Somali Soomaali | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Ukrainian українська | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

Request an IEP Meeting

Sample Letter to Request an IEP Meeting: Family members can request an IEP team meeting anytime there are concerns about how the IEP is being implemented and whether a student may have unmet needs. This article includes information about who is required to attend an IEP meeting and the rights of parents to participate in educational decision making.

Download the Sample Letter to Request an IEP Meeting in:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Somali Soomaali | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

Request a Functional Behavioral Assessment

Sample Letter to Request a Functional Behavioral Assessment: If a child’s behavior is getting in the way of their education, the school is responsible to assess the problematic behaviors and develop a support plan to teach the student what to do instead. In addition to a sample letter, this article provides a link to a video to help families and schools work together through this process.

Download the Sample Letter to Request a Functional Behavioral Evaluation in:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Somali Soomaali | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Ukrainian українська | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

Request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE)

Evaluations Part 2: Next Steps if the School Says ‘No’: If the school evaluates a student and says they aren’t eligible for an IEP or a specific area of service, parents have steps they can take if they disagree. One option is to request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) from an outside provider. This article provides a sample letter for requesting an IEE at school district expense. If the family requests an IEE because they disagree with the school’s evaluation or its conclusions, then the district must pay for the IEE or deny the request through Due Process: IEE denials are evaluated by an Administrative Law Judge.

Download the Sample Letter to Request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) in:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Somali Soomaali | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Ukrainian українська | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

Final Thoughts

Families who want individualized assistance can reach out to PAVE by completing the Get Support  form. Check out the PAVE Calendar for upcoming trainings and events.

Sample Letter to Request a Functional Behavioral Assessment

Families can formally request a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) when a student’s behavior interferes with learning. This process helps schools identify the root causes of behavioral challenges and develop a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) to support the student’s success.

A Brief Overview

  • When a student’s behavior disrupts learning, schools are responsible for identifying the cause and implementing positive interventions.
  • A Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) gathers data to inform a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP), which outlines strategies to support the student.
  • If a student with disabilities is disciplined, a Manifestation Determination meeting may be required to assess whether the behavior is linked to their disability. If so, the school must adjust services and may need to initiate or revise a BIP.
  • Families have the right to request an FBA at any time and should do so in writing to ensure clarity and documentation. They may include input from outside providers, and schools must respond with written rationale.
  • Requesting behavioral support does not mean removing a student from general education. Special education services must be provided in the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE) whenever possible.
  • Families can use the downloadable Sample Letter to Request an FBA—available in multiple languages—to formally initiate the FBA process. The letter may be sent via email, regular mail, or delivered in person. Families should keep copies of all correspondence for their records.

Introduction

When a student’s behavior gets in the way of their learning and/or the learning of others, the school is responsible to figure out how to support behavioral expectations. One way to do that is to assess why the student might be acting out and use that information to consider how positive behavioral interventions might teach the student what to do instead.

A Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) is one way schools gather information to understand why a student may be struggling with behavior. The data collected through an FBA helps the team develop a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP), which outlines strategies and supports tailored to the student’s needs. Families can request an FBA in writing, and this article includes a sample letter to help start that process.

When behavior patterns begin to interfere with learning, it’s best for schools to respond early—before disciplinary action is considered. A proactive approach allows the team to identify what the student needs and how to support them in the classroom. This may include reviewing current services, adding supports, or conducting an FBA to guide the development of a BIP. Families can participate in this process. PAVE provides a video training called Behavior and School: How to Participate in the FBA/BIP Process that offers helpful guidance for understanding each step. Early intervention can prevent unnecessary discipline, as explained in PAVE’s article, What Parents Need to Know when Disability Impacts Behavior and Discipline at School.

A teacher or school administrator might alert parents and request consent to begin an FBA. The Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI) is the state agency for Washington schools. OSPI provides guidance about discipline in a Technical Assistance Paper (TAP #2). Included are best practices for schools to follow when there are persistent behavioral concerns:

  • Develop behavioral goals in the Individualized Education Program (IEP)
  • Provide related services needed to achieve those behavioral IEP goals (specific therapies or counseling, for example)
  • Provide classroom accommodations, modifications and/or supplementary aids and supports (a 1:1 paraeducator, for example)
  • Provide support to the student’s teachers and service providers (staff training)
  • Conduct a reevaluation that includes a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA)
  • Develop a Behavioral Intervention Plan (BIP), as defined in the Washington Administrative Code (WAC 392-172A-01031

Manifestation Determination

If an FBA process begins after a student has been excluded from school through a disciplinary removal (suspension, expulsion, or emergency expulsion), families can review their procedural safeguards to understand rules related to a special education process called Manifestation Determination.

Here are the basics: When a behavior “manifests” (is directly caused by) a disability condition, then there is recognition that the student has limited fault for violating the student code of conduct. Management of behavior is part of the special education process. A Manifestation Determination meeting is to talk about how a student’s services can better serve their needs to prevent future behavioral episodes that are getting in the way of education.

Students with Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) may not be excluded from their regular educational placement, due to discipline, for more than 10 days in a school year without the school and family holding a Manifestation Determination meeting. According to the Washington Administrative Code (WAC 392-172A-05146), the student’s behavior is considered a manifestation of disability if the conduct was:

  • Caused by, or had a direct and substantial relationship to, the student’s disability
  • The direct result of the school district’s failure to implement student’s IEP

When these criteria are met, the school is responsible to review and amend the student’s services to ensure that the behaviors are addressed to prevent future escalations. If there isn’t a BIP, the school is required to develop one by initiating an FBA. If there is a BIP, the school is required to review and amend it to better serve the student’s needs.

Request FBA Formally, in Writing

Family caregivers can request an FBA/BIP process any time there are concerns that a student’s behavior is a barrier to their education. Families have the right to participate in all educational decision making for their students.

Make any request for an evaluation in writing. This is important because:

  1. There will be no confusion about how/when/why request was made.
  2. The letter provides critical initial information about what is going on with the student.
  3. The letter supports a written record of family/school interactions.

If the family wishes, they can attach information from outside providers with their request. For example, if an outside therapist or counselor has recommendations for behavioral interventions at school, the family has the option to share those. The school district is responsible to review all documents and respond with written rationale about how the information is incorporated into recommendations. Families may choose to disclose all, a portion, or none of a student’s medical information. Schools may not require disclosure of medical records.

Family caregivers/guardians must sign consent for any school evaluation to begin.

The FBA/BIP Might Prevent a Shortened School Day

According to OSPI, serving a student through a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) is a priority. OSPI discourages schools from reducing the student’s schedule because of behaviors:

“District authorities should not use a shortened school day as an automatic response to students with challenging behaviors at school or use a shortened day as a form of punishment or as a substitute for a BIP. An IEP team should consider developing an IEP that includes a BIP describing the use of positive behavioral interventions, supports, and strategies reasonably calculated to address the student’s behavioral needs and enable the student to participate in the full school day.”

A shortened school day should not be used to manage behavior when other supports have not been tried. OSPI’s Tips from the Special Education Division: Shortened School Days explains that an IEP team is encouraged to review current services, add supports, or conduct an FBA to better understand the behavior and determine appropriate next steps. The team can then use that information to update or create a BIP that includes strategies to help the student succeed.

Any change to a student’s schedule must be based on their individual needs. Decisions should reflect what the student requires to access their education—not general policies or broader operational considerations. If a student is sent home early without proper documentation or team discussion, that may count as a classroom exclusion or suspension. These actions can trigger protections under IDEA and must follow the correct process.

If the team decides a shortened day is needed, the IEP must explain why and include a plan to help the student return to a full day. The team should look at all options before making this decision and keep records of what was discussed and agreed upon. A shortened day should be temporary, based on data, and reviewed regularly to make sure the student is making progress.

Special Education is a service, not a location within the school

Please note that a request for behavioral support is NOT a recommendation to remove a student from the regular classroom and move them into an exclusive learning environment. Federal and state laws require that students eligible for special education services receive their education in the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE) to the maximum extent appropriate.

As further explained in PAVE’s article, Special Education is a Service, Not a Place, special education refers to the supports a student receives, while LRE refers to placement.

General education classrooms and spaces are the least restrictive. A child may be placed in a more restrictive setting if an IEP team, which includes family participants, determines that FAPE is not accessible even with specially designed instruction, accommodations, modifications, ancillary aids, behavioral interventions and supports, and other documented attempts to support a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) within the general education environment.

If the student was removed from their previous placement prior to a manifestation determination meeting, the school district is responsible to return the student to their placement unless the parent and school district agree to a different placement as part of the modification of the student’s services on their IEP and BIP.

Sample Letter to Request an FBA

Below is a sample letter family caregivers can use when requesting a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA). You can cut and paste the text into your choice of word processing program to help you start a letter that you can print and mail or attach to an email. Or you can build your letter directly into an email format. Be sure to keep a record of all requests and correspondence with the school. If sending through email, the format can be adjusted to exclude street addresses.

Download the Sample Letter to Request a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) in:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Somali Soomaali | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Ukrainian українська | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

You can email this letter or send it by certified mail (keep your receipt), or hand carry it to the district office and get a date/time receipt. Remember to keep a copy of this letter and all school-related correspondence for your records. Get organized with a binder or a filing system that will help you keep track of all letters, meetings, conversations, etc. These documents will be important for you and your child for many years to come, including when your child transitions out of school.

Final Thoughts

Navigating behavioral challenges in school can feel overwhelming, but families are not alone. Understanding the FBA and BIP process empowers caregivers to advocate for meaningful support that addresses the root causes of a student’s behavior. When families participate actively and make requests in writing, they help ensure that schools respond with thoughtful, individualized strategies that promote learning and inclusion.

Behavior is a form of communication. By working collaboratively with educators and service providers, families can help shape a learning environment that recognizes each student’s unique needs and strengths. With the right supports in place, students can thrive academically, socially, and emotionally—building confidence and resilience for lifelong success.

Learn More

Online – P2P Lunch & Learn: Disability & Disaster Planning w/ Peter Jung

September 30 @ 12:00 pm 1:00 pm PDT

REGISTER Join Peter Jung & Cindy Myers for an important discussion on how to keep your loved ones with disabilities safe during natural disasters. This session ill cover how to plan for essential disability supports before, during, and after emergency events.

As Washington State experiences an increase in natural and weather-related disasters, it is more important than ever to ensure that individuals with disabilities are not overlooked in emergency planning and response. REGISTER

Free

Online – P2P Lunch & Learn: Intellectual and Developmental Disability, Crisis, & First Response w/ Peter Jung

September 29 @ 12:00 pm 1:00 pm PDT

REGISTER Join us Monday September 29th for a discussion with former intensive service worker Peter Jung on how intellectual and developmental disabilities intersect with crisis situations and how to effectively engage with first responders. Learn the best practices for supporting your loved one during emergencies and what to expect from local response systems. REGISTER

Free

Online – Special Edition P2P Lunch & Learn w/ Kirk Larson from SSA

November 20 @ 12:00 pm 1:00 pm PST

REGISTER The P2P Lunch-n-Learn is a dedicated time for parents, caregivers, and providers to access presentations and training from PAVE programs and local Pierce County service providers. Presentation/training topics will vary based on the expressed needs of families in the local community. This group takes place during lunchtime, allowing parents to learn while enjoying a meal in a relaxed and informal setting. Each session might have a specific theme or topic of discussion. Themes could range from handling tantrums and promoting positive behavior to managing screen time, fostering resilience, and supporting learning at home. REGISTER

Join us November 20th as we welcome special guest Kirk Larson who is the Social Security Administration Public Affairs Representative for Washington State. Kirk will be sharing valuable information about SSI benefits, updates, and resources.

This group supports:

Trainings: The trainings are designed to be interactive and engaging. Participants have opportunities to ask questions, participate in discussions, and share their own experiences.

Inclusive Environment: The training sessions are inclusive and welcoming, catering to parents with diverse backgrounds and experiences.

Advocacy Support: The group may provide guidance on how to advocate for their child within the school system, healthcare system, or when dealing with government agencies.

Free

Online – Special Education Workshops

October 16 @ 6:00 pm 7:00 pm PDT

Present Levels & SMART Goals: Connecting the Dots in the IEP
Discover how to align present levels with meaningful, measurable SMART IEP goals that drive progress.
Presenter: Sherry Mashburn

November 20 @ 6-7 PM
Special Education Eligibility: How Schools Decide / Elegibilidad para Educación Especial: Cómo Deciden las Escuelas
Get a clear look at how school districts determine eligibility, the evaluation process, and what it means for your child’s access to special education services. / Obtenga una visión clara de cómo los distritos escolares determinan la elegibilidad, el proceso de evaluación y lo que esto significa para el acceso de tu hijo(a) a los servicios de educación especial.


January 15 @ 6-7 PM
Accommodations, Modifications, and SDI: What’s the Difference?
Discover how to align present levels with meaningful, measurable SMART IEP goals that drive progress.
Presenter: Marie Kerr

February 19 @ 6-7 PM
Discipline in Schools: What Parents Need to Know
Explore how discipline works for students with IEPs, including suspension rules, manifestation determinations, and how schools must balance safety with your child’s rights.
Presenter: Sherry Mashburn

April 23 @ 6-7 PM
High School Transition Planning: Preparing for What’s Next / Planificación de la Transición en la Escuela Secundaria: Preparándose para lo que Sigue
Learn how transition plans prepare your child for life after high school, college, work, and independent living, and how to make sure the plan reflects your child’s voice. / Aprende cómo los planes de transición preparan a tu hijo(a) para la vida después de la escuela secundaria, la universidad, el trabajo y la vida independiente, y cómo segurarte de que el plan refleje la voz de tu hijo(a).

May 21 @ 6-7 PM
Inclusion & Belonging: What Parents Should Know
Learn how inclusionary practices help students with disabilities access the general education classroom, build friendships, and thrive, while benefiting all students.
Presenter: Marie Kerr

No registration is required!
Click to join via zoom! – Meeting ID: 737 702 3071

Free

Get Ready for School with IEP Essentials

Every student deserves a strong start to the school year. For families of children with disabilities, preparing for school includes reviewing the Individualized Education Program (IEP). The IEP is a legal document and a living plan that outlines the supports and services a student needs to access their education. Families play a key role in shaping the IEP and making sure it works for their child.

A Brief Overview

  • The start of a new school year is a great time for families to revisit or begin the IEP process to support their student’s learning.
  • If a student doesn’t yet have an IEP, requesting an evaluation is the first step to determine eligibility for special education services.
  • Review the IEP before school starts to prepare questions and suggestions for the team.
  • Talk with your student about what to expect to reduce anxiety and build confidence.
  • Learn about the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) to understand your rights and responsibilities in the IEP process.
  • Communicate regularly with the IEP team to monitor progress and adjust plans as needed.
  • Gather documents, write questions, and invite support to prepare for IEP meetings.
  • Follow up after meetings to confirm next steps and maintain communication.
  • Take small, manageable steps to stay involved and support your student’s success.

Introduction

The beginning of a new school year is the perfect time to revisit your student’s Individualized Education Program (IEP). Whether your child already has an IEP or you’re just starting to explore the special education process, this season offers a fresh opportunity to reflect, plan, and engage.

As you and your student get ready for school, the most important thing is the “I” in IEP. The “I” is for “Individualized”. A thoughtful IEP highlights abilities and helps your student access the supports needed to learn. It helps ensure they receive the support necessary to learn, grow, and make meaningful progress—not just in school, but in life beyond graduation.

IEPs are built by teams, and families are essential members. When parents and students understand the process and actively participate, they help shape a plan that truly works.

What to do before the first day

If your student doesn’t have an IEP and you wonder whether a disability might be affecting their learning, now is a great time to explore the special education process. Understanding how evaluations work is the first step. If you’re unsure whether your child needs one, check out our article on How to Request an Evaluation, which explains how to get started.

Before the school year begins, review the IEP to prepare questions and suggestions for the team. PAVE recommends using their Steps to Read, Understand, and Develop an Initial IEP worksheet to guide this process.

After reviewing your student’s IEP or beginning the process to request one, the next step is ensuring your child is properly enrolled in school. Enrollment procedures vary by district, but they typically include submitting documentation, verifying residency, and understanding school assignment policies. For a clear overview of how and when to enroll your student, read this PAVE article: Starting School: When and How to Enroll a Student in School.

To help ease anxiety and build excitement, talk with your child about what to expect. Discuss new activities, classmates, and what will feel familiar. If your school offers an open house, plan to attend together. During your visit, take pictures and ask your child what they notice or wonder about. You can review the photos later to help them feel more prepared. PAVE’s article, Tips to Help Parents Plan for the Upcoming School Year, provides actionable strategies for easing anxiety, fostering independence, and creating a positive school experience.

What parents need to know about FAPE

At the heart of special education is the right to a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE), guaranteed by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). FAPE means that students with disabilities are entitled to an education tailored to their individual needs—not a one-size-fits-all program. This is what makes IDEA unique: it ensures that every eligible student receives services designed specifically for them through an Individualized Education Program (IEP).

To qualify for an IEP, a student must go through an evaluation process to determine if a disability is impacting their education. If the student meets criteria under IDEA, they become eligible for special education services. These services are not about placing a student in a specific classroom—they’re about providing the right support, wherever the student learns. As you review your child’s IEP or prepare for meetings, ask: Is this plan appropriate and suitable for my child’s unique abilities and needs?

IDEA includes six important principles

The IDEA, updated several times since 1990, outlines legal rights for students with disabilities and their families. This PAVE article, Special Education Blueprint: The Six Principles of IDEA, explores the core principles, including: Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE), Appropriate Evaluation, Individualized Education Program (IEP), Least Restrictive Environment (LRE), Parent and Student Participation, and Procedural Safeguards.

Effective communication is key to student success

Understanding legal rights is just the beginning—clear, consistent communication with the IEP team is one of the most effective ways to ensure your student’s plan leads to meaningful progress. Consider creating a communication plan with your child’s teachers or case manager. This might include weekly emails, a journal sent home in the backpack, scheduled phone calls, or progress reports. Be sure to have this plan written into the IEP or included in the Prior Written Notice (PWN) so everyone stays on the same page.

Writing down how you’d like to stay in touch helps the team understand what works best for your family. Get creative—what matters most is that the plan supports clear, consistent communication for the whole team. ​Here are a few ideas for ongoing communication with the school: ​

  • A journal that your student carries home in a backpack​
  • A regular email report from the Special Education teacher​
  • A scheduled phone call with the school​
  • A progress report with a specific sharing plan decided by the team​
  • Get creative to make a plan that works for the whole team! ​

Keep a log of communication with the school district and educational service providers. PAVE provides a downloadable Communication Log to help you track emails, phone calls, and texts.

Ready, set, go! 5 steps for parents to participate in the IEP process

Understanding the laws and principles of special education can help parents get ready to dive into the details of how to participate on IEP teams. Getting organized with schoolwork, contacts, calendar details, and concerns and questions will help.

This 5-step process is downloadable as an infographic.

5 Steps for Parents to Participate in the IEP Process (English)

Download the IEP Essentials in 5 Steps in:
English | Chinese (Simplified) 中文 (Zhōngwén) | Korean 한국어 (Hangugeo) | Russian Русский (Russkiy) | Somali Soomaali | Spanish Español | Tagalog | Ukrainian українська | Vietnamese Tiếng Việt

1. Schedule

Parents or guardians should receive a written invitation to the meeting. The school and family agree on a date and time, and the school documents efforts to include families at all IEP team meetings. If the proposed time doesn’t work, remember that parents are required members of the team—you can request a different time that works better for you. 

Ask beforehand for the agenda and a list of who will attend. This helps ensure there’s enough time to fully address the topics being discussed. If a key team member can’t attend the meeting, you have the option to either provide written consent to excuse their absence or request to reschedule if their participation is important to you. ​For a list of suggested attendees and a downloadable form to save contact information, PAVE provides a Who’s Who on the IEP Team.​

If your student already has an IEP, a re-evaluation occurs at least once every three years unless the team decides differently. A parent can ask for a re-evaluation for sooner if needed, though typically a re-evaluation will not occur more than once a year.

2. Prepare

You can ask for a copy of the evaluation results or a draft IEP before the meeting to help you prepare. It’s a good idea to gather letters or documents from medical providers or specialists that support your concerns. Writing down a few questions ahead of time can help you remember what you want to ask. You might also make a list of your student’s strengths and talents—this helps the team build on what’s already working. If you have specific concerns, you can write a letter and ask for it to be included in the IEP. Some families invite a support person to attend the meeting, someone who can take notes, help you stay focused, and offer encouragement.

3. Learn

Knowing the technical parts of an IEP will help you understand what’s happening at the meeting. The IEP is a living program—not just a document—and it can be updated anytime to better meet your child’s needs. The IEP is a work-in-progress, and the document can be changed as many times as needed to get it right and help everyone stay on track.

Familiarize yourself with the components of an IEP: 

4. Attend

At the meeting, each person should be introduced and listed on the sign-in sheet. Schools generally assign a staff member as the IEP case manager, and that person usually organizes the team meeting. Any documents that you see for the first time are draft documents for everyone to work on.

Be present and free of distractions so you can fully participate. Ask questions, share your perspective, and help keep the focus on your child’s needs and goals. If your child isn’t attending, placing a photo of them on the table may remind the team to keep conversations student-centered.

Everyone at the table has an equal voice, including you!

5. Follow up

After the meeting, follow through with the agreed communication plan. Make sure that everyone’s contact information is current and that you know how and when updates will be shared. If you still have concerns after the meeting, request a follow-up meeting or submit additional notes.

Stay organized with calendars, contact lists, and copies of important documents. Talk with your child about the upcoming year to ease anxiety and build excitement!

Tips for a smooth school year

As the school year begins, it’s important to think proactively about how to support your child’s learning and development. Establishing routines, setting goals, and building relationships with school staff can make a big difference.

If all of this sounds a little overwhelming, break the work into steps. Determine the best way to help your family stay organized with paperwork and information. Choose a calendar system that helps you track appointments and school events, such as back-to-school night or parent-teacher conferences.

Help your child’s team understand what works best for your student and share their strengths with a one-pager or a letter of introduction. PAVE provides a one-pager template, What You Need To Know About My Child, and a sample letter of introduction, Sample Letter to the IEP Team – Today Our Partnership Begins.

Let’s wrap things up!

Getting ready for school can feel like a lot, especially when your child has an IEP. But you don’t have to do everything at once. Take it one step at a time, and remember: you are not alone. This journey includes your child, and you’re walking it together. You are a vital part of your child’s team, and your voice truly matters. When families and schools work as partners, amazing things can happen. So trust yourself, speak up, and share what you know—because no one knows your child better than you. You bring love, insight, and hope to the table.

From all of us at PAVE, we wish you a happy and successful school year!

Learn More

School Support Plans for Deployment-Tips for Parents

When a military parent deploys, children—especially those with disabilities—may show changes in behavior, emotions, or learning. With the right support at home and school, these transitions can become opportunities to build resilience, confidence, and connection.

A Brief Overview

  • Schools often notice changes in behavior when a parent deploys, and children with disabilities may feel deployment stress more deeply.
  • The Emotional Cycle of Deployment provides a glimpse into the emotional journey families experience, offering insight into how children’s needs and feelings may shift throughout each phase of a parent’s deployment.
  • Let the school know about an upcoming deployment as soon as possible. Sharing general information helps the school prepare while protecting mission details.
  • Federal and state laws protect the rights of military-connected children during deployments.
  • IEP or 504 supports may need updates to reflect emotional and behavioral changes.
  • A deployment support plan should include warning signs, coping strategies, and contacts.
  • School-based and at-home supports can help to support your child’s learning and emotional well-being during periods of service-related transitions.
  • Planning for medical decisions during deployment is essential for children with disabilities.
  • In Washington, some youth can make medical decisions starting at age 13; plan ahead for healthcare arrangements during and after deployment.
  • The Deployment School Support Checklist, included in this article with download links in several languages, helps families track key steps and information to support a smooth school experience before, during, and after deployment.
  • Teamwork between families and schools helps children feel safe, understood, and supported.

Why do schools need to know when a parent deploys?

Your children spend a large portion of their day in school, so teachers often notice changes or new behaviors. The value of parents and schools partnering to support military-connected children with the stressors of deployment is significant. As you know, having a parent away for a lengthy time places extra stress on children and the at-home parent, siblings and/or other care givers. No matter how often a military parent is deployed, and no matter how well-prepared a child might be for a parent’s absence, children with disabilities may be particularly vulnerable to the effects of stress on their physical and emotional well-being.

To ensure your child receives the appropriate support, it is important to communicate upcoming deployments with the school. Maintaining operational security (OPSEC) remains a priority during this process. The School Liaison and Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) Family Support office can provide guidance on how to share relevant information in a way that supports the child’s needs while safeguarding sensitive details. For National Guard families, your state’s Family Assistance Coordinator is also a valuable resource. You can find contact information for your School Liaison, EFMP Family Support office, and Family Assistance Coordinator by visiting Military Installations, a Military OneSource website.

What can you expect during deployment?

When a parent in the military gets ready to leave for deployment, it can be a big change for the whole family—especially for children. These changes often follow what’s called the Emotional Cycle of Deployment. This cycle includes different feelings that come and go before, during, and after a parent’s time away.

Here’s what that cycle looks like and how it might affect your child at school:

  1. Pre-Deployment: As families prepare for a parent’s departure, children may become anxious, clingy, or distracted. The change in routines can affect focus, emotional regulation, or behavior at school.
  2. Deployment: The first few weeks after a parent leaves are often the hardest. Children may show sadness, anger, or fear. They might miss their parent a lot and feel unsure about what’s happening. At school, this may appear as trouble paying attention, acting out, withdrawing, or feeling tired.
  3. Sustainment: As new routines form, children may feel more settled but still miss the deployed parent deeply. They might worry about their parent’s safety or feel left out when other kids talk about family events.
  4. Re-deployment: When the parent’s return nears, children may feel excited but nervous. Emotional ups and downs are common, and stress might spike again, making it hard to concentrate at school.
  5. Post-Deployment: Even joyful reunions can be stressful. Changes in rules or routines may cause confusion. It’s not uncommon for children to feel anxious or unsure about how to act around the returning parent.

Children with disabilities may experience these transitions more intensely. Changes in routine, caregivers, or emotional stability can significantly impact their learning and well-being. That’s why it’s essential for schools to be informed and prepared to offer consistent support throughout the deployment cycle. Teachers and staff can offer extra support, like checking in with the student, adjusting schoolwork, or helping them talk about their feelings in a safe way.

Know your student’s rights as a military child

Several laws—both federal and state—are in place to help protect the educational stability of military-connected students. These laws recognize the unique challenges your family may face during deployment or other transitions, and they’re designed to ensure that your child continues to receive the support they need when routines change or stress increases.

The Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunities for Military Children, commonly known as MIC3, allows schools to grant extra excused absences for children whose military parent is preparing for, returning from, or currently deployed in a combat or combat-support role. “Deployment” under MIC3 begins one month before the parent leaves and extends to six months after their return. You can request time off so your child can prepare, visit with the returning parent, or participate in family events. Approval is up to the school principal or superintendent and must balance academic needs with family well-being.

The federal Every Student Succeeds Act (ESSA) requires schools to identify students with a parent on active duty, including full-time National Guard or Reservists on Title 10 orders, using a Military Student Identifier. This helps educators make sure military-connected students don’t fall through the cracks by tracking academic progress and providing extra support when needed, such as during a deployment or family separation.

If your child has a disability, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act ensure that your child continues to receive appropriate services and accommodations, even when military life changes quickly. If deployment impacts your child’s behavior, emotions, or learning, their IEP or 504 team can work with you to update goals, supports, or strategies based on how your child is coping during this time. For example, if a child begins having more anxiety or difficulty with transitions due to a parent’s absence, breaks, visual supports, or check-ins with a counselor could be added to their services and supports.

Washington State law (RCW 28A.225.217) helps students stay in the same school during a parent’s deployment. If military orders require the custodial parent to relocate—including for deployment—the law allows the child to continue attending their current school, even if they temporarily live with a caregiver who isn’t the parent. This helps your child stay connected with familiar friends, teachers, and routines during a time of change.

Together, these laws help reduce disruption and protect your child’s education—keeping your family steady, supported, and connected wherever military life leads.

Communicate needs to the school

Communication about an upcoming deployment is key and setting up a meeting will help prepare the school. For example, you can request a meeting with your child’s teacher shortly after you find out about the upcoming deployment. If the separation is scheduled to start during summer vacation, you may want to book that conference as soon as possible after school begins. If your child is in middle or high school, meeting with every teacher might be a consideration as information may not reach each teacher who interacts with your child.

When meeting with your child’s teachers, you can let them know that there are some areas of information you won’t be able to share with them, due to operational security concerns regarding mission-related details.

Areas that can steer clear of mission-related operational security include:

  • Timeframe – A general idea of beginning and ending dates. For example, “sometime this fall” or “around the end of the school year” is sufficient without revealing exact dates.
  • Past experiences – If your child has experienced excessive stress during a previous deployment or their behavior reflects concern about the absence of a parent or changes in routine, this can help educators anticipate and respond to emotional or behavioral needs.
  • Coping mechanisms – Sharing strategies that have helped your child manage stress. For instance, if your child finds comfort in looking at a photo of the deployed parent, a teacher may allow them to keep a copy in their backpack or desk.
  • Temporary caregiving arrangements – Informing the school of any changes in guardianship, emergency contacts, or who is authorized to pick up your child during the deployment period.
  • Support needs – Requesting access to school counselors, military family support groups, or academic accommodations to help your child adjust during the deployment.
  • Reintegration preparation – Letting the school know that a parent will be returning soon (without specific dates) and that your child may need time to readjust emotionally or socially.

It can be helpful to keep a simple portfolio at home with samples of your child’s schoolwork, notes from teachers, and any behavior or support records from before, during, and after major changes—like a deployment or a Permanent Change of Station (PCS). This collection can help you and your child’s educators better understand how transitions affect learning and behavior over time. It also gives you a useful reference of what to expect and strategies that have been effective when preparing for future deployments or school meetings.

Consider sharing helpful resources with educators to deepen their understanding of military family challenges. The Military Family Research Institute at Purdue University developed a handout, How to Help Military & Veteran Families for Teachers, containing practical tips and information to support educators. The Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA) Office of Safety and Security developed a comprehensive tool for addressing the many challenges military children experience, called the Helping Hands Guide to Deployment for Educators.

Keeping a simple portfolio at home can be a valuable tool throughout your child’s deployment journey. Include samples of your child’s schoolwork, notes from teachers, and any records related to behavior or supports before, during, and after a deployment or move. This organized collection helps you and school staff track how your child is adjusting over time and better understand any challenges they face. It also provides a helpful reference when preparing for future deployments or school meetings, making it easier to spot patterns and share what strategies have worked well.

Develop a deployment support plan

Every child responds to stress in their own way—and those responses can look very different at home and at school. Your child may seem calm and well-adjusted at home, but still struggle emotionally or behaviorally in the classroom. That’s why it’s important to work with your child’s teachers and school staff to create a plan ahead of time.

A good plan should include:

Signs to Watch For
Work with teachers to identify behaviors that may signal your child is feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or upset. These might include sudden changes in mood, withdrawing from others, acting out, or difficulty focusing.

Steps to Take When Stress Shows Up
Decide together what actions the teacher or staff can take if your child appears to be struggling. This might include offering a break, using calming strategies, or allowing the child to visit a safe space like the counselor’s office or resource room.

Who to Contact
Make sure the school knows who to reach out to if your child needs extra support. This could be a parent, caregiver, School Liaison, or EFMP Family Support provider.

Tools and Strategies That Work
Share what helps your child at home—like using a fidget tool, listening to music, or looking at a photo of their deployed parent. Teachers may be able to use similar strategies in the classroom.

Check-Ins and Updates
Set up a regular time to check in with your child’s teacher or support team. This helps everyone stay on the same page and adjust the plan if needed.

School-Based Supports

Children with disabilities may qualify for extra support under an IEP or 504 Plan, especially during stressful transitions. Schools can provide services and supports to help students feel supported, stay focused, and succeed during a parent’s absence. Here are some examples:

Breaks and Safe Spaces

  • Calm-down areas give your child a quiet place to go when they feel overwhelmed.
  • Movement breaks or flexible seating can help kids who need to move or change positions during the day.
  • Check-in/check-out systems let your child talk to a trusted adult at school each day to share how they’re feeling.

Emotional Expression at School

  • School counselors or psychologists can meet with your child one-on-one or in small groups.
  • Deployment support groups let military kids talk with others who understand what they’re going through.
  • Creative activities like drawing, writing, or storytelling can help your child express feelings in a safe way.

Participation in School Activities

  • Clubs and extracurriculars like music, robotics, or art can help your child feel connected and confident.
  • Leadership opportunities such as student council or peer mentoring can build self-esteem.
  • Buddy systems pair your child with a classmate to help them feel less alone.

At-Home Supports

Your child’s needs don’t stop at the school gate. These resources and strategies families can help children cope with the challenges of deployment:

Mental Health & Counseling

Tutoring Help

  • Tutor.com for Military Families: Free, 24/7 online homework help in all subjects.
  • School Tutoring Programs: Ask your child’s school about after-school academic support.
  • Peer Tutoring or Study Groups: Older students may benefit from learning with classmates or mentors.

Activities and Recreation

  • Youth Sports and Recreation: On-base programs like soccer, dance, or swimming—often free or low-cost.
  • Family Walks or Outdoor Play: Simple daily activities to reduce stress and build connection.
  • Base or Community Centers: Offer structured physical activities like martial arts or fitness classes.

Family Support Tools

  • Sesame Street for Military Families: Videos, storybooks, and games to help young children understand deployment and other changes.
  • EFMP & Me: An online tool for families in the Exceptional Family Member Program to plan for services and transitions.
  • Military Child Care in Your Neighborhood (MCCYNPLUS): Helps families find affordable, high-quality child care when on-base care isn’t available. 
  • The Child Care in Your Home (CCYH) pilot program: In select areas (e.g., Seattle/Tacoma, WA), this program offers fee assistance for full-time, in-home care. Families can hire a caregiver, including nanny-sharing or live-in options. The pilot is funded through September 2027.

Medical Decision-Making Rights

For students with disabilities, planning for medical decision-making before deployment helps ensure continuity between health and school supports. In Washington State, youth age 13 and older can consent to certain types of care without a parent’s permission, such as outpatient or inpatient mental health treatment and substance use services. Before you deploy, set up legal tools like a medical power of attorney or healthcare proxy so caregivers can access care quickly. Coordinating with doctors, legal advisors, and school staff ahead of time helps avoid delays that could impact your child’s health and education.

When your child turns 18, they legally take control of most medical decisions. Without formal arrangements like guardianship, conservatorship, or power of attorney, parents lose access to medical records and the authority to make healthcare choices. Supported decision-making is another option that allows adults with disabilities to retain their rights while receiving help from trusted supporters to understand and communicate decisions—but it does not grant legal authority unless paired with additional agreements. For students with disabilities, who often rely on coordinated medical and educational supports, this transfer of rights can be especially challenging. If your child is approaching adulthood, begin planning early to ensure trusted adults can support their care.

Deployment School Support Checklist

The Deployment School Support Checklist is a practical tool to help families stay organized and proactive throughout each stage of a deployment. It outlines key steps and communication tips to support your child’s learning and well-being tips while giving you space to track tasks and make notes to share with your child’s school.

Download the Deployment School Support Checklist:
English | German Deutsch | French Français | Spanish Español | Tagalog

Final Thoughts

Supporting a child with disabilities during a parent’s deployment takes planning, flexibility, and teamwork. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Partnering with your child’s school, building a support network, and making a personalized plan can help your child feel secure, supported, and ready to learn.

To further support your child’s education during deployment, you can also connect with your state’s Parent Training and Information (PTI) Center. Every state has a PTI dedicated to helping individuals with disabilities, ages 0-26, and their families navigate education systems. Families living in Washington State—or those PCSing in or out of the state—can submit a Support Request to PAVE for personalized support. If you live in another state, you can find your local Parent Center at ParentCenterHub.org.

Learn More

Online – P2P Military Families Support Group

September 2 @ 5:00 pm 6:00 pm PDT

REGISTER – Connect with military-connected parents in a welcoming space to share support through deployments, school transitions, IEP/504 plans, medical care, and daily challenges.

What We Do:

The support group provides information about available resources, services, and programs that cater to the needs of military-connected families raising children with disabilities, including educational supports, therapy options, medical services, and assistive technologies.

Inclusive and Welcoming Environment: Safe space where all military-connected parents of children with disabilities feel valued.

Peer Connection and Encouragement: Share stories, offer support, and build relationships with those who understand your journey.

Information Sharing: Tips and resources on deployments, school transitions, IEP/504 plans, medical care, and community supports.

REGISTER

Free

Online – Pierce County Parent to Parent Helping Parent Volunteer Training – Families of Middle School/Teens 11-17

February 11, 2026 @ 4:00 pm 5:00 pm PST

What is a “Helping Parent?”
A Helping Parent is a parent or guardian of a child with a disability, developmental delay, or ongoing medical need who has completed training from the Parent to Parent (P2P) Program. Helping Parents are thoughtfully matched with families whose children have similar experiences or diagnoses. Through one-on-one emotional and informational support, they offer understanding, encouragement, and shared wisdom. At the heart of this connection is the message: “I’ve been there—I understand.” This session is geared toward families with children 11-17 years old. Training held via Zoom.

What Will I learn?

  • Emotional Support Strategies
  • Emotional Responses
  • Self-Care Strategies
  • The Match Process
  • Empowerment
  • Communication & Active Listening
  • Volunteer Expectations
  • Ways to volunteer
  • PAVE Programs
  • Local Resources

Pierce County Parent to Parent partners with The ARC of Washington and Pierce County Community Connections to provide support, information, and education for parents of children with disabilities and special healthcare needs.
This is the required training to become a 1:1 helping parent volunteer and support other parents who have just learned their child has a condition or need support for any reason. REGISTER

Free

Hybrid – Pierce County Parent to Parent Helping Parent Volunteer Training – Families of Young Adults 18-26

March 11, 2026 @ 4:00 pm 5:00 pm PDT

HYBRID – In-person or via Zoom

What is a “Helping Parent?”
A Helping Parent is a parent or guardian of a child with a disability, developmental delay, or ongoing medical need who has completed training from the Parent to Parent (P2P) Program. Helping Parents are thoughtfully matched with families whose children have similar experiences or diagnoses. Through one-on-one emotional and informational support, they offer understanding, encouragement, and shared wisdom. At the heart of this connection is the message: “I’ve been there—I understand.” This session is geared toward families of young adults 18-26.

What Will I learn?

  • Emotional Support Strategies
  • Emotional Responses
  • Self-Care Strategies
  • The Match Process
  • Empowerment
  • Communication & Active Listening
  • Volunteer Expectations
  • Ways to volunteer
  • PAVE Programs
  • Local Resources

Pierce County Parent to Parent partners with The ARC of Washington and Pierce County Community Connections to provide support, information, and education for parents of children with disabilities and special healthcare needs.
This is the required training to become a 1:1 helping parent volunteer and support other parents who have just learned their child has a condition or need support for any reason. REGISTER

Free
6316 South 12th St.
Tacoma, Washington 98465
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